Question for people with kids...(This is going to get DV'd to hell) Is there a polite way to say "It's a family thing (4), but don't bring your uncontrollable 12yr old?

Feb 7, 2026 9:03 PM

Yakeshinu

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Seriously.

It's kitchen intensive hot and cold stuff.
It's also chocolate and caramel.

And I love my nephew, but he's got NO control, all attention. He'll dump a pot of the "whatever is on the stove" on himself before thinking.

Note: this is PARTICULARLY why I chose to not to have kids.

funny

kids

Id just be blunt about it. If they have to be there, lock them away in a room with movies and games, be clear to their parent to watch them.

2 months ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I had to learn the hard way after decades of abuse/trauma that you have to watch out for your own mental health (that includes not needlessly subjecting yourself to excessive stress trying to put up with people) first and foremost. If having a particular person around will cause you undue duress from having to excessively monitor them, or walk on eggshells around them, etc, then unless a judge has ordered you to be their primary caregiver you are under no obligation to invite them over.

2 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Just be honest, and perhaps you'll hear "Dude, you don't think I know my kid's an asshole? Try living with him."

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

if a 12 year old is THAT uncontrollable in that way, I'd have to say either there's something wrong with them, or they should just be given a kitchen of stuff, and an adult there who just stands back with first aid kit and fire extinguisher, and lets them go whole hog, only intervening when they seriously hurt themselves, or catch shit on fire.
Sometimes they gotta learn the hard way to make it stick.

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

As someone who has a special needs kid who is difficult to have in social situations, it’s likely they already know so just be honest.
“I just can’t handle your child’s behavior in these kinds of situations and I’d like you to find them somewhere else to be if you’re going to attend.”

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't invite kids if it's not safe for kids.

2 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

I mean, that's LITERALLY the question I'm asking here, my friend.

2 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I'm not inviting the kid. I'd like to invite his mom (my sister).

"Hey sis, we're doing a family thing, but get a sitter or whatever you parents do, because your kid is absolutely not welcome!"

While that may be accurate, it's not good for family dynamics going forward.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"Open to all responsible ages, no one that can't be left alone will be admitted"

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ha! You assume that she is aware that she has no control of her child.

That's pretty central to the issue. :D

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ohh or "Adults Only Night, leave the kids at home"
People love that shit

2 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

That's...a surprisingly good take. It'll be difficult to pull off, considering she's the only one with a child, but I can work with the idea. Thanks!

2 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Invite a friend with a kid to make her not feel singled out?

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2 months ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

2 months ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

2 months ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Will there be other kids there? Can you just say "no kids at all" or are they the only people who would bring one. You might be stuck just being honest.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

No, just my parents, my sister, and oh, wait, not her child.

Yikes.

That's the issue.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You might just be fucked. Either deal with the uncontrollable kid or don't invite your sister.

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah, it was a long shot asking for advice when I pretty much knew the answer, but just look at all of the DVs I'm racking up. XD

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just tie the kid to the dogs and put them all in the back yard.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I mean, you're not wrong...

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

If you need any more child rearing advice from a single childless gay man you know where to find me.

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Noted.

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

*Are you sure the tag "Funny" should be used here?

A significant discussion with the parents is in order. But get some info first, i.e. are they clowning, are they self harming, will they be a danger to others? Be ready to have your mind changed. It might only be you.

2 months ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 5

Um... yeah, I didn't add the funny tag.

2 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Bad 'bot. Must be spanked.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Go it. Bend over Business Daddy! XD

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

The site sometimes automatically adds the "funny" tag to posts if the person uploading it didn't include enough tags of their own.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

It doesn't?

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

I think I'd know given that it has happened to me plenty of times. And I know I'm not the only one it happens to, because I have seen people discuss this very thing several times over the years after the tag was automatically added to posts where it clearly wasn't appropriate.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

And I was just DVd for saying that I didn't add it.

Go boys, I guess?

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

**BOTS

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Many people are willfully ignorant and get upset if anything doesn't neatly fit within their narrow view of how things are supposed to be. Because to them acknowledging they were wrong or made a mistake feels like persecution. In that regard they are little different from bigots who are scared of anything they don't understand and label anything different from themselves as "evil" to justify their hatred of it and unwillingness to learn about it so that it no longer scares them.

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0