Nov 28, 2016 3:43 PM
TheBigH1
537580
14474
962
Saw this in a dump, sadly don't remember where.
AnythingMuchShorter
Plus size can also be tall and big, for example Lucy lawless is a very believable plus size warrior woman.
Catfactory
This is satire from The Stately Harold. They do this for most major games, tv shows, etc.
jasmineelee
The "video game characters with realistic bodies" Crack me up. Trains entire life all day every day but realistic is apparently overweight.
InnerUniverse
Do people aspire to be "plus size"? If not, then it shouldn't matter that fantasy characters aren't fat.
PffftNext
They just want representation! WAAAAAILS
Promethianfire
It's unfair to depict people who do athletic things having athletic figures.
Lemuffinmannn
Plus size doesnt mean fat. In modeling for ladies plus size is actually anything bigger than a stick.
keillrandor
Some top female athletes would probably be considered "plus size" :-/
WeylandAve
The imgur classic of digging through year old minor blog posts to find something to be mad about.
rrlyrae
"spy" with melissa mccarthy was hilarious. she's a plus-sized assassin and pulls it off very well.
AnIntimateGatheringOfCrocodiles
And all the male assassins have been plus size as well?
ISpendTooMuchTimeHereAnywaySoIMightAsWellMakeAnAccoun
Probably satire. But since it's a game, and the assasins perform impossible feats it's not like a buffer woman would ruin immersion
IronicUsername
The article is satire. The full URL is too long but you can find it and ones like it here: http://vindoga.wixsite.com/thestatelyharold
tanuki2k
I was all keen to check out more by clicking on the link.. then I saw they used wix. Nope.
Drake1492
Would a jacked female assassin be plus sized? Like a bruiser?
TheGreatLunchbox
Hey so, not to kill the fun, but this was a satire article on The Stately Harold, same as the "raped by being saved from drowning" chick
THEONEANDONLYJOHNstamos
"Fucking aquatic rape"
bitemark
I would totally play a Ms Trunchbull skin. She kills people by throwing them, or with a sleeper hold, no need for a dagger.
Gorperino
The blacksmith from assassin's creed brotherhood multilayer was my favorite. He was huge but was just as mobile as anyone.
Dilligaffin
Fat Ass-assin
bnuihj
This was a fake post in an "onion" like blog.
HalphPint
Fatassins Creed
skwint
Climb onto a moderately high wall and then jump on the targets head. It saves trying to smuggle weapons through security.
Knovas
Am supposed to be grocery shopping, instead I'm on imgur... laughed too hard at this!! +1
Th0tPatrol
Jesus
jo0nes
JaimeFookinLannister
Fatass-assin's Creed
Darkspire
Yep. She just sits on the targets face to kill them.
TrustyBadmash
Assassins greed
ohiofulcrum
Assassins Feed
johntbonespartan
This is from a satirical news site
nienepientje
There is plus size and plus size. Not all plus is looking like a whale. That's such an awfull thing to say.
blmcdonald
What is "Kek"? I keep seeing it on posts like this
ComplimentGuy
Someone help us.
EternalSunshineOfTheSpotlessMind
(1) From WoW. The two factions (Alliance and Horde) can't communicate in chat. So the chats are run through and in-game translator, so that
(2) it's unreadable to the opposing faction. When typed by the Horde, "lol" is seen as "kek" to the Alliance. tl;dr - "kek" = "lol".
Wow. That's...huh. Alright well thanks!
labellaboobs
They said plus size not obese. Huge difference.
raginglolz
Still, if you've ever even seen the same, there is no chance that anyone capable of doing any part of that game can be "plus sized"
NotAnIroningBoard
Yeah but what they meant and what you meant could be different
LimeMime565
Still. Theyre assassins. They need to be fast and quiet, thus them being as fit as possible is reasonable and needed.
IMpresington
I would be just fine with Pam.
thrymn
Pam could have easily taken out some of the Brute guards. Just lift them in the air, and launch them off a rooftop.
UnsolicitedRichardPicture
Cocaine Pam? That would be excelsior.
Iforgetmyusernameeasily
I want a 500 pound assassin leaping from roof to roof.
JigsawLV
Then go and do it, your 500 pounds are just as good ^^
No I want your 500lb mom to do it, I'm way bellow that whale weight.
If you wanted to go for a yo mama joke, you should have set the bar higher. 1000 pounds. Your blue whale that you call your mom. etc.
IllusivePanda
All I can picture is a sumo wrestler sized man in white hooded robes attempting a leap of faith and the perch he's on just snapping
Attacker732
*Snap!* "FUCK! NOT AGAAaaaaiiiiin-!"
StormWingDelta
lol Gravity would like to have a word with said assassin. XD
Clockwerkpegasus
I've read that fanfic
cheeseriot
You guys ever heard of satire ?
madgodrhinoprime
What the hell would a plus sized assassin do? Try to assassinate a diet and health doctor? Stab bacon burgers?
skelitor120
All joking aside, a fat assassin would be an interesting character. They'd have to employ alot of tactics that didn't involve just running--
--away and climbing tall towers. They'd have the benefit of being more unassuming and nonthreatening, too.
ZooseKatz
C'mon, man. They could attend feasts and poison all the food... after sampling for the best dishes of course. Oh, and multiple feasts a day.
gibbinthegremlin
Hey do not knock the power of bacon..it has been giving people heart attacks for many yummy centuries!!!
StonesOnTheHill
If it wasn't the jumpy-flippy kind, I'd probably make him the Lethal Chef kind of assassin. Either way, he'd play on looking harmless.
Dinntwin
Genuine laugh from that lol thank you +1
KingKrown
Colmarr
well no one would expect the fat one to have wristblade. and he could join group fat monks and hide perfectly.
zp99
Don't for get the wrist spork, to complement the wrist blade
OmicronPerseiEight
Especially since a majority of monks are definitely 280+ pounds and in no way go on hunger strikes.
TheLastOfTheGood
There are no male plus size Victoria Secret models.
IDidntKnowWhattoMakeMyUsernameSoIMadeThis
Sexism
[deleted]
Everybody that posted a comment give a least a little bit of a shit.
thdudedude
Thats my fetish
awesomedork
TheSpeakerOfTheHouse
Needs more dwarf amputee lionkin as well.
QuiteADapperAsshole
Well that's even more likely- at least the male plus size model has tits.
LokiKingOfJotunheim
I initially read that as Victorian...
I like this better
TheAlviss
Nor assassin's
As far as we know.
Youareobscure
Man we really need to get more victoria's secret assasin models
Voidhawk42
What did you think the "Secret" was? It's the clan of highly trained lingerie-ninjas.
energ1ze
Well... not officially :D.
Lol
CoRektiveAction
"I know all there is to know..."
Buckbeak1486
And that is a true problem.
FusRoDoodles
Let me say as a fat girl this is a problem we should rectify immediately.
I would love to see you in Victoria's Secret! Or, Lane Bryant.
I would happily go to both of those stores if they advertised chunky men in underwear
HaveYouSeenMyLSD
a VERY serious problem
treadwords
I would've been a male model but then I saw the lack of diversity in Victoria's secret and became an engineer instead.
Regrets?
... sorry, I can't tell if you thought I was serious or not?
absolutezero182
Just that the world cannot see the glory of my half naked jiggly body
TheMightyMoto
I am all for characters that aren't all sticks and all, but assassins creed is not one that I feel would need a fat character.
AtomicPotato7
You kill the fat people
ImJustASalad
Yeah, back then fat meant wealth and power.
DarkwingDuc
A.) Original article is satire. OP sucks. B.) I agree with you. I don't want +sized characters, but I'd like ones that at least look strong.
PeacefulWarfare
Rhinehardt
I'm pretty sure they have fat people in those games. They're just not assassins...
AwkwardBiblophile
I mean an assassin in a corset isn't much better.
foibledagain
They're actually pretty good about the limitations boned corsets place on movement, I was impressed.
Seanspeed
Of course not. It's a joke article.
mallywanders
In time context in those games fat=rich=less anonymity=bad choice. Even fat acrobats. That's an auto "you're so and so"
FsImgur
Eugenia Cooney - the ultimate assassin. https://youtu.be/b93GefaZxb8
MoonGirlCat
I do believe I've of the targets in the first game was fat. And the second one? If I recall correctly.
malikcarr
You could have a fat assassin easily, just he'd be the social infiltrator type who poisons or strangles people, not an acrobatic roofrunner.
I don't know... One of AC's main strengths is the verticality of combat & traversing.
I didn't say it was a good idea, just that it was very possible. Maybe you could use him for side missions?
I don't know. A side-mission that varies drastically from the rest of the game is a high-risk high-reward proposition.
This whole idea is predicated on trying to appease the "body positive" whiners, just as a reminder.
DishonorablyDischargedGrammerNazi
They better make at least one gay though, just to be safe.
Could go full Baldur's Gate remake or Dragon Age and have a token transsexual in a pre industrial setting that everyone accepts as normal
NaxAttack
In Dragon Age, Krem wasn't accepted as normal by everyone. The reason he left Tevinter was BECAUSE he wasn't accepted for being transgender.
Zaranthan
They actually did. One of the mission lines in AC Syndicate comes from someone who is clearly a woman in a suit. The characters don't blink.
INTOTHEMOTHERLANDTHEGERMANARMYMARCH
A lot of times during those days women dressed a men and pretended to be them so they could be taken seriously. IE a lot of female pirates
Velociferocks
Like James Kidd/Mary Read that showed up in AC 4
iDrinkDrano
So long as it makes sense in the context and isn't pandering. Otherwise it's just like gaybaiting all over again.
Tokenism. That's the word I was looking for.
PleaseLeave
A fat person in those ages wouldnt be notable at all... Wait noticeable? Whatever the word is, too lazy to check it in translator
I mean plus size doesn't need to mean fat.
thecyprus
Syndicate is actually a pretty modern AC game, 1890s I think. Still might apply, but most of the others are several hundred years ago.
lowflyingbombs
They are interchangable in this context.
Flyms
being fat there was mostly about being rich....
Yeah but i think it would still be a minority of people who would be fat
That's what i meant. "Rich" enough people to buy much food were a minority. Sry if it looked like an counter argument.
Hetuni
Eh, anyone could've bought the food, but they usually had more to worry about than just getting more food. IE buying other things.
No probs dude
GodEmperorOfImgur
Hint: They want a plus-size character because then they can validate their size with "See! Fat people can be healthy!"
strife137
Hint: It was fucking satire
Poe's law.
secretoaster
Id actually would like to see a fat support character on battlefield. I mean not plus sized, but just fat.
But he'll get a bigger in than most people, but he moves little slower. But gun shoots at 2000 rpm and you get 1000 round backpack
BreakingBillnye
All I can think of is that gif of the very large man firing a pistol really fast.
glitchead
Heheheh...
DorthLous
Thing is, have a general population that was far less fat back then + rations during war + army recruitment and training restrictions...
PontifexMechanicus
Army recruitment and training restrictions in WWI, you're a funny guy. Three limbs, a pulse, an old enough to stay home alone? Good to go!
link117318
Final fantasy 15 has that fat guy from the movie and he was a good kingsglaive soldier. I think he is gonna be in the game as well
daguq
For the hit reg?
Just play overwatch all sorts of thick characters. Fat people typically aren't the heroes of lore though. It's typically fit people.
TheRealestLurker
Roadhog is thicc
Mei, zarya, roadhog, torbjorn,
Zarya is RIPPED though.
WhitePhoenix
To get into the military they don't let you be morbidly obese.
AliBarber
If the article is written by the girl in the picture then it's satire. She's Australian, writes a lot of satirical pieces
CongratsYouAreHereNow
Their argument is that skinny characters create an unhealthy image. That's valid. Their solution? Make everyone obese. Not valid
Bulk101
'Marvels "Daredevil" sets unrealistic standards for blind people and needs to be banned NOW!'
SgtChowdown
but why look up facts when Imgur will insta-FP anything hating on women and fat people????
It's hard to tell. There are actual articles out there where they would say this with a straight face.
LeJacquelope
Yup. It's impossible to do satire anymore.
SuperPickle17
satire requires unbelievable articles. sadly, nothing is unbelievable. Thanks obama.
CyborgScribe
Shhh. Don't let reality ruin the idiots anti-feminist fantasy.
SoMuchPooPooSon
The problem is people like her exist in real life, no satire. That's why people can't tell anymore.
plebianmaximus
Satire and nudes I guess. Only way some girls get attention. Inb4 I'm downvoted to hell. But it's true.
norill
NexiKuro
http://jezebel.com/why-isnt-it-called-no-womans-sky-1785411230
giorgios991
This man will give you all the information you need about this baboon. https://youtu.be/yA7iCp9kRyo
DorminRader
But does the take it in the butt? That's all i wanna know.
mistresskittymittens
That's a psycho canadian girl who went to my high school and thrives on creating drama. Stop posting about her it feeds her.
MOTHERFUCKINGVIRGINMARY
Cassidy boon I think. Marcus dibble did a great roast of her look for it.
PedestrianElectrobastard
You can't make satire out of feminism. There's literally nowhere they won't go.
Hewhoseesall
She's fucking Canadian
CosBlade
Oh, thank God.
If anybody took 10 seconds to check the source, they'd see it's a joke site.
DidItForScience
But that would ruin the 4chan circle jerk.
Jicks
Whats the source? There's no information in this picture.
Flyndaran
That would require them to consider for one fucking moment that most morbidly obese people aren't clinically insane and evil.
Retr0Futurist
Yeah but then they don't get to be outraged at women
fyemo
Wow why are you so outraged at men
rushingnothing
Yeah. I love her stuff and I love posting it on my Facebook so people who are to stupid to source info get all butt hurt
ratchet3789
She doesn't. Shes a cunt and YouTubers called her out for it and she went into maximum "IZ JUS JOEK GUIZ" mode.
HighAltidude
Mmmm, satire..... Let's go with could be satire if you're autistic
OfficerBathtub
Shes amercian and she hates us aussies for eating vegemite cause appariently its racist..
She's hot.
ThisisNotfunnyatall
No imgur is upset and we need to now talk about it
ElAuror
She's Cassidy Boon and is Canadian... not Australian...
YeMumIsTheEpic360NoScoper
Cassidy Boon look up Marcus Dibble reacts to Cassidy Boon. She says she got raped when someone tried to save her from drowning.
BloopHooHooGotYourNipNop
I know this girl personally and she is nor Australian or serious. All her blogs and videos are just to get people pissed so she gets views.
Catsandbutts
Hey, I'm far from skinny and I'm cosplay ing Evie Frye and I ROCK it. So.
I wanna see that shit, gurrl.
I'm finishing it up, once it's good, I'll totes show ya.
wrekemrobbie
she's not a fucking Australian cunt
SpartaWolf117
problem is a lot of people don't understand satire anymore, and will take it at face value
Vassinator
She's Canadian you spastic, Australians have roasted the living shit out of her for her vegemite and Aboriginal Callout.
Sypher11701
Lots of "plus sized" women are very attractive, like my wife for example. But, doing the stuff these characters do? Please, she'd be dead.
Tanwolf
She reads what you write on here don't she?
Lol, no, she really is hot. She's not one of those whale chicks.
bobbynixon
Not satire on buzzfeed/MTV
helpim18whatshappening
I thought she was the girl who said she hated Australians, Cassidy Boon right?
The whale
ImABloodThirstyDuck
Didn't she also say she hates Star Wars because it's sexist?
I believe she did, but its all meant to be satire, shes just very good at making it look like its not
iraxdescence
She's also the one who said she's suing someone for rescuing her against her will. It's satire.
blairmichod
*settles for seven figures* It's just a prank, bro!
Very satire, although shes good at what she does, had jesus dibble fooled there
HeartOfMedusa
He said in the video that he knew it was a troll
Huh, i must've missed that, its been a while rip
JohnnySilverhand
Cassidy baboon
I see someone else has been dabbling with the dibble, i assume, or else i sound fuckin weird
Jesus "Muzz" Dibble yes I know him
No1Queenjew
You guys wanna have a 3 way with a framed photo of jesus dibble watches on the wall?
Oh thank god i dont just sound weird
This reminds me of that Jezebel "why no No woman's sky?" bait article that got posted here too, good shit.
woopwooppulloverdatasstoofat
shhh you're ruining the imgur circle jerk
IEatBaconBurgers
Against who? Stupid people?
wererat2000
...yes.
Groznek
Well, people are stupid enough to take this at face value, so sure.
ExodusMemes
but she isnt australian. she called australians racist becasue vegimite was black, im pretty sure shes canadian
LanceCrossfire
And yet maple syrup is brown!! Who's the racist now!?!?
drakeirving
it's amber you uneducated imbecile
LordMoo
*ebony
LifeHasManyDoorsEddBoy
Pretty sure we would call ourselves that. You don't understand how sarcastic, ironic and self-deprecating our humour is.
but i am an aussie...
LordIggy
Or all commonwealth humour really. We are far more likely to self-deprecate than we are to put down our fellow Aussies, Kiwis, Canucks, etc.
PoopFrosting
you know what, if they can show me a plus-size person doing all that assassin acrobatic shit, i'll fight for it alongside them
threepwood007
Mirt the Moneylender!
temujin9
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zja-rkeXUxk
or https://youtu.be/SsfxsZR98S8?t=345
edasm
Assassin's Suicide- that's a different game.
tomyironmane
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqzUI5t9qJ4 Ahem.
brainplay
A 1 minute routine and she's sweating. Keep that up for 30min and we'll talk.
silverhands
It's more that, if you got truly skilled at this sort of thing, by the time you got skilled you would be skinny.
this guy from AC brotherhood multiplayer.
LowerLands
Even then just because it's possible with the odd person doesn't mean it's "a problem" that the character isn't like that
SherlockH0LMES
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeosdcWazos
knatily
Uh, I'm pretty sure basically no human can do the things in that video game...
KtotheUZGandaUn
Redneck Ninja
Ryebread91
To be fair there's some big athletic women out there who would be plus size. Though that's obviously now the satires point.
ILikeToCallItLostWages
http://pa1.narvii.com/5723/dc906a3cfa35892a902fec550c63295174c0523c_hq.gif
zackofspades
Didn't Kevin James just release a movie about this?
AdogeKitler
TheVagab0nd
Kevin Owens
n641026
[Jim Cornette Intensifies ]
JVM205
http://imgur.com/st3qYL3
Roumenov
Sammo Hung!
FubinacaZombie
Because the physics in those games is so realistic even for skinny folks? Please.
StarryPlough
Why? Most people aren't fat so why would they make a fictional hero fat?
GylfieTheOwl
Does Kung Fu Panda count?
starscape678
Kevin James. Dude is fit as fuck.
SmeesNotVeryGoodTwin
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-r9P5bB0Jvjs/VIjNMyM23jI/AAAAAAAAigU/YTAy6i3s1e0/w426-h239/kkk.gif
silverfoxxflame
Brief time at westpoint, there was an upper classman who looked out of shape compared to everyone. potbelly and the like. We all wondered
How he passed the physical fitness test until he started doing handstand pushups for fun one day.
TheDivineUsersub
https://media.giphy.com/media/sPseIi6MECImI/giphy.gif
poopypostapproval
If a plus sized person did all that acrobatic shit they're shed the weight. So the logic just isn't there
Sockpuppetmastermind
Same
GeneralBullshit
I mean, I'd watch from afar, cheering at them, perhaps giving some motivational speach at least. Go to the thing!
Because athletic people can jump off towers and land in hay unharmed while fat people go splatt in real life.
Quaaaaartz
Even if plus-size person can do this it's not a reason to force people to put plus-size person in game
Valharroth
+1 don't sacrifice artistic integrity to appease certain segments. And as a lard ass, I don't really see the need to have see it in games.
ItWasNotMeItWasTheOneArmedMan
Hear hear. I'm a fast chick and I'd be confused by a fat assassin, not offended.
TrueNorthernLights
Likewise. Be realistic. You could have a plus size gal as a love intetest, scientist/engineer, you name it, but doing high dives into hay?
Qualtagh
It's only a reason to question why there are so few in gaming overall. No one game bears the responsibility to diversify.
CaptainScarfish
In general, the only plus sized women that make sense in an action oriented video game are bodybuilders ie. Zarya
There are genres in which every character being equally fit makes sense. But the trend influences all genres. It's not baseless, just odd.
lcplspanky
Play a game with a tank character then, they tend to be plus sized, #gragas
feeltheice
Because if you are living an active lifestyle like those associated as the hero's in games... you tend not to be plus sized.
That's a plausible explanation. But it makes the large breasts common to female protagonists even more confusing.
IamNotInfected
It's almost as if video games were not reality...
SharkoutofWata
distortedlens
This would have been a great gif. Damn it
Monticello19
v
TheEternalLeaf
Holy fuck. Also thanks for posting it, the gif wouldn't play for me.
It's not playing for me :(
BigAdam
Already got time travel, aliens, and bullshit up the wazoo, lets have some fat assassins.
Curiousone545
*SMH is Kung fu Panda not good enough for them?!
The fat assassin: cardiac arrest
RyukR
Lmao, like the concept of an animus wasn't bullshit enough?
Lachastabiker
Mmm actually.. Never mind
teknoman117
I used to do awesome assassin stuff, but then I took an arrow to the flab.
GGKorppi300
Bitch pls
Heterochromicat
Dagg'um Ty'gor +1
ruferto
thats a 2-headed ogre not a person
TychoTheMad
"sneakin' (shh, quiet)"
HamsterOnAGoat
ElevenHells
kek
Mack1986
He said person. Jack black isn't people
shutard
OPENYOURMOUTH
If this is a movie...is it possible to watch it?
It was on Netflix once upon a time.
SuperSaiyanSasquatch
He's a panda! *points at Po* You're a panda! What are you gonna do big guy? Sit on me?
Fly back there and tell them... the real Dragon Warrior... is coming home.
Comito
Don't tempt me.
imaclubbingseal
Look at Sammo Hung. Like Jackie, he does his own stunts.
Solomon13
Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao and Jackie Chan are the golden trio, but even they would struggle with modern political corrrectness
eetsumkaus
came here to say this. The dude defies physics
VoidIncarnate
I loved their classic HK movies with Yuen Biao.
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
Not just like Jackie. The motherfucker fought Bruce Lee at his prime and the match was called a draw. Sammo Hung is amazing.
Nyoibo83
Also the scar on his lip was from someone slashing his face in a bar brawl
BangForTheBuck
I also hear he's well Hung
Your joke is juvenile and obvious. It also made me chuckle, so +1.
I'm not on my best pun game today :/
He may be a big dude but he's also both strong and a dude.
The statement said "person" didn't specify gender. :) though games are fantasies so if people wanted to fantasize about plus-sized assassin
AcidOPhilus
wow come on, this is the one time imgur actually talks about biological sex and NOW you use "gender"?
(2) they would make a game about plus sized assassin dressed in rainbow if that's what people want
Dude, I want that. Lol. It could be like the Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon expansion.
SaturdayMidmorning
A lot of weird plus sized hate showing up. Some of us train hard and move easily. High endurance even. Check FatGirlRunning.
... on the other hand, if I have to spend 200+ hours looking at an ass, it better be an attractive one. No one bitches about no fat dudes...
I just linked a video of that one fat girl pole dancing, because holy shit she was good....
ajvxn
I agree. Some people don't get it. And I bet they couldn't get through 30 mins of a 90 min spin class.
Endurance, but can you guys do what happens in AC? That would need someone to be a fucking godlike athlete to do
PerhapsAnotherPerspective
Yes, because character realism is strictly adhered to in AC... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFfT3svTn_w
...Other than that.
imshibagel
I honestly wouldn't, knowing it's an anomaly and risking fat people think they can do the same then they have heart attacks
It would depend on the person. I know a hefty lady who has a VERY strong heart.
ashmenon
Exactly, anomalies. It's like how SOME kids would have the brains to know not to try stupid stuff at home, but you still had to be careful >
> about warning them anyway.
YoungJables
Lol i just want to meet these people everyone references in comments. "Saw it in a game that means i can do it also!"
Maybe you werent around during the prime of Jackass and swordfighting neckbeards
Jackasses appeal was that they were joe average. Anyone could do it. I don't know anything about sword fighting neckbeards.
OhFuckItWasTaken
OneBarWarrior1
MeantoChildren
@poopfrosting
The request was doing "All that assassin acrobatics" Doing one backflip is not really what assassins do, Try Urban parkour instead.
Now show him doing urban parkour, jumping from roof top to roof top for hours on end.
Nyet97
R.i.p
Raidenn
*grabs beer*
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
Now show me running a marathon without breaks.
HelloMax
That's a man tho...
plainoldfool
For one, IIRC, he was a cheerleader earlier in life. He trained to do this stuff while he was physically capable of doing so. It's (1)
not like he started when he was heavy. I'm a fat dude and I wouldn't be able to do this unless I cut weight. Second, he ded.
TheMightyAku
FOR NARNIA
asspickle
yeah but hes dead
GamermanRPGKing
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/IdJzwpRiJ17zeKjVzH5WsOWLef2cE4JQ-zWODqCbUNV_iWAvKnlswwd40KvfbBU4g_AEGJo=s131
effigyoma
Hah! I freakin' new this one was coming. It's possible for someone to have both muscle and fat.
ZachPutland
I didn't see any fat gymnasts or runners in the Olympics
Yes but while muscle is heavy it still propels you while fat is just dead weight. The amount of extra muscle needed is pretty high.
Iamthismoment
This guy learned all his moves when he wasn't fat. Then had a medical problem and is now back into training
Assfullofbread
Why are you commenting such bullshit? That guy died of an overdose a few years ago so shut the fuck up
Wow....
codpeace
I can't find any info by googling. All I have to go on is "fat guy back flip dead". Anyone have source?
Google "No Excuses tricker "
Ty sir! And RIP, sounds like he was a pretty amazing dude.
thecolonels
No he is dead.
OrganicToeFungus
I thought he was dead...
Yep, you're right, 2014. Poor dude
jakefromreddit
Yeah, unfortunately.
bonvivantofviolence
What happened?
bearstrike
Only losers quit training when they die
M4rt1nV
The skeleton army: an equal opportunity recruiter!
classicrapeydolphin
Why does it look like he slows down in mid-air?
His upwards acelleration drop to 0, And he rotates his legs forwards, pushing his torso back decellerating his horizontal momentum.
ChiefFireTooth
You ever seen the water bottle challenge? well, our bodies are 75% water.
Gravity
danishjuggler21
When you're airborne, all changes in motion occur around your center of gravity.
runechan
His gravity field imparting motion to the Earth slowing him relative to it.
ParticularlyMentallyInsane
All that fat had to catch up somehow
Hooblado
Because he does, he throws his left leg back slowing the rest of his body down mid flip.
ImGonnaGetTheBooty
Air resistance.
BYERE
So much increased surface area.
wlfman
ignore air resistance, it's because higher mass has a higher rotational inertia
Forestsky
.
why have you dotted me?!?
DongSayaDae
Evryone does that - you are leaned back when you go airborne, then you land leaning forward - so for a time your upper body doesnt move -
SuperiorPosterior
Making it look like people float in midair when doing those flips - weight matters but its not the main reason it looks awesome doing those.
LoopStricken
JohnnyDeppression
Now do a plus sized woman.
RaspyVoicedRapscallion
Gotchu https://imgur.com/OoqykRm
RockmanModelZ
Gotchu
idej
I need more upvotes to give you
Rovenlock
i feel kinda bad for her
Props to her for having the guts to do that on stage though.
DarthZerma
Gotchu v
EdumamacationUSay
I did a plus sized woman. What should I do now?
plastikb0y
High five
CurlySwede
You forgot to film it, redo the right way
amishcannoli
Do her again, man.
Zokathra
Your mother is at least +++ though.
Koshunae
I think theres a country song about something similar. Double XL, I think
Broke the cardinal rule of the internet, pics or it didn't happen.
Djmachale1
Do you really want those kind of pictures of OPs mother?
I don't follow bird rules.
AnythingMuchShorter
Plus size can also be tall and big, for example Lucy lawless is a very believable plus size warrior woman.
Catfactory
This is satire from The Stately Harold. They do this for most major games, tv shows, etc.
jasmineelee
The "video game characters with realistic bodies" Crack me up. Trains entire life all day every day but realistic is apparently overweight.
InnerUniverse
Do people aspire to be "plus size"? If not, then it shouldn't matter that fantasy characters aren't fat.
PffftNext
They just want representation! WAAAAAILS
Promethianfire
It's unfair to depict people who do athletic things having athletic figures.
Lemuffinmannn
Plus size doesnt mean fat. In modeling for ladies plus size is actually anything bigger than a stick.
keillrandor
Some top female athletes would probably be considered "plus size" :-/
WeylandAve
The imgur classic of digging through year old minor blog posts to find something to be mad about.
rrlyrae
"spy" with melissa mccarthy was hilarious. she's a plus-sized assassin and pulls it off very well.
AnIntimateGatheringOfCrocodiles
And all the male assassins have been plus size as well?
ISpendTooMuchTimeHereAnywaySoIMightAsWellMakeAnAccoun
Probably satire. But since it's a game, and the assasins perform impossible feats it's not like a buffer woman would ruin immersion
IronicUsername
The article is satire. The full URL is too long but you can find it and ones like it here: http://vindoga.wixsite.com/thestatelyharold
tanuki2k
I was all keen to check out more by clicking on the link.. then I saw they used wix. Nope.
Drake1492
Would a jacked female assassin be plus sized? Like a bruiser?
TheGreatLunchbox
Hey so, not to kill the fun, but this was a satire article on The Stately Harold, same as the "raped by being saved from drowning" chick
THEONEANDONLYJOHNstamos
"Fucking aquatic rape"
bitemark
I would totally play a Ms Trunchbull skin. She kills people by throwing them, or with a sleeper hold, no need for a dagger.
Gorperino
The blacksmith from assassin's creed brotherhood multilayer was my favorite. He was huge but was just as mobile as anyone.
Dilligaffin
Fat Ass-assin
bnuihj
This was a fake post in an "onion" like blog.
HalphPint
Fatassins Creed
skwint
Climb onto a moderately high wall and then jump on the targets head. It saves trying to smuggle weapons through security.
Knovas
Am supposed to be grocery shopping, instead I'm on imgur... laughed too hard at this!! +1
Th0tPatrol
Jesus
jo0nes
JaimeFookinLannister
Fatass-assin's Creed
Darkspire
Yep. She just sits on the targets face to kill them.
TrustyBadmash
Assassins greed
ohiofulcrum
Assassins Feed
johntbonespartan
This is from a satirical news site
nienepientje
There is plus size and plus size. Not all plus is looking like a whale. That's such an awfull thing to say.
blmcdonald
What is "Kek"? I keep seeing it on posts like this
ComplimentGuy
Someone help us.
EternalSunshineOfTheSpotlessMind
(1) From WoW. The two factions (Alliance and Horde) can't communicate in chat. So the chats are run through and in-game translator, so that
EternalSunshineOfTheSpotlessMind
(2) it's unreadable to the opposing faction. When typed by the Horde, "lol" is seen as "kek" to the Alliance. tl;dr - "kek" = "lol".
blmcdonald
Wow. That's...huh. Alright well thanks!
labellaboobs
They said plus size not obese. Huge difference.
raginglolz
Still, if you've ever even seen the same, there is no chance that anyone capable of doing any part of that game can be "plus sized"
NotAnIroningBoard
Yeah but what they meant and what you meant could be different
LimeMime565
Still. Theyre assassins. They need to be fast and quiet, thus them being as fit as possible is reasonable and needed.
IMpresington
I would be just fine with Pam.
thrymn
Pam could have easily taken out some of the Brute guards. Just lift them in the air, and launch them off a rooftop.
UnsolicitedRichardPicture
Cocaine Pam? That would be excelsior.
Iforgetmyusernameeasily
I want a 500 pound assassin leaping from roof to roof.
JigsawLV
Then go and do it, your 500 pounds are just as good ^^
Iforgetmyusernameeasily
No I want your 500lb mom to do it, I'm way bellow that whale weight.
JigsawLV
If you wanted to go for a yo mama joke, you should have set the bar higher. 1000 pounds. Your blue whale that you call your mom. etc.
IllusivePanda
All I can picture is a sumo wrestler sized man in white hooded robes attempting a leap of faith and the perch he's on just snapping
Attacker732
*Snap!* "FUCK! NOT AGAAaaaaiiiiin-!"
StormWingDelta
lol Gravity would like to have a word with said assassin. XD
Clockwerkpegasus
I've read that fanfic
cheeseriot
You guys ever heard of satire ?
madgodrhinoprime
What the hell would a plus sized assassin do? Try to assassinate a diet and health doctor? Stab bacon burgers?
skelitor120
All joking aside, a fat assassin would be an interesting character. They'd have to employ alot of tactics that didn't involve just running--
skelitor120
--away and climbing tall towers. They'd have the benefit of being more unassuming and nonthreatening, too.
ZooseKatz
C'mon, man. They could attend feasts and poison all the food... after sampling for the best dishes of course. Oh, and multiple feasts a day.
gibbinthegremlin
Hey do not knock the power of bacon..it has been giving people heart attacks for many yummy centuries!!!
StonesOnTheHill
If it wasn't the jumpy-flippy kind, I'd probably make him the Lethal Chef kind of assassin. Either way, he'd play on looking harmless.
Dinntwin
Genuine laugh from that lol thank you +1
KingKrown
gibbinthegremlin
Hey do not knock the power of bacon..it has been giving people heart attacks for many yummy centuries!!!
Colmarr
well no one would expect the fat one to have wristblade. and he could join group fat monks and hide perfectly.
zp99
Don't for get the wrist spork, to complement the wrist blade
OmicronPerseiEight
Especially since a majority of monks are definitely 280+ pounds and in no way go on hunger strikes.
TheLastOfTheGood
There are no male plus size Victoria Secret models.
IDidntKnowWhattoMakeMyUsernameSoIMadeThis
Sexism
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheLastOfTheGood
Everybody that posted a comment give a least a little bit of a shit.
thdudedude
Thats my fetish
awesomedork
TheSpeakerOfTheHouse
Needs more dwarf amputee lionkin as well.
QuiteADapperAsshole
Well that's even more likely- at least the male plus size model has tits.
LokiKingOfJotunheim
I initially read that as Victorian...
TheLastOfTheGood
I like this better
TheAlviss
Nor assassin's
TheLastOfTheGood
As far as we know.
Youareobscure
Man we really need to get more victoria's secret assasin models
Voidhawk42
What did you think the "Secret" was? It's the clan of highly trained lingerie-ninjas.
energ1ze
Well... not officially :D.
TheLastOfTheGood
Lol
CoRektiveAction
"I know all there is to know..."
Buckbeak1486
And that is a true problem.
FusRoDoodles
Let me say as a fat girl this is a problem we should rectify immediately.
Buckbeak1486
I would love to see you in Victoria's Secret! Or, Lane Bryant.
FusRoDoodles
I would happily go to both of those stores if they advertised chunky men in underwear
HaveYouSeenMyLSD
a VERY serious problem
treadwords
I would've been a male model but then I saw the lack of diversity in Victoria's secret and became an engineer instead.
TheLastOfTheGood
Regrets?
treadwords
... sorry, I can't tell if you thought I was serious or not?
absolutezero182
Just that the world cannot see the glory of my half naked jiggly body
TheMightyMoto
I am all for characters that aren't all sticks and all, but assassins creed is not one that I feel would need a fat character.
AtomicPotato7
You kill the fat people
ImJustASalad
Yeah, back then fat meant wealth and power.
DarkwingDuc
A.) Original article is satire. OP sucks. B.) I agree with you. I don't want +sized characters, but I'd like ones that at least look strong.
PeacefulWarfare
Rhinehardt
LokiKingOfJotunheim
I'm pretty sure they have fat people in those games. They're just not assassins...
AwkwardBiblophile
I mean an assassin in a corset isn't much better.
foibledagain
They're actually pretty good about the limitations boned corsets place on movement, I was impressed.
Seanspeed
Of course not. It's a joke article.
mallywanders
In time context in those games fat=rich=less anonymity=bad choice. Even fat acrobats. That's an auto "you're so and so"
FsImgur
Eugenia Cooney - the ultimate assassin. https://youtu.be/b93GefaZxb8
MoonGirlCat
I do believe I've of the targets in the first game was fat. And the second one? If I recall correctly.
malikcarr
You could have a fat assassin easily, just he'd be the social infiltrator type who poisons or strangles people, not an acrobatic roofrunner.
Attacker732
I don't know... One of AC's main strengths is the verticality of combat & traversing.
malikcarr
I didn't say it was a good idea, just that it was very possible. Maybe you could use him for side missions?
Attacker732
I don't know. A side-mission that varies drastically from the rest of the game is a high-risk high-reward proposition.
malikcarr
This whole idea is predicated on trying to appease the "body positive" whiners, just as a reminder.
DishonorablyDischargedGrammerNazi
They better make at least one gay though, just to be safe.
IllusivePanda
Could go full Baldur's Gate remake or Dragon Age and have a token transsexual in a pre industrial setting that everyone accepts as normal
NaxAttack
In Dragon Age, Krem wasn't accepted as normal by everyone. The reason he left Tevinter was BECAUSE he wasn't accepted for being transgender.
Zaranthan
They actually did. One of the mission lines in AC Syndicate comes from someone who is clearly a woman in a suit. The characters don't blink.
INTOTHEMOTHERLANDTHEGERMANARMYMARCH
A lot of times during those days women dressed a men and pretended to be them so they could be taken seriously. IE a lot of female pirates
Velociferocks
Like James Kidd/Mary Read that showed up in AC 4
iDrinkDrano
So long as it makes sense in the context and isn't pandering. Otherwise it's just like gaybaiting all over again.
iDrinkDrano
Tokenism. That's the word I was looking for.
PleaseLeave
A fat person in those ages wouldnt be notable at all... Wait noticeable? Whatever the word is, too lazy to check it in translator
AwkwardBiblophile
I mean plus size doesn't need to mean fat.
thecyprus
Syndicate is actually a pretty modern AC game, 1890s I think. Still might apply, but most of the others are several hundred years ago.
lowflyingbombs
They are interchangable in this context.
Flyms
being fat there was mostly about being rich....
PleaseLeave
Yeah but i think it would still be a minority of people who would be fat
Flyms
That's what i meant. "Rich" enough people to buy much food were a minority. Sry if it looked like an counter argument.
Hetuni
Eh, anyone could've bought the food, but they usually had more to worry about than just getting more food. IE buying other things.
PleaseLeave
No probs dude
GodEmperorOfImgur
Hint: They want a plus-size character because then they can validate their size with "See! Fat people can be healthy!"
strife137
Hint: It was fucking satire
strife137
Hint: It was fucking satire
GodEmperorOfImgur
Poe's law.
secretoaster
Id actually would like to see a fat support character on battlefield. I mean not plus sized, but just fat.
secretoaster
But he'll get a bigger in than most people, but he moves little slower. But gun shoots at 2000 rpm and you get 1000 round backpack
BreakingBillnye
All I can think of is that gif of the very large man firing a pistol really fast.
glitchead
Heheheh...
DorthLous
Thing is, have a general population that was far less fat back then + rations during war + army recruitment and training restrictions...
PontifexMechanicus
Army recruitment and training restrictions in WWI, you're a funny guy. Three limbs, a pulse, an old enough to stay home alone? Good to go!
link117318
Final fantasy 15 has that fat guy from the movie and he was a good kingsglaive soldier. I think he is gonna be in the game as well
daguq
For the hit reg?
PeacefulWarfare
Just play overwatch all sorts of thick characters. Fat people typically aren't the heroes of lore though. It's typically fit people.
TheRealestLurker
Roadhog is thicc
PeacefulWarfare
Mei, zarya, roadhog, torbjorn,
glitchead
Zarya is RIPPED though.
WhitePhoenix
To get into the military they don't let you be morbidly obese.
AliBarber
If the article is written by the girl in the picture then it's satire. She's Australian, writes a lot of satirical pieces
CongratsYouAreHereNow
Their argument is that skinny characters create an unhealthy image. That's valid. Their solution? Make everyone obese. Not valid
Bulk101
'Marvels "Daredevil" sets unrealistic standards for blind people and needs to be banned NOW!'
SgtChowdown
but why look up facts when Imgur will insta-FP anything hating on women and fat people????
WhitePhoenix
It's hard to tell. There are actual articles out there where they would say this with a straight face.
LeJacquelope
Yup. It's impossible to do satire anymore.
SuperPickle17
satire requires unbelievable articles. sadly, nothing is unbelievable. Thanks obama.
CyborgScribe
Shhh. Don't let reality ruin the idiots anti-feminist fantasy.
SoMuchPooPooSon
The problem is people like her exist in real life, no satire. That's why people can't tell anymore.
plebianmaximus
Satire and nudes I guess. Only way some girls get attention. Inb4 I'm downvoted to hell. But it's true.
norill
NexiKuro
http://jezebel.com/why-isnt-it-called-no-womans-sky-1785411230
giorgios991
This man will give you all the information you need about this baboon. https://youtu.be/yA7iCp9kRyo
DorminRader
But does the take it in the butt? That's all i wanna know.
mistresskittymittens
That's a psycho canadian girl who went to my high school and thrives on creating drama. Stop posting about her it feeds her.
MOTHERFUCKINGVIRGINMARY
Cassidy boon I think. Marcus dibble did a great roast of her look for it.
PedestrianElectrobastard
You can't make satire out of feminism. There's literally nowhere they won't go.
Hewhoseesall
She's fucking Canadian
CosBlade
Oh, thank God.
Seanspeed
If anybody took 10 seconds to check the source, they'd see it's a joke site.
DidItForScience
But that would ruin the 4chan circle jerk.
Jicks
Whats the source? There's no information in this picture.
Flyndaran
That would require them to consider for one fucking moment that most morbidly obese people aren't clinically insane and evil.
Retr0Futurist
Yeah but then they don't get to be outraged at women
fyemo
Wow why are you so outraged at men
rushingnothing
Yeah. I love her stuff and I love posting it on my Facebook so people who are to stupid to source info get all butt hurt
ratchet3789
She doesn't. Shes a cunt and YouTubers called her out for it and she went into maximum "IZ JUS JOEK GUIZ" mode.
HighAltidude
Mmmm, satire..... Let's go with could be satire if you're autistic
OfficerBathtub
Shes amercian and she hates us aussies for eating vegemite cause appariently its racist..
DorminRader
She's hot.
ThisisNotfunnyatall
No imgur is upset and we need to now talk about it
ElAuror
She's Cassidy Boon and is Canadian... not Australian...
YeMumIsTheEpic360NoScoper
Cassidy Boon look up Marcus Dibble reacts to Cassidy Boon. She says she got raped when someone tried to save her from drowning.
BloopHooHooGotYourNipNop
I know this girl personally and she is nor Australian or serious. All her blogs and videos are just to get people pissed so she gets views.
Catsandbutts
Hey, I'm far from skinny and I'm cosplay ing Evie Frye and I ROCK it. So.
DorminRader
I wanna see that shit, gurrl.
Catsandbutts
I'm finishing it up, once it's good, I'll totes show ya.
wrekemrobbie
she's not a fucking Australian cunt
SpartaWolf117
problem is a lot of people don't understand satire anymore, and will take it at face value
Vassinator
She's Canadian you spastic, Australians have roasted the living shit out of her for her vegemite and Aboriginal Callout.
Sypher11701
Lots of "plus sized" women are very attractive, like my wife for example. But, doing the stuff these characters do? Please, she'd be dead.
Tanwolf
She reads what you write on here don't she?
Sypher11701
Lol, no, she really is hot. She's not one of those whale chicks.
bobbynixon
Not satire on buzzfeed/MTV
helpim18whatshappening
I thought she was the girl who said she hated Australians, Cassidy Boon right?
YeMumIsTheEpic360NoScoper
The whale
ImABloodThirstyDuck
Didn't she also say she hates Star Wars because it's sexist?
helpim18whatshappening
I believe she did, but its all meant to be satire, shes just very good at making it look like its not
iraxdescence
She's also the one who said she's suing someone for rescuing her against her will. It's satire.
blairmichod
*settles for seven figures* It's just a prank, bro!
helpim18whatshappening
Very satire, although shes good at what she does, had jesus dibble fooled there
HeartOfMedusa
He said in the video that he knew it was a troll
helpim18whatshappening
Huh, i must've missed that, its been a while rip
JohnnySilverhand
Cassidy baboon
helpim18whatshappening
I see someone else has been dabbling with the dibble, i assume, or else i sound fuckin weird
JohnnySilverhand
Jesus "Muzz" Dibble yes I know him
No1Queenjew
You guys wanna have a 3 way with a framed photo of jesus dibble watches on the wall?
helpim18whatshappening
Oh thank god i dont just sound weird
NexiKuro
This reminds me of that Jezebel "why no No woman's sky?" bait article that got posted here too, good shit.
woopwooppulloverdatasstoofat
shhh you're ruining the imgur circle jerk
IEatBaconBurgers
Against who? Stupid people?
wererat2000
...yes.
Groznek
Well, people are stupid enough to take this at face value, so sure.
ExodusMemes
but she isnt australian. she called australians racist becasue vegimite was black, im pretty sure shes canadian
LanceCrossfire
And yet maple syrup is brown!! Who's the racist now!?!?
drakeirving
it's amber you uneducated imbecile
LordMoo
*ebony
LifeHasManyDoorsEddBoy
Pretty sure we would call ourselves that. You don't understand how sarcastic, ironic and self-deprecating our humour is.
ExodusMemes
but i am an aussie...
LordIggy
Or all commonwealth humour really. We are far more likely to self-deprecate than we are to put down our fellow Aussies, Kiwis, Canucks, etc.
PoopFrosting
you know what, if they can show me a plus-size person doing all that assassin acrobatic shit, i'll fight for it alongside them
threepwood007
Mirt the Moneylender!
temujin9
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zja-rkeXUxk
temujin9
or https://youtu.be/SsfxsZR98S8?t=345
edasm
Assassin's Suicide- that's a different game.
tomyironmane
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqzUI5t9qJ4 Ahem.
brainplay
A 1 minute routine and she's sweating. Keep that up for 30min and we'll talk.
silverhands
It's more that, if you got truly skilled at this sort of thing, by the time you got skilled you would be skinny.
Gorperino
LowerLands
Even then just because it's possible with the odd person doesn't mean it's "a problem" that the character isn't like that
SherlockH0LMES
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeosdcWazos
knatily
Uh, I'm pretty sure basically no human can do the things in that video game...
KtotheUZGandaUn
Redneck Ninja
Ryebread91
To be fair there's some big athletic women out there who would be plus size. Though that's obviously now the satires point.
ILikeToCallItLostWages
http://pa1.narvii.com/5723/dc906a3cfa35892a902fec550c63295174c0523c_hq.gif
zackofspades
Didn't Kevin James just release a movie about this?
AdogeKitler
TheVagab0nd
Kevin Owens
n641026
[Jim Cornette Intensifies ]
JVM205
http://imgur.com/st3qYL3
Roumenov
Sammo Hung!
FubinacaZombie
Because the physics in those games is so realistic even for skinny folks? Please.
StarryPlough
Why? Most people aren't fat so why would they make a fictional hero fat?
GylfieTheOwl
Does Kung Fu Panda count?
starscape678
Kevin James. Dude is fit as fuck.
SmeesNotVeryGoodTwin
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-r9P5bB0Jvjs/VIjNMyM23jI/AAAAAAAAigU/YTAy6i3s1e0/w426-h239/kkk.gif
silverfoxxflame
Brief time at westpoint, there was an upper classman who looked out of shape compared to everyone. potbelly and the like. We all wondered
silverfoxxflame
How he passed the physical fitness test until he started doing handstand pushups for fun one day.
TheDivineUsersub
https://media.giphy.com/media/sPseIi6MECImI/giphy.gif
poopypostapproval
If a plus sized person did all that acrobatic shit they're shed the weight. So the logic just isn't there
Sockpuppetmastermind
Same
ILikeToCallItLostWages
GeneralBullshit
I mean, I'd watch from afar, cheering at them, perhaps giving some motivational speach at least. Go to the thing!
ISpendTooMuchTimeHereAnywaySoIMightAsWellMakeAnAccoun
Because athletic people can jump off towers and land in hay unharmed while fat people go splatt in real life.
Quaaaaartz
Even if plus-size person can do this it's not a reason to force people to put plus-size person in game
Valharroth
+1 don't sacrifice artistic integrity to appease certain segments. And as a lard ass, I don't really see the need to have see it in games.
ItWasNotMeItWasTheOneArmedMan
Hear hear. I'm a fast chick and I'd be confused by a fat assassin, not offended.
TrueNorthernLights
Likewise. Be realistic. You could have a plus size gal as a love intetest, scientist/engineer, you name it, but doing high dives into hay?
Qualtagh
It's only a reason to question why there are so few in gaming overall. No one game bears the responsibility to diversify.
CaptainScarfish
In general, the only plus sized women that make sense in an action oriented video game are bodybuilders ie. Zarya
Qualtagh
There are genres in which every character being equally fit makes sense. But the trend influences all genres. It's not baseless, just odd.
lcplspanky
Play a game with a tank character then, they tend to be plus sized, #gragas
feeltheice
Because if you are living an active lifestyle like those associated as the hero's in games... you tend not to be plus sized.
Qualtagh
That's a plausible explanation. But it makes the large breasts common to female protagonists even more confusing.
IamNotInfected
It's almost as if video games were not reality...
SharkoutofWata
distortedlens
This would have been a great gif. Damn it
Monticello19
TheEternalLeaf
Holy fuck. Also thanks for posting it, the gif wouldn't play for me.
Hetuni
It's not playing for me :(
BigAdam
Already got time travel, aliens, and bullshit up the wazoo, lets have some fat assassins.
Curiousone545
*SMH is Kung fu Panda not good enough for them?!
iDrinkDrano
The fat assassin: cardiac arrest
RyukR
Lmao, like the concept of an animus wasn't bullshit enough?
Lachastabiker
Mmm actually.. Never mind
teknoman117
I used to do awesome assassin stuff, but then I took an arrow to the flab.
GGKorppi300
Heterochromicat
Dagg'um Ty'gor +1
ruferto
thats a 2-headed ogre not a person
TychoTheMad
"sneakin' (shh, quiet)"
HamsterOnAGoat
ElevenHells
kek
Mack1986
He said person. Jack black isn't people
shutard
OPENYOURMOUTH
If this is a movie...is it possible to watch it?
shutard
It was on Netflix once upon a time.
SuperSaiyanSasquatch
He's a panda! *points at Po* You're a panda! What are you gonna do big guy? Sit on me?
OPENYOURMOUTH
Fly back there and tell them... the real Dragon Warrior... is coming home.
Comito
Don't tempt me.
imaclubbingseal
Look at Sammo Hung. Like Jackie, he does his own stunts.
Solomon13
Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao and Jackie Chan are the golden trio, but even they would struggle with modern political corrrectness
eetsumkaus
came here to say this. The dude defies physics
VoidIncarnate
I loved their classic HK movies with Yuen Biao.
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
Not just like Jackie. The motherfucker fought Bruce Lee at his prime and the match was called a draw. Sammo Hung is amazing.
Nyoibo83
Also the scar on his lip was from someone slashing his face in a bar brawl
BangForTheBuck
I also hear he's well Hung
SometimesISayHistoryStuff
Your joke is juvenile and obvious. It also made me chuckle, so +1.
BangForTheBuck
I'm not on my best pun game today :/
IllusivePanda
He may be a big dude but he's also both strong and a dude.
imaclubbingseal
The statement said "person" didn't specify gender. :) though games are fantasies so if people wanted to fantasize about plus-sized assassin
AcidOPhilus
wow come on, this is the one time imgur actually talks about biological sex and NOW you use "gender"?
imaclubbingseal
(2) they would make a game about plus sized assassin dressed in rainbow if that's what people want
Roumenov
Dude, I want that. Lol. It could be like the Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon expansion.
SaturdayMidmorning
A lot of weird plus sized hate showing up. Some of us train hard and move easily. High endurance even. Check FatGirlRunning.
tomyironmane
... on the other hand, if I have to spend 200+ hours looking at an ass, it better be an attractive one. No one bitches about no fat dudes...
tomyironmane
I just linked a video of that one fat girl pole dancing, because holy shit she was good....
ajvxn
I agree. Some people don't get it. And I bet they couldn't get through 30 mins of a 90 min spin class.
Hetuni
Endurance, but can you guys do what happens in AC? That would need someone to be a fucking godlike athlete to do
PerhapsAnotherPerspective
Yes, because character realism is strictly adhered to in AC... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFfT3svTn_w
Hetuni
...Other than that.
imshibagel
I honestly wouldn't, knowing it's an anomaly and risking fat people think they can do the same then they have heart attacks
TrueNorthernLights
It would depend on the person. I know a hefty lady who has a VERY strong heart.
ashmenon
Exactly, anomalies. It's like how SOME kids would have the brains to know not to try stupid stuff at home, but you still had to be careful >
ashmenon
> about warning them anyway.
YoungJables
Lol i just want to meet these people everyone references in comments. "Saw it in a game that means i can do it also!"
imshibagel
Maybe you werent around during the prime of Jackass and swordfighting neckbeards
YoungJables
Jackasses appeal was that they were joe average. Anyone could do it. I don't know anything about sword fighting neckbeards.
OhFuckItWasTaken
OneBarWarrior1
MeantoChildren
@poopfrosting
GodEmperorOfImgur
The request was doing "All that assassin acrobatics" Doing one backflip is not really what assassins do, Try Urban parkour instead.
GodEmperorOfImgur
Now show him doing urban parkour, jumping from roof top to roof top for hours on end.
Nyet97
R.i.p
Raidenn
*grabs beer*
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
Now show me running a marathon without breaks.
HelloMax
That's a man tho...
plainoldfool
For one, IIRC, he was a cheerleader earlier in life. He trained to do this stuff while he was physically capable of doing so. It's (1)
plainoldfool
not like he started when he was heavy. I'm a fat dude and I wouldn't be able to do this unless I cut weight. Second, he ded.
TheMightyAku
FOR NARNIA
asspickle
yeah but hes dead
GamermanRPGKing
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/IdJzwpRiJ17zeKjVzH5WsOWLef2cE4JQ-zWODqCbUNV_iWAvKnlswwd40KvfbBU4g_AEGJo=s131
TheMightyAku
FOR NARNIA
effigyoma
Hah! I freakin' new this one was coming. It's possible for someone to have both muscle and fat.
ZachPutland
I didn't see any fat gymnasts or runners in the Olympics
brainplay
Yes but while muscle is heavy it still propels you while fat is just dead weight. The amount of extra muscle needed is pretty high.
Iamthismoment
This guy learned all his moves when he wasn't fat. Then had a medical problem and is now back into training
Assfullofbread
Why are you commenting such bullshit? That guy died of an overdose a few years ago so shut the fuck up
Iamthismoment
Wow....
codpeace
I can't find any info by googling. All I have to go on is "fat guy back flip dead". Anyone have source?
Iamthismoment
Google "No Excuses tricker "
codpeace
Ty sir! And RIP, sounds like he was a pretty amazing dude.
thecolonels
No he is dead.
OrganicToeFungus
I thought he was dead...
Iamthismoment
Yep, you're right, 2014. Poor dude
jakefromreddit
Yeah, unfortunately.
bonvivantofviolence
What happened?
bearstrike
Only losers quit training when they die
M4rt1nV
The skeleton army: an equal opportunity recruiter!
classicrapeydolphin
Why does it look like he slows down in mid-air?
silverhands
His upwards acelleration drop to 0, And he rotates his legs forwards, pushing his torso back decellerating his horizontal momentum.
ChiefFireTooth
You ever seen the water bottle challenge? well, our bodies are 75% water.
Hetuni
Gravity
danishjuggler21
When you're airborne, all changes in motion occur around your center of gravity.
runechan
His gravity field imparting motion to the Earth slowing him relative to it.
ParticularlyMentallyInsane
All that fat had to catch up somehow
Hooblado
Because he does, he throws his left leg back slowing the rest of his body down mid flip.
ImGonnaGetTheBooty
Air resistance.
BYERE
So much increased surface area.
wlfman
ignore air resistance, it's because higher mass has a higher rotational inertia
Forestsky
.
wlfman
why have you dotted me?!?
DongSayaDae
Evryone does that - you are leaned back when you go airborne, then you land leaning forward - so for a time your upper body doesnt move -
SuperiorPosterior
Making it look like people float in midair when doing those flips - weight matters but its not the main reason it looks awesome doing those.
LoopStricken
Making it look like people float in midair when doing those flips - weight matters but its not the main reason it looks awesome doing those.
DongSayaDae
Making it look like people float in midair when doing those flips - weight matters but its not the main reason it looks awesome doing those.
JohnnyDeppression
Now do a plus sized woman.
RaspyVoicedRapscallion
Gotchu https://imgur.com/OoqykRm
RockmanModelZ
Gotchu
idej
I need more upvotes to give you
Rovenlock
i feel kinda bad for her
ashmenon
Props to her for having the guts to do that on stage though.
DarthZerma
Gotchu
v
EdumamacationUSay
I did a plus sized woman. What should I do now?
plastikb0y
High five
CurlySwede
You forgot to film it, redo the right way
amishcannoli
Do her again, man.
Zokathra
Your mother is at least +++ though.
Koshunae
I think theres a country song about something similar. Double XL, I think
JohnnyDeppression
Broke the cardinal rule of the internet, pics or it didn't happen.
Djmachale1
Do you really want those kind of pictures of OPs mother?
EdumamacationUSay
I don't follow bird rules.