Every morning and night I send my adult kids a handful of funny & uplifting memes, dad jokes, warnings about cats, advice, words of encouragement, a theme song of the day, and weird shit. Here’s 50 of the top of the sent pile. Enjoy.
273
27
12731
Every morning and night I send my adult kids a handful of funny & uplifting memes, dad jokes, warnings about cats, advice, words of encouragement, a theme song of the day, and weird shit. Here’s 50 of the top of the sent pile. Enjoy.
268
28
12205
Many of you know that I send dad jokes, puns, and cringe to my adult kids daily. I’ve been very busy to farm my own. Hook a brother up? Post yours below! Good, bad, cringe: I’ll take ‘em all!
248
17
10780
A Fish Aunt
10
12
1032
Bake-awry
14
6
938
In the morning, the executioner reads his newspaper and eats breakfast. Then he looks at his watch and says to his wife: "Alright, it's time to head off."
361
10
17106
I survived a fall without a parachute - I've also survived a winter, spring and summer without one, too.
339
26
18805
Stupid jokes made so much funnier by celebrities
868
66
310117
Useless bug.
32
4
6439
Why can chickens only make one sound? They can't think outside the bawks!
445
4
19494
I love archery - But there are a lot of drawbacks!
366
14
20556
Has it already happened
12
4
801
Commitment
240
13
16468
What do you call an Irishman who bounces off walls? Rick O’Shea
480
6
21873
Remember the Kool-aid man from the 90’s? He played baseball. He was the pitcher.
681
11
27371
If a tomb is pronounced "toom" and a womb is pronounced "woom," why isn't a bomb pronounced "boom?"
436
26
19695
I can finally die a legend on an app nobody has ever heard of, let alone even knows how to pronounce.
902
101
172613
Only 210 Totally Fake Internet Points™ away from dad's approval
557
24
23233
They say birds of a feather stick together, but do you know which birds really stick together? Velcrows.
355
4
1665
Remember when botox used to be kinda taboo? Now nobody even raises an eyebrow.
557
34
23392
The sweater my wife gave me was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it. They gave me another one, free of charge.
858
19
30946
My friend was sad because he didn't know the lyrics to YMCA. I said young man, there's no need to feel down...
692
24
26020
How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Trump says he already did it and they all stand there clapping in the dark.
635
29
24223
It hurts me to say this: I have a sore throat.
394
7
18729
My wife keeps blowing everything out of proportion - It's ruining my balloon animal business!
301
15
19654
My wife gave me an ultimatum: It's either her, or my addiction to sweets - The decision was a piece of cake.
340
15
17387
Canoe
641
74
155005
Ryan Ray Comedy Episode 2 Animal Bugaloo
2
1
13979
Dad jokes
37
5
1342
Dad Mechanic
29
7
22531
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences goes largely unnoticed.
426
12
16941
Every morning and night I send my adult kids a handful of funny & uplifting memes, dad jokes, warnings about cats, advice, words of encouragement, a theme song of the day, and weird shit. Here’s 50 of the top of the sent pile. Enjoy.
1452
106
307337
Dystopian novels are so 1984
868
38
31510
What's Whitney Huston's favorite type of coordination? HAAAAAAND EYEEEEEE...!
468
7
21875
My wife called to tell me she saw a bear on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work? She hung up on me.
452
12
20871
My stoner friends had a nasty divorce - They're still fighting over joint custody.
505
20
23041
What do you call a pessimistic horse? A neigh-sayer!
451
17
22726
I saw my high school statistics teacher at the mall yesterday - What are the odds?
561
16
21613
I cross-bred cauliflower with watermelon and now I have an overwhelming sense of meloncauli...
442
13
18610
Faster than a calculator
38
2
1291
Went to the doctor with a suspicious looking mole - He said they all look like that and I should have left him in the garden.
343
8
17268
Dad jokes
43
4
1302
Every morning and night I send my adult kids a handful of funny & uplifting memes, dad jokes, warnings about cats, advice, words of encouragement, a theme song of the day, and weird shit. Here’s 50 of the top of the sent pile. Enjoy.
521
57
28798
A nun on a run
31
10
8959
Dad Energy.
216
24
14646
Iron Courtain Call
34
7
1321
Every morning and night I send my adult kids a handful of funny & uplifting memes, dad jokes, warnings about cats, etc. Hey! Great news! My older son and his partner are now engaged!!!! Happy Dad! Whee!
419
16
21599
Warp Speed: GO!
310
35
16849
Criminal mastermind.
688
23
21261
DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM doomy doom-doom-doom
34
5
890
Dad jokes 2 - he has a hard time not losing it himself
523
15
481023
Dad jokes, but the family reactions are the true winners here
1253
23
738898
My friend has a DeLorean - He only drives it from time to time.
593
13
24581
Since my girlfriend started working at the grease factory, it’s been really hard trying to get hold of her.
533
7
20944
I once was arrested for identity theft. I was a different person back then.
468
13
20015
Resurrecting this gem
30
2
10062
Dad jokes are how eye roll....
28
3
1081
My friend has been engaged over 5 times but never married. That's a lot of near Mrs.
561
16
20151
What’s the most common name for a librarian? Paige Turner!
434
16
19877
I've been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it's better than sitting around doing nothing!
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18
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