Pinkmansbitch
30736
1395
92
Mar 5, 2016 12:07 AM
Pinkmansbitch
30736
1395
92
zma123456
Ya fuckin weapon ya mongo.
combatwombat234
"He's trying to talk to me I swear!"
ClassicSwanson
"Aye Moira yer spot on I'm oan the protien" Fucking Genius. I love Scottish twitter.
WisdomPlaytime
How could a dad think that snowboards are anything like fanny pads?
anglergal
Makes me proud ta be a Scot
sendmeyournoodsplease
What?
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
I feel like Scotland is the place I need to be.
TypicalITGuy
"Arsed caked in shite" - lost it.
Pengarr
I love, too, that his phone (I'm assuming) autocorrected "arse" to "arsed."
imadethisaccountbecauseifailedtoremainanonymousonthefirstone
Do the Scots even speak English, or do they just chew on it?
SilvaticusNatticus
They speak Scots, actually
iAlwaysUpvoteMN
specky
BiggRosie
That's Taylor Swift.
da5hitta
English teachers hate them
TSeventhSon
What does "Aye naebor mystic meg away tae fuck" even mean though?
cinnewyn
'naebor' = 'no bother / worries', Mystic Meg is an astrologer, 'away tae fuck' = 'fuck off'
yeehaww888
These are what I imagine the subtitles to Brave are like.
wildsoapbox
Are these from the trainspotting sequel?
wadeMFNwilson
Need definitions for: specky, naebor mystic meg, fanny pad, mongo, upty work, pished... *sigh*
cinnewyn
'specky' = somone who wears glasses / spectacles, 'naebor' = 'no bother / worries', 'Mystic Meg' is an astrologer, [1]
cinnewyn
[2] 'fanny pad' = sanitary towel, 'mongo' = someone with Downs Syndrome, 'upty' = up to, 'pished' = drunk
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
Rally ho!
ChickWithAnAttitude
Do Scots type everything like they are drunk all the time?
Pekwachnamaykoskwaskwaypinwanik
It's prolly cause they fuckin are mate :/
amadeupname
Ah cannae believe a'body wid sae they dinnae unnerstaun this. Wha disnae think it's tae read?
AmyWooInMyShoe
I once dated a Scottish guy, I only understood about every fifth word he said!
SoundwaveXI
Best fuckin' hauf an 'oor ae yer life am I right?
GregKeen
Everything here should be universally understandable. Except Phil and Holly. UK tv types who presented hungover after an awards ceremony.
SterlingValor
What's specky and why should they be bullied.
GregKeen
Specky. Spectacled. Wearing glasses.
smogswallowssuns
Thanks mate, had a good giggle after I got the joke.
Zombieshark
What is specky?
fakeittilyoumakeit
Also want to know!
lurkinginpublic
Wearing glasses
Jirayya
Being from glasgow, these are the fucking best
Awhiteguy
Do you guys actually spell words like this?
Jirayya
Pretty much, grammar is for the English haha
jamlovingmonster
Not all the time. For jokes or just saying wee things. Nae bother. Bawbag, yer an arsehole. those are dailies :)
cutteroo
No we don't, but if they'd been written in proper English they wouldn't be funny!
justyouraverageaussiegirl
I still remember the day I learnt what a jobby was
jamlovingmonster
'Jobby" is a lovely word. Ya wee Jobby ;)
justyouraverageaussiegirl
I know two brothers and they called each other big jobby and wee jobby & it took me forever to figure it out
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
I'm guessing specky is short for either spectacular or special (sarcastic in context). Can anyone confirm?
pasteurised
It's means wears glasses, spectacles.
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
I was off the mark. Thanks for the info, though. Cheers.
rodgertheshrubber
Weirdest thing - without putting on an accent in my head I actually wouldn't have been able to understand any of these.
Statboy78
Tollbooth Willie (or Willir from the Simpsons) works good here.
WisdomPlaytime
Even after finding the accent I had trouble understanding some. Surely they don't really write this way?! It's just English after all.
boshbishbash
Yes they do. It's just spelling everything phonetically.
CorvusBelli
Yes, we speak English, though with a range of accents. And no, most of us don't write this way except in pursuit of humour.
WhimsicalCalamari
Scots is different enough that there's a different Wikipedia for it. http://sco.wikipedia.org
getthismanabeer
At first I thought that was a troll site... damn.
TravisBickleHasIdeas
You should try reading train spotting.
rodgertheshrubber
I should! And I know I'll enjoy it too.
wadeMFNwilson
Well, is it legal to slide tackle a goth?
madkingryan80
A fuckin wish pal
WoahDomino
'ya mongo' is now my new favorite thing to call someone.
ColonelColostomy
It actually means mongoloid, which is an old fashioned term for someone with Down's syndrome.
WoahDomino
Dammit. Well easy come easy go on that one
ninjamonkeywithtantohandsOLD
I want to use 'Ya fucking weapon' more often.
JoshCanJump
Weapon = Often described as 'offensive' and not to be out in public.
GhostsofMars
Yes!
Quarantinous
But you have to use the accent
Statboy78
Pronounce it "yah foo-king wee-pun"
981Gts
Isnt scottish more like yae fookin way-pum
madkingryan80
"Ya fukin wepun"
ninjamonkeywithtantohandsOLD
Of course, there's no other way you'd pull it off.
ckviper
I'm preferential to the "mongo" comment, myself.
ninjamonkeywithtantohandsOLD
I liked that one too.