Kleinstlebewesen
452489
16026
243
Sep 1, 2015 7:00 PM
Kleinstlebewesen
452489
16026
243
twentyfourcharacterslong
As an american who loves his food, fuck nutella.
ArtieFowl
I stopped at the part where i needed Nutella and just ate it straight from the jar...
Ebalmatronic
Walter Brimley is rolling is his grave lookin for his Diebeetus supplies just looking at this
ColinG1
if you want to watch it as a video, here is sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvUfYWFZCd4
CharlieImPregnantLivinOn9thStAboveaDirtyBookstoreOffEuclidAve
Sigh. *unbuckles*
Alighierian
don't forget you need to unbuckle IN GERMAN
ThinlyVeiledFront
Need to bust a nutella?
kailurisu
I HAAAAAAAAATE NUTELLA! Id just once like to see a neat pastry treat not involving (IMO) Crappy Nutella crap/
slagath0r
try it with cinnamon sugar and raisins, or jam with nuts, either one works pretty great
AoifeC
I made this but with mincemeat instead of nutella for Christmas. It was eaten before I could taste it.
goddamngenius
Du. Du brauchst. Du brauchst mehl.
Caralala
Sauce to video?
kerosin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvUfYWFZCd4
90265
Can't wait to see people "nailing it."
chocolateraptor
its actually quite easy :)
JackieDaytonaRealHumanBartender
I don't have a TEIGROLLER!!
friesandkittens
In my hood we call zis a NUDELHOLZ. It holzes Nudels.
Kleinstlebewesen
*parts* sorry for the typo.
somegeek
Upvote proper spelling.
narfnas
Thanks for not asking for any nudse.
JSmith90
That was my favorite patr.
LifeDoctor
Me oto
ZebraCockSandwich
as someone who doesnt particularly like hazelnut, 10/10 would make cinnamon rolls this way.
oftenfrequentlyonlyonce
*Approx. 350 F
wilson1helpme
I've actually made this before but it didn't cook very thoroughly and the middle was very doughy. Still ate it, no regrets.
Tinyplasticmeat
http://imgur.com/lyHaefs
Kleinstlebewesen
that is beautifuk!!
Boooooooooognish
Du. Dubraucht. Dubraucht mich.
MoreAirplanes
Angry, german cooking. (New Youtube series, anyone?)
Papagenius
I think I just got a food boner
JSmith90
Go get yourself a ham wallet
DiirtMcGiirt
Tip: buy frozen puff pastry, you know you're not making dough this weekend. 2nd tip: remember to defrost it
chocolateraptor
noooo. I have made this brioche. It needs to be made from scratch or it wont taste as good.
DiirtMcGiirt
But it's got Nutella so it's already not from scratch :-p
picklestheplatypus
If you fully defrost puff pastry it won't puff correctly. It's meant to be baked very cold so the butter turns to steam quickly, making puff
slagath0r
you know your shit
kishinlemming
They didn't use puff pastry, though. This one requires yeast.
DiirtMcGiirt
It doesn't require it. If you prefer it, by all means..but puff pastry will work.
anuenue
It does say yeast dough, but I'm pretty sure puff pastry would work just as well. Would probably give you a might lighter pastry, too.
AlaSnackbar
Frozen puff pastry is awsome. Versatile and delicious
beeratius
I make brownies and muffins and cookies in my spare time fairly often. Sometimes cakes. Don't tell me what to do!
DiirtMcGiirt
Fine !! :p
beeratius
I'm also going to be making cake pops today out of leftover brownies, mascarpone, nutella, and melted dark and white chocolate :D
beeratius
Although, now I also want to soak a few in coffee.... hmmm
heartinlandslide
Marry me!
slagath0r
right now, in this moment, reading your comment, i both want to be your friend, and hate you.
beeratius
you are now my sworn FRENEMY
LaPlumeDeMaTaint
I don't like Nutella. I prefer raisins over chocolate chips in cookies. I just might be the anti-christ.
TheBengalKatLady
Satan?
lysithean
Self-aware anti-Christ
droomph
I kinda think they're decent too. It's just…the betrayal…
AshtaMonogue
Its ok bro. I hate Nutella and chocolate. My friends all think I'm insane.
pixarpizza
It's okay dude. I've never tried nutella.
AuntSharron
This would be a pretty legit confession bear
slagath0r
indeed
TooLazyToDoSomethingElse
People post this is user sub all the time. The nutella nutjobs remind of kids who would rather eat candy than food.
AuntSharron
I meant the raisins. Who the fuck would choose the empty, soulless husk of a grape over chocolate?
TooLazyToDoSomethingElse
Did you read what he typed he likes raisins over nutella, because nutella is overrated and is just chocolate sauce w/ hazelnut aftertaste.
AuntSharron
No, that's not what he typed at all but thanks for playing.
naturesfool
Has anybody actually tried this? Does it taste nice? I feel like it looks like it would be a bit..dry.
Tinyplasticmeat
I used a different recipe for the bread part, and Israeli chocolate spread which doesn't have hazelnuts. It's delicious.
chocolateraptor
I've tried it. Made the dough with lemon zest in to break the sweetness. Was moist and perfect!
tonyabottsbudgie
I feel heaps of Nutella on puff pastry would be nice.
frenchtrumpeter
I've done it. Pretty mediocre to be honest. Looks gorgeous, but doesn't taste great imo. I'd try it again with puff pastry though.
CinnamonBunny
We did last weekend. It tastes great and isn't a bit dry. Very chocolately and moist.
R0dent
Nutella star sounds like a euphemism for butthole.
IAmHaunteR
Wiping is hard?
R0dent
Like getting peanut butter out of a shag carpet
IAmHaunteR
Shaving is hard?
SubzeroAK
DU!... DUBRAUCHST!
Iwanttowakeup
I'm glad I wasn't the only one.
CoolKidzSayWhat
Same here
GepanzerterPenner
Just out of sheer interest, do you know any other German bands than Rammstein? Im German and I kinda only see Rammstein or Nena.
InspectorCock
Megaherz
lissielou
Wir hören alle Rammstein und trinken Bier oder Jägermeister
GepanzerterPenner
Du vergisst, dass wir dabei Würste und Brezeln essen.
lissielou
Richtig sorry :D
Cavendishelous
Scorpions ofc
SubzeroAK
Nope. :)
Iwanttowakeup
I like Rammstein, Eisbrecher, and Dark Fortress. Maybe others, those are the ones that come to mind.
GepanzerterPenner
Thank you, now I have to look up Eisbecker and Dark Fortress!
InspectorCock
DUBRAUCHST MICH!!
SubzeroAK
DUBRAUCHST MICH GEFRAGT!
opferanode
...UND ICH HAB MEHL GESAGT!
CISMaleScumLord
All that effort when you only need a jar of Nutella and a spoon.
whalexis
Best comment today...
ThinlyVeiledFront
Spoon? Why would I need a spoon when I have 11 perfectly good fingers?
CISMaleScumLord
Are you from Norfolk by any chance? And I find it easier to get the spoon in the jar!
ThinlyVeiledFront
Hey, that's racist! Also nope.
PTMdragon
wait....what?
ilaughlikethishahaheeheehohohoohoo
His penis
olds97lss
Or hers.
PTMdragon
if you can eat nutilla off your own penis i feel like there are other activities you'd be preoccupied with
KvotheTheRavenNevermore
Read, Scrolled, Came back, Upvoted
Coldshade
seeing that star shaped piece in the middle: http://31.media.tumblr.com/b0fe953992cd3b0452628af9ab2dc694/tumblr_mkfx28RqaF1s9vytro2_400.gif
guantanamobayxx
Fuck you all I think about is his mom dying aldjfa;lkdjsa;lkdjf;alkdsjf
robotmonkeypilot
And the winner gets the center star shaped peace.
rorshocker
Unless everyone else goes to war over it.
coolbeanslooseit
The Alpha.
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
Carrots! Medicinal Carrots! Personal use medicinal carrots. That were in here when I moved in. And I'm holding for a friend.
bigbrother
Yes... the golden star for the special... person.
Jesusberry
bruh
CetaceanResearcher
The ninja piece
nocturnalrob
Peace in our thyme?
dildobiscuit
You mean the chocolate starfish?
HoodsBalls
Gotta have a nice, tall glass of hot dog flavored water to wash down that beast.
maximsk
I'm having a hard time imagining those two flavors rollin' together in my mouth here.
sadger
*piece
robotmonkeypilot
Damnit, usually I'm the one correcting people and now this, my rare mistake and it's on a FP post. Shit.
LeaderBeans
Maybe he didn't have time to finish the sentence and had to leave.
hideakikarate
I don't think there's going to be any fighting once they eat that.
SnarkyScience
The loser gets war.
DrBonerman
If you translate from German to English, don't forget to translate 180°C to 356°F.
Antheon
Most English speakers globally use the metric system, so no need to "translate".
slack3rdav3
Ich liebe dich ;)
Mpchilli
Boom.
zelnoth
or he could you know keep it as the most commonly used system.
Tech3828
Thank you for that, you are precious and appreciated
ThinlyVeiledFront
Instructions unclear. Baked at 180 degrees and everything was dough.
heiriderideran
American*
Kleinstlebewesen
was to lazy, the americans will figure it out
thiscannotpossiblygowrong
Instructions unclear. Dick is undercooked and I got salmonella.
willvasco
You give way too much credit to americans.
Xaldyn
KazadAiMenu
I have to figur it out everytime I watch their recipies. Cups, sticks, fahrenheit, fuckton...
DrBonerman
Now that I have written it, it's not so difficult…
Kleinstlebewesen
indeed. thank you :)
seeingsalty
Jokes on you, my oven has both temperatures! I don't have to figure it out at all! AAAAH HA HA HA HAAA!
bobon123
You know right that "English" is not spoken only, or even mostly, in US? For me °F are banana.
DamnIshouldreallybestudyingrightnow
That's guitar, banana is for length.
imnicetopeopleontheinternet
Okay but how do I make the dough?
TheInnocentCriminal
Publix. $2.70
deignlian
https://sortedfood.com/recipe/8320
L1NS4S4URUS
Croissant roll dough
Hashtagusername
I Sense some disgruntlement in your statement, YOU ARENT LIVING UP TO YOUR USERNAME
plexxyglass
About tree fiddy
IminNewZealandbitches
Usually you can buy pre-made pastry dough at the store :)
OracleForCheap
I've never seen this. I'd still make my own though /shrug.
chinablue
Yeah its only a couple bucks (pie crusts) and that is the part that is the most time consumning to me.
LookAtTheFlowersLizzie
That is exactly the comment I wanted to see. Thank you!
Fachera
What type of pastry? Short crust, puff, sweeten,plain?
Mikaru86
Whatever you like :3
docweird
Sell crack cocaine at the corner of 7th and Elm. That's some serious dough, dude.
ChocolateKake
First you get the bitches, then you get the dough
itstinybutisurecanuseit
Try the biscuit dough they sell at the market.
DuckonQuack007
I believe it is pronounced "Daa D' oowwww"
unresponsivenipples
https://60000miletickettoparis.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/pillsbury_edited-1.jpg
johannataylorgang
3 parts flour, 2 parts shortening, 1 part water and a pinch of salt. this is for pie dough, so add more flour as needed for that consistency
amyrose
Great ratios. (Commenting for later)
slagath0r
any shortening? butter oil margarine?
johannataylorgang
I use crisco, you could use butter. it's easier to work with if frozen, just chop it up then mash with your hands, don't mix too much 1/2
johannataylorgang
or else it won't be flaky 2/2
slagath0r
though! thank you :)
slagath0r
I live in Greece so i don't have crisco, but to be honest i don't have a problem with it not being flaky, i'll try it with frozen butter 1/2
johannataylorgang
Oh awesome! I bet Greece is stunning, ugh. I still haven't traveled outside of the US. But good luck, let me know how it turns out!
Yamasama
If you want to make dough, you must first invent the universe.
Sagethyme
Cheat http://www.puffpastry.com/products
FannyChampionOfTheWorld
Usually one gets a job to afford all the ingredients.
DoctorMama
Clever girl.
FeltMountain
Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
MukieK
you can buy either canned pizza dough by the biscuits, get a couple, or frozen bread dough.
WhiskeyTangoFedora
Step 3. Profit.
yomahnn
But what is step 2!?! Damn you underpants gnomes!!
slagath0r
I'm jealous over how smart that was
FannyChampionOfTheWorld
I shall call you Debbie.
slagath0r
Out of fairness to the others though maybe you should stick to slagathor
Shallok
But I just settled all my lawsuits...
imnicetopeopleontheinternet
Step 1: birth
Burghguy
Let me start at the beginning... My parents were simple people, really...
RahimKalay
Step 0: create the universe
hazanshu
Baking from scratch - Nightmare Mode
ThatsItDanceOff
LOL
stonaaar
Steo 0.5: Conception
RinorZymberi
Step 0.5: have your dad do business with mother
Worgslarg1
Step -1 Drop the base.
spypengen
instructions unclear divided by 0
Repartir
You must first invent the universe.
Lurd
You dough it.
nepomuki
It's a yeast dough. So flour(500g), yeast(10g), water(300 ml). Maybe a teaspoon sugar.
jrblast
Either store bought pastry dough, or any sweet dough recipe should work. Source: I made bread once
elethomel
i dough nut know how to make it either
ninjafartball
You call the recipe center 91-146-5678
Tinyplasticmeat
http://www.handimania.com/cooking/braided-nutella-star-bread-all-steps.html
District9HasFoundTheMechsuit
Looks like pizza dough-- basically, a lot like bread dough, but with a higher gluten content.
uristmcguffin
You don't know how to make dough?
thisismypost
do what i did. use "ready to cook" flower tortillas. the burrito sized ones. works the same. salsa? im a lazy mexican.
thisismypost
or the pilsburry cardboard can things. if you want to roll them urself
DarkerLink
Get a job
ColourMeAngel
This guy, asking the real questions. Haha!
EmzeexD
You buy it. So much easier and co.es in perfect thickness sheets
justalittleone
I use this recipie to make it http://www.thebreadkitchen.com/recipes/nutella-brioche-flower/ ok it says flower but it's the same thing
jimbob1
.
youknowthatonegirl
Commenting for future reference
PewPewLaserUnicorn
comment for things remember stuff thingy
chocolateraptor
that's the one I used :)
ImgurianOfTheNorth
.
moistmouse
<3
mmmmmmShaiHulud
So who the hell calls Brioche dough 'Yeast Dough'?
mouthfuloftoe
Thanks for the link
DidItForScience
Followed the link... noticed I already bookmarked it.
funkoffan
Doing God's / Google's work. Thank you.
lastfire
Sorry, but *flour
NATA5
I think flower is talking about the design or shape of the brioche.
lastfire
That would make sense then, sorry.
NATA5
I didn't get it until I clicked the link either. :)
ChocolateFrostedButts
thank you so much for the link. I showed this to my husband and he pretty much demanded I make it. Hahaha!
spaghettifacebang
Same here.
gouconn11
you shouldn't have spoiled him with your chocolate frosted butt!
ChocolateFrostedButts
Awh, but it's so fun!!!!
PewPewLaserUnicorn
actually doing it for my gf this weekend. never baked befor. gonna be a mess i only hope she likes it.
ChocolateFrostedButts
I'm sure you'll do fine! Let me know how it came out!!
PewPewLaserUnicorn
i try to if i dont forget it. my first time cookng for her went okay, and that was some hard stuff.
mellowdrama
Is it pizza dough??
spenczar
*sighs* *yells in german*
lishplaysgames
Funny reading all this random german as a german. At least you guys are creative :)
haldiram
SCHLOSS!
Lemesplain
I am a jelly donut.
NRubric
- John F. Kennedy June 26th 1963
Kleinstlebewesen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ4BieiVfvk like that?
GothKirby
DO BEST EINE ZIEGE
Imroy
The only German I know is from Rammstein... :P
NRubric
Du. Du hast. Du hast mich. Du hast mich. Du hast mich gefragt. Du hast mich gefragt. Du hast mich gefragt und Ich hab dir Nutella gebracht!
kisselFL
PANZERKAMPFWAGEN SCHADENFREUDE!
ZettaPT
*proceeds to execute fire.exe until out of rounds*
TheCornDogger
SHEISE!
GiveMeAnEggIOweYouOne
LOUD NOISES!!
JoggingWithForks
Ich habe keine zeit here zustehen, Ich muss Kuchen essen! Raus mit Sie!
TheBigRedMachine2213
ALS GREGOR SAMSA EINES MORGEN AUS UNRUHIGAN TRAUMEN ERWACHTE
fforw
unruhigen Träumen / Traeumen
NRubric
Samsas Traum
Cal1te
ICH HABE SAUERKRAUT EINE MIENER LEDERHOSEN!
NRubric
Shaving and shower helps a lot!
ohdangit
*siiiiiiiiigh* *unzips*
ihavenothingtoputhere
ich bin aus mein bratan
icorrectyourgerman
MAHLZEIT!
oforce21o
ICH HABE KEINE ZEIT FUR DIESEN UNSINN
TerribleComment
Die besten Hundekekse Rezepte!!!!
Proletheus
Hundekeksrezepte oder Hundekeks-Rezepte pls
znuter
fucking SCHMETTERLINGS! or something
oforce21o
(I have no time for this non-sense)
oforce21o
...im not actually german i have no idea if its actually correct
GepanzerterPenner
As a German: Haste richtig übersetzt.
oforce21o
Danke!
SKELETONMAAAN
Not a single mistake, good job.
MMAgCh
He missed an umlaut. One mistake made, not up to exacting German standards and therefore actually a completely shoddy job.
oforce21o
i used that phrase a lot back in german class
Jusmar
erm...uh..ICH BIN BERLINER
hellzcat
SIE SIND DAS ESSEN UND WIR SIND DIE JAGER
IrrelevantOpinions
*Yells back in Swiss German*
FriendlySkynet
hueregeil
NotSureAboutThat
*yells in saxon german*
Leijin
*wants to yell with you in austrian german*
thelonepig
*wants to yell also, but doesn't know enough words yet*
TheresAGermanWordForThat
Riiiicola!
emkay443
Gesundheit!
kmikl
*Snorts back in Canadian French*
ZiuS
*Yells back in Austrian German*
madragoran
I did my B1 in German (Goethe Institute exams) during the summer. Swiss German in the listening bit was one of my greatest fears!
kreizdaemlicherlabbeduddel
Swiss German isn't so bad :) was this a scholarship with the Goethe Institut?
madragoran
No The institute's recognized across Europe as the organisation to set up the exams and give out certificates on German language proficiency