dingle2dingus
100186
3125
86
if no one has told you lately ur doing great
BoopedYourSnoot
Took me forever to realize the kids in the Barney comic are dressed like the original Jurassic Park characters.
UnitsToNesquikGuy
Bank account is -$3.50?! Someone been paying that Loch Ness Monster! No wonder he keep coming back.
RenewableKieran
As a motorcyclist that chicken strip one had me very confused
ProxyPlayerHD
funnman
Nice to feet you
maliciousGman
Captainplanetmotherfucker
#7 I ordered a pin 2 weeks ago and it's still in China, Shanghi to be exact. Yet it will arrive at my house within the next 2 to 3 hours.
DCzombie
Ha! Butt Drugs in Corydon, IN
petgamer18
nice
malachilenomade
Dear God, the brutalization of the English language...
ProbablyHolly
hushinstuff
Thank you for this.
BishlamekGurpgork
We here use the whole ass.
geojustin
#26 this is my kids
Zappers42
How do people keep texting the wrong number? Do you put in the number every time? Have you never set your contacts?
3Davideo
#26 I wish my cat *did* tear up the furniture. It'd save us all from having to cathandle her to trim her claws.
MoonieDutchie
"accidentally" took to much medication...
ItsActuallyDavidNow
B-b-b-Butt Drugs!
RandomBrainThoughts
Ha Ha Ha! Wheeeee!!!
Sarpedan
#39 well, there go my plans for the night
Leafus
In Alien's defense there was a literal conspiracy with the company
Dracongield
It was company policy to not listen to the smart woman
yeaaadude
Thank you
Rakragul
huhu
NeedtofavouritetheseWallpapers
Shenaningans are fine as long as they are within legal limits.
ExoCyberBit
#10 It's just Maurice
tomixx1199
nice to feet you
GeneralBadger
can someone confirm those 50 shades quotes for me
kheltan
Was just coming to ask for the same thing. Cuz I don't want those books in my brain.
soban
I will admit that I read the books to see why it was so popular but I can honestly say I don't remember it being that poorly written 1/2
soban
grammatically speaking. I do think it does a poor job of representing that lifestyle, though. 2/2
BishlamekGurpgork
It sure was poorly written, but not THAT poorly.
in70x
I’m sorry but I’m yet to meet anyone who cares that someone has a tattoo..
WaveMotionGum
They have mostly died off. They would be in their 90s now.
in70x
True true
Snooj
Fun fact: "Ozzy" is just a nickname for the name "Osborne". His real name is Osborne Osbourne.
ACompletelyDifferentRobot
It's more of an alternative fact, really.
Snooj
Alternative facts are just facts that aren't facts yet.
ACompletelyDifferentRobot
Are you a whovian? Because you seem to be paraphrasing a quote by Chris Boucher.
Snooj
I am absolutely a Whovian although I never made it past McCoy and as far as I know the quote is my own.
ACompletelyDifferentRobot
Chris Boucher wrote the Fourth Doctor: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/54420-fourth-doctor-you-know-the-very-powerful-and-the-very
SamanosukeOnimusha
realdale
Can a white person post this? Let's get out the N word law book
jumpoff69
Why don't I...stretch out!
thekeyofe
Fuck yo couch!
SmokyDoggg
I'm Rick James, bitch
WizardHarryDresden
That 50 shades one can't be real right? I mean I'm 99% sure it can't be but...
sapereaude2
I had this exact reaction.
fluffleupagus
No, they're not from the books. But there really are some awful lines in them. "'Aargh!' I moan. . ." is one.
ThePunishersVengefulBrother
No, Christian licked HER eyebrow.
cptdickhead
Simple typo, easy mistake
geop1978
I asked my wife because she read the books and she looked me dead in the eye & said “seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
hiyesthisissatan
.... So? Was it in the book?
geop1978
I’m assuming not lol
ProfessionalTwatWaffle
I read the books and although it may not be in those exact words...it's very close. Made me choke on my own spit.