huntsnhava40
101109
2975
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Aug 24, 2021 3:24 PM
huntsnhava40
101109
2975
116
cryborg
ADHD kids are just bad kids who need to be punished til they shape up. /S Sadly, teachers used to say stuff like that about my brother.
swedishpancakeswithlingonberries
Wait until he finds out work does not go out of their way to make what you do 'interesting'
Mantisfly
IMO one is the outside and the other is the inside view. However to recognize sth in your child, the outside view is more important.
ArcaneConjecture
@OP says that his experience doesn't match the DSM. Well, maybe he doesn't actually have ADHD?
positronic
A lot of the terms in quotes, "appropriate", "as expected" are things that take other people into account. Part of being in a society.
GiuseppeW
This person likely doesn't have ADHD, they sound self diagnosed
NateintheNorth
I am quite lucky that school is one of the things my brain found interesting.
JustSomePersonThere
Quit romanticizing it. It’s a condition that needs to be treated, not a personality that must be accepted.
lukas9356
Uh yeah. Adhd doesnt have concrete symptoms. It differs from person to person, probably alpt since we dont know what causes it.
SilverNicktail
You don't have to meet every single one, but there are criteria common to the condition.
OverwhelmingSurplusOfDiggity
Wow, this is great example of why the DSM is for trained experts, not laymen. This is mostly dumb.
Evanrudeplz
Disputing diagnostic criteria with anecdotes, and then romanticizing it (even blaming others) is little dick energy.
TyrTheTired
Not that familiar with the DSM-V. Do other entries speak to the person's direct experience? Also, this is a bit of a case study, which /2
TyrTheTired
hurts the scalability, since not all mental differences are going to present the same way. Then again, I hear the DSM is on its way out...
beaudswell
They do not. They are meant to be used as guidelines by professionals who are qualified to diagnose (depends on where you live).
Jesuspokemon56
20. Drags a conversation to ungodly levels. Making This unreadable to ADHD people.
DarthDrizzt42
God this ADHD special snowflake shit pisses me off (as a person with ADHD). doctors need a set of externally identifiable criteria, right?
Terramotus
The point is that most problems are diagnosed by how they inconvenience YOU, but ADHD is diagnosed primarily on the experience of others.
VodkaReindeer
Careful mistake is when you don't know something. Careless is when you know but forget to apply the knowledge.
bottledham
As an ADHD -- I couldn't concentrate long enough to read this.
FurbyDemon
Yuuup
Valkor
i had always had my suspicions but after stumbling on adhd_alien's stuff and doing some research,, yeah.
DarkerSavant
Who is that?
sunyudai
http://adhd-alien.com/ - comics about ADHD.
Foxsayy
Still get it diagnosed by a competent professional. There are quite a few things that can mimic ADHD symptoms
Valkor
already done and did. the various tests for the differential diagnosis were Not Fun.
hugemuffin
Plus ADHD doesn't always ride solo and there may be other issues that require treatment as well. Disentangling all that is not for newbies
UmmonPrime
My wife has undiagnosed ADHD and she basically told me it doesn't feel like she has control of her own life to the point she doesn't feel
Foxsayy
Is she going to see a psychiatric doctor about it?
UmmonPrime
I asked her to but she decided to leave me instead cause this isn’t her life…
Leinfors
A careless mistake is when you make an error you knew better than, but just didn't notice. A regular mistake is when you are just wrong.
Leinfors
For example, forgetting to put punctuation in a sentence, or making a "typo" equivalent spelling error on a word you know how to spell.
Leinfors
As someone who was probably falsely diagnosed with ADHD, careless mistakes are definitely a thing, and usually just absent-minded errors.
venomlash
I mean, if you're trying to diagnose a young child it makes sense to look for these things because they're what parents and teachers tend to
venomlash
notice. A six-year-old won't be able to explain in a concrete way how it feels to have ADHD because kids don't have the vocabulary for it.
venomlash
For adults, obviously, there need to be different criteria.
wababooba
1) You don’t need to have all of the listed symptoms 2) He misunderstands a lot of how it actually is meant 3) 3) he might have a wrong
wababooba
diagnosis if he doesn’t fulfill some of the main criteria
valinnut
I agree, but the careful mistake. a careless mistake is when you know better."careful mistake" is when despite your best effort do not know.
00bix
There are two 9th items in the list. Which is the archetype of a careless mistake. Which made me chuckle.
ArcaneConjecture
Exactly. 3/5 + 1/5 = 45 is a careless mistake. 3/5 + 1/5 = 4/10 is a different sort of mistake, it means you don't understand fractions.
idontenglishsorry
what if instead of 4/10 i get 5/7, is it a perfect result, then?
OverwhelmingSurplusOfDiggity
I’m seriously triggered by this stupid post. Careful mistakes are completely real things.
tomb818
Still remember my middle school teacher comment in my file: "Brilliant but ineffectual due to lack of focus"
SenfinaZeit
"Knows the answers but often blurts" "smart but often blurts" "blurts" - basically every teachers review my entire school career
NotTinyPancakes
Ah reminded me of mine "intelligent girl but doesn't play well with others or apply herself when she should"
tomb818
How's that possible, I haven't seen you at the meeting! :)
GreatOdinsTaint
This one person seems to think that because their individual experience of ADHD doesn't match up with criteria meant to capture...
GreatOdinsTaint
...the broad and highly variable experiences of tons of others with ADHD that this means the criteria are somehow "wrong"...
GreatOdinsTaint
The DSM is a guideline for people with years of clinical training and experience with many patients over those years.
GreatOdinsTaint
They have forgotten that their anecdotal evidence 1) doesn trump science and 2) that other people with ADHD exist and are different.
SenfinaZeit
Also isn't this only the criterion for adhd A? They didn't even show the adhd B criterion.
CandidGamera
Now now, if this person sees the horizon is a straight line, who are you NEUROTYPICAL to tell them the earth is round?
GreatOdinsTaint
I'm a professional in the field and have ADHD myself and I really dislike this whole "Neuro typical/divergent" thing TBH...
OldsterBabe
The doc who diagnosed ADHD in my son said something brilliant. "It's not a deficit of attention, it's TOO MUCH attention. Your job as a >
OldsterBabe
Parent is to steer him toward a career choice where his attention to detail will be an asset. Example: he would be an amazing air traffic >
OldsterBabe
Controller, because he'd know where every plane in that sky is, but you DON'T want him flying the plane." Great statement, as in both jobs >
Foxsayy
I could manage the flying but I feel like I'd get so distracted as an air traffic controller
bromanbro
disagree, from personal experience, anything with a combination of high pressure and an overwhelming number of details can cause problems.
bromanbro
attention to detail is not enough, you need to be able to see the big picture in both scenarios. what jobs are suited depends on the person.
bromanbro
not saying your son can't do either, but i just don't think most people's analogies for how ADHD works are accurate.
OldsterBabe
The lives of hundreds of people are in your hands, but they require completely different skill sets. People with ADHD have amazing skills.
Dagordae
Too bad one of the big issues is coping with pressure and prioritizing. You know, vital skills for air traffic controllers. Tunnel vision,
Dagordae
One of the most common symptoms, is a BAD thing.
goodbyeitwasfunwhileitlasted
Thanks for reminding me that I need to get my prescription refilled. I have been telling myself I was going to for about 3 weeks now and
hirosjimma
Try the app medisafe. It has a refill reminder, and obnoxiously good reminders to take your pills. Added bonus: you won't have to question
hirosjimma
"Did I remember to take my medication?" Cuz you can just check your phone.
Ulthirm
Yeah don't worry, I forgot to do that last December after I got COVID and now its been so long I really don't have the mental effort to
Ulthirm
call into the doctor and explain why its been so long.
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Hah, you and me both
andychristman2000
My phone has alerts for this , I also have alerts for my alerts 30 minutes later in case I get side tracked.
hcysnc
That is genius. I need to start doing that.
goodbyeitwasfunwhileitlasted
I have tried that and it has had a little success, but I'm a prowhen it comes to thinking "I'll take care of that in a moment" and then not.
BsyFcsin
How do you feel without medication? My youngest has ADHD and high functioning autism. We tried medication but stopped because all he did 1/2
BsyFcsin
2/2 was sleep and didn’t want to eat. He was so miserable we couldn’t bare it anymore so stopped giving it to him.
Ulthirm
Heh sounds like my reaction to Latuda. Those studies were such bullshit, having had to suffer through one, that said they helped with ASD
Ulthirm
and ADHD. They didn't actually take input from the children, just the adult caretakers. Giving a false sense of impact. Consult again with
Ulthirm
your doctor about finding an alternative medication, as there are MANY out there since we really don't understand the brain very well.
goodbyeitwasfunwhileitlasted
What did you have him on? When I was on Stratera, I got dizzy while driving and sometimes nauseated. When I switched to Adderall XR it was
BsyFcsin
Equasym XL was what he was prescribed. Been over two years since we last gave it to him.
goodbyeitwasfunwhileitlasted
Nowhere near as bad. I get insomnia a little more now, but I've always had trouble falling asleep. It has had no other adverse effects on me
SerenePrincess013
Found out I was allergic to Stratera, & the old doc refused to listen to me when I kept telling him it was making me sick after taking it.
goodbyeitwasfunwhileitlasted
Never got around to it because I had to organize the snacks in my desk or find the beard hair that won't quit tickling my nose.
uberpwnagecartman
I feel like I know you already! Nice
airen
I really wish I had Ritalin or something just so I can focus in meeting, I cant stay attentive n often have to rewatch recordings like 10x
FreddThundersen
And each time you rewatch, somehow, you pay even less attention to it than the previous time? :/
airen
Basically
Cheechamarie
I always feel like this but I dont know if I have it.
uponstrangeshores
Wow I really need to go and see a specialist.
celestedrake
The more I hear about ADHD, the more I realize my entire maternal line has it… Though not as much as some people I know as diagnosed(1)
celestedrake
with it, which could have been throwing me off.(2)
Barkinsons
I get that feeling every time I see a post about it, then I CBA to follow through. See ya next week
PlaidBastard
Life in modern society is inherently traumatic. Neurologically average people benefit from talking through trauma. Ergo, EVERYONE benefits.
PlaidBastard
If you're not neurotypical? Good news! We DEFINITELY benefit from having a second, trained-to-be-objective brain to work things out with.
Askan231
Please do. Got on meds 6 months ago, Best thing that ever happened to me.
huntsnhava40
Same, seriously, I can DO THE THING! Not all the time, but fucking sometimes!
Misora
I want to but I'm also trying to conceive and a lot of medicine isn't recommended during pregnancy. And I don't want to start something only
Misora
to have to drop off of it in a few months. Coping skills I have and they mostly work but COVID has broken so many of them.
huntsnhava40
That's another big reason I went in. All my coping skills were gone and I hadn't masked in months, I knew something was awry
uberpwnagecartman
Pediatrician said it nicely, we all have a spotlight to shine on things (attention) and your spotlight is very bright, but it has a slightly
MyCommentsUsuallyHaveTypos
When explained how the Twitter poster did, I checked every single box.
UncleGearjammer
Same, it explains a lot in my life too... I'm thinking I may need to see a shrink or something
Noctourn
Yeah my ADHD goals are 1. Get them focussed into the task 2. Stop the other asshats from distracting them the second I've done that. Repeat
NarratesTheDarkerStory
That's nice. 2.5 decades ago my pediatrician asked "do you have trouble paying attention to your teacher?" I said no and have been drugged¹
NarratesTheDarkerStory
ever since. basically my mom told him "My son has ADD." and that was enough
Qualtagh
At least ADHD drugs aren't too unpleasant.
ATLandNerdy
Just because some morons voluntarily take them, doesn't mean the rest of us want to, even when we "should".
Qualtagh
I mean they don't have as risky nor debilitating of side effects as some prescriptions.
Askan231
Not really true…
NarratesTheDarkerStory
I will say I hate myself when not on Adderall. so hard to function. I can't even sit and play videogames really. just wish 25 years ago ¹
uberpwnagecartman
Different motor than many others, making the spotlight very hard to move (obsessing) or very hard to keep still on what you are expected to
uberpwnagecartman
(Focus). All of our spotlights drift or stick, but it's more difficult for you to exert control over the motor. It really helped me
uberpwnagecartman
Understand my kid and how he can be his best self. His path will be different than mine, but still "good"
raysons
Hell ya, this is awesome! So is @op's post.
uberpwnagecartman
I'm sure some will hate it for whatever reason, but it really helped me not see it as a choice or willpower issue.
KaiserWilhelmII
I like this analogy. I always describe my ADHD as a list of priorities, and I need to be doing the #1 spot on the list. 1/2
bangonthedrumsallday
.
KaiserWilhelmII
The #1 slot can sometimes stay there for hours or days if I’m interested, or it can jump and switch around frequently or randomly if not.
Foxsayy
1/2 The best explanation I've heard yet is 1: it's better described as an executive function disorder, & that can manifest in different ways
Foxsayy
2/2 #2: trying direct your focus is like playing a game where you're mashing your ability keys but get the "that skill is on cooldown" msg
PlaidBastard
If anyone had expressed it like that to me ~25 years ago, when I was a goddamned 8-year-old, I'd probably have tenure instead of anxiety....
Foxsayy
Living with it kinda beats the life out you doesn't it?
ThatMoustachio
This sentence made me cry. I needed to read it. Thank you.
KatieIsALady
Especially when everyone just calls it lazy. Like, you can't exactly refute it using evidence that they could perceive right then. So
KatieIsALady
You start to think "ah, maybe I am just lazy." But no matter how much you try it doesnt change so maybe Lazy is just who you are.
PlaidBastard
Living with it, not knowing it, and blaming yourself for all of it until you're 33 is the fuckin' pits, lemme tell you.
RunsNakedThroughSwamps
It's awful. Things could've been so much better
ThatMoustachio
Is 33 the magic number for that? Mine was 33,too.
SilverNicktail
As someone diagnosed with ADHD, a lot of this dude's attitude is honestly pretty stupid.
TychoTychoAlba
He sounds exhausting. And not because he has ADHD.
SigilLovesSpace
Agreed. Dude is just using specifically HIMSELF as the basis for everything.
SilverNicktail
These are diagnostic criteria. You don't have to meet every single one. Also, there are different types of ADHD.
SilverNicktail
You don't have issues with number 5? Congratufuckinglations. Some of us are fucking crippled by it.
bromanbro
amen
SenfinaZeit
I can't organize using a to-do list because I forget to check my to do list. Coping is an uphill battle in every way.
SilverNicktail
Yeah similar here. I can make a plan that starts with step 1 and follow it, IF I can get to step 1 in the first place.
BaronVonClicker
What if it was a shorter list? My hubby will memorize 3 items and get those done. Not a big list. Then I update the list for next day.
SenfinaZeit
I'd still forget to check it. I'll also ignore reminders on my phone by accident. Or forget what I was supposed to do before I do it.
SilverNicktail
The list itself isn't the issue, it's remembering the list, getting over the executive dysfunction to start the list, etc.
Antrazit
As a fellow ADD weirdo, a lot of this is kinda romanticizing it. I get the sentiment, but this person sounds like he thinks his way of
Askan231
This
Iamnotwatchingporn
ADHD is largely romanticized these days and unfortunately has so many people self diagnosing.
SpaceSpeed
Are you saying one person, expressing individual experience with ADHD might have a narrower perspective than DSM-V diagnostic criteria? /s
Traja01
As a fellow person with adhd, agreed.
OverwhelmingSurplusOfDiggity
Yeah, these tweets totally misunderstand what the DSM is for, and he’s clearly unqualified to use it as a diagnostic tool.
otiumCatulli
He's like YOU didn't make it interesting and it's like look the minimum wage teacher with thirty kids can't just look after special you
ordomalleus61337
Seriously as the husband to a teacher they can be Incredibly disruptive of others education and you're basically not allowed to complain.
RunanD
Or we could not throw these people away like trash, and work on programs to help them instead of shoving them in with neurotyps...1
RunanD
but of course that's impossible, right? We would probably have to tax billionaires in order to do that. 2/2
otiumCatulli
Yeah we should put so much more money into education
mastertang
With the rising numbers of diagnoses, do you think maybe we should adapt to teach those with ADHD and maybe remove the term disorder
otiumCatulli
Apart from we should pay teachers a ton more and reduce class sizes, I do not have an educator experience and do not have an opinion
encrypteddecryption
Idk? Seems a bit full of himself, sure, but makes good points and is really, I think, seeking not to be invalidated or misunderstood.
OverwhelmingSurplusOfDiggity
No, he’s pretending to be an expert cuz he has adhd. Talk to a real expert. Having a heart attack doesn’t make you a cardiologist.
mullinsmark007
A heart attack is lousy comparison. ADHD is a life long condition. People with long term conditions tend to know more about them than ->
mullinsmark007
someone with a condition or illness that doesn't typically present til late in life. Are they specialist? Hell no. But you can't right them
mullinsmark007
off as if they know nothing. The problem with ADHD is nearly all aspects are seen as flaw that needs to be curbed when in actuality it's
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
They describe it as being better or more intelligent and its not. It's just different. And definitely has flaws.
icantspellsrry
You are more intelligent in SOME ways. He didn't say you are superior
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
I don't have add.
Dagordae
Yeah, it doesn’t do that either. ADHD has no bearing on intelligence.
Gyinagal
Iirc there IS some correlation between between being neurodivergent and being a little smarter than the average bear
icantspellsrry
Sometimes I aquire more knowledge cause I'm hyperfocused...and sometimes I cannot because it's too damn booring
icantspellsrry
the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills. By definition if I have an attention deficit it affects my ability to aquire knowledg
Foxsayy
Some of it I see as legitimate, others yeah, we gotta live in a society.
CangodCreateAStoneItCannotLift
I expect society to adapt to me.
Foxsayy
With that attitude I expect society to crush you into the gutter.
ordomalleus61337
Thats a terrible attitude. Youre not special.
IamNotAshamed
Yeah he is and so is everybody else with self worth.
CangodCreateAStoneItCannotLift
Indeed, nobody or everyone is equally special.
ordomalleus61337
None of you are. Just another blip.
Noctourn
Yeah, as a teacher with ADHD, kids need to learn to manage it and still function, even if not ideally, and speak up about supports that help
Beezlebubble
ADHD kid here. I learned to cope in school well enough to not be a distraction. What helped was being smart enough that I could zone out and
Noctourn
As an ADHD kid, same. But I got put in a gifted program. The fast pace gets you focused and keeps the hyper focus
Beezlebubble
Not fall behind. I never felt challenged though and it bored me. I got depressed and angry as I got older due to stimulation flux constantly
Beezlebubble
Plus the bullying from the girls in school (am a boy)
Antrazit
Interacting innately deserves to be respected and tolerated, which it doesn’t. Some of these are clearly flaws, and are fair to be described
Dashirl
Strongly disagree with your overall outlook here. They are only flaws if we expected to be the same as neurotypicals. I find all my ADHD ...
Dashirl
"Flaws" to be the strengths behind all of my life's successes. We aren't flawed or wrong, we have superpowers that other people don't...
Dashirl
Understand. I've made it the backbone of my career, and I have been successful because of my ADHD, not in spite of it.
LinkHouseMan
Quoting the words "expected" and "appropriate" made it seem as if they believed being disruptive if fine in all situations.
minuteye
1/ I interpret his objection as being more about the way the diagnostic criteria are focused on how symptoms impact *others*, which is
minuteye
2/ really counter to how mental disorders are supposed to be classified (i.e. traits rise to the level of "disorder" when they result in
minuteye
3/ a severe negative impact on the patient's life... not the life of their parents/teachers). I get that they're framed that way because
minuteye
4/ the focus is on diagnosing children (who are bad at self-describing), but it comes across as yet another message that the problem is not
SilverNicktail
Yeah that part got me. "Why are they describing the symptoms of my condition as flaws??" You're reading diagnostic criteria, dude.
Iamnotwatchingporn
Literally cannot diagnose without validating it as "disordered" just like someone can have anxiety without an anxiety disorder
Corrodias
They're disorder flaws, not "personality flaws".
Antrazit
As such, and having ADD means it’s your responsibility to find the best ways you can to deal with it when it’s being a hindrance to yourself
icantspellsrry
He isn't saying don't take responsibility he's saying we beat ourselves up for years and so do the people around us and it's not OK.
CarlottaVonSprockett
But if the child doesn’t know they have ADHD? I spent almost 49 yrs thinking I was a worthless piece of shit bc I couldn’t focus or pay /1
CarlottaVonSprockett
attention the way people wanted me to. All because I was misdiagnosed as a child and didn’t get the treatment or care I needed. I think /2
CarlottaVonSprockett
people shouldn’t be so quick to say “Neurally atypical people have a responsibility to fit it” unless society makes it so that they get /3
Antrazit
Or others. I agree that we should move away from looking at it as an illness rather than a personality trait, and then it becomes even
Glustix
Calling it as a medical condition's fair in my opinion. Just like nearsighted, etc. Yes, it's a bother to daily life, but it shouldn't be /
Glustix
stigmatized. Im an ADD myself, have been off med for a year now. Hooray!
Antrazit
More obvious that dealing with it is on you.
RunanD
I don't think anyone would say that to a more traditionally disabled person, ie someone in a wheelchair. Come on, "it's all on you" 1/?
Antrazit
Also, most people experience most of these sometimes, so the line isn’t precise
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
I agree with you, and what's more, these symptoms are for identification and diagnosis. As in, it will be mostly people who don't have /1
Qualtagh
Eh, I've found some real strengths by working WITH some of my symptoms rather than against them. And that requires being able to look at 1/2