scotsberto
226619
4979
390
Mar 11, 2017 9:05 AM
scotsberto
226619
4979
390
Aibell125
Oh god. I still can't eat tuna. First trimester and I got a scale in my tuna sandwich. Vomit factor 2
DidNotInhale
ImInnocentISwear
Yeah.... pregnancy and kids aren't for me
derekjohn
You forgot the bit about practicing its own dance moves and/or penalty attempts.
grovberg
I dated a girl in high school that kicked her mom in the ribs so hard as a fetus that it bruised mom's ribs and baby never developed 3 toes.
o11c
#15 Nah, I'll just hang around for almost another month.
cheerbaby69939000
Currently pregnant. Can confirm
pazuzu
There it is...
DiggerPlease
Mom humour
IDontKnowHowYouGuysWalkAroundWithThoseThings
30 weeks pregnant here. The bladder one is oh so true. My fetus has a personal problem with my bladder.
imly
For something that just moved in it sure had a lot to complain about
mnit
this just solidifies my repulsion to ever being pregnant
BluffinMuffin
Thank the heavens that my fetus never kicked my ribs I was terrified by the stories I've heard
Stupidasssmile
All true. Fetuses are buttheads and they will dance on your bladder. I'm cool now cause my kids give me tips on games.
CastleIsGreat
Well, that and your blood level increases drastically which sends your kidneys into overdrive. Hence you pee a lot.
MermaidMegan
Pretty sure my fetus is spread eagle in there with a foot stuck in each rib.
noturaveragepunk
Nowadays these little bastards are born with cellphones in their hands
SmooveDoober
incenderylemons
This is how I imagine Gordon Ramsey was born
SilverSnowFlake
I just saw this comment as I'm watching Hotel Hell
twiddlydinkypoo
"GET THIS PIZZA OUT OF HERE WTF"
DiscountUsername
ColoradoGirrl
The foot in the ribs was only slightly less bad then the morning sickness.
maddog033
When I read these I read "Fetus" and Francis and thought it was like a busted pipe or something I got very concerned and confused
MeCapuchin
This is hilarious, laughed for long time. Glass one is really nice
TheAmanda4life
"lol so cute" - Facebook comment. My cousin Jen thought that running while pregnant could give the baby 'shaken baby syndrome' X3
zethlington
These texts are clear red flags. Abort! Abort mission!
garyjwu
Pain underneath your right lower ribs can actually be a sign of developing preeclampsia.
MauvaisVitrier
New phone, who dis?
Fatherdoodle
Who the hell jogs while their pregnant. Damn masochists.
bananapoptard
I didn't even get the sex joke until I read the negative comments
TairaMai
A girl friend in the Army had her baby so high up that on the ultrasound his butt was in her ribcage. 1/2
TairaMai
2/2 At one point she started gasping for breath as the baby moved...
Fartsprinkle
Favourited to show my pregnant sister
VelvetThunder4
Lol me too
PuppysGotPeopleToBarkAtAndThingsToSniff
RIP Fartsprinkle ????-2017
TheEternalGodEmperorOfMankind
Congratz on being a dad!
Fartsprinkle
I have a vagina
mallywanders
Some are a bit inaccurate. The baby should be more concerned with the loud noises from outside. I'm pregnant and my baby freaks out at the
mallywanders
Sounds of vacuuming and dropping things.
MyDixieRekt1911
"Oh thank god, looks like someone is actually going to vacuum in here. Wait..."
Fartsprinkle
Omg lol
SizeOfaChaffinch
NobodySaysThings
OgunTheShogun
ldstrike
Holy crap that was savage
sarkonas
Christmas time is once a year, every critter holds it dear...
Pickapair
"Well this sucks...."
DougDeNasty
Harry Potter casts Fetus Deletus
redjayhawker
Oh Jesus- that was good @mydixierekt1911. Then Bam!!!- your name is good too. You are one funny mother fucker!
Woddee
Oh nooooooooooo
DraccoKnightblade
I admit it, I laughed.
aRepost
PmMeYourFavoriteDinosaur
I for some reason love watching women get hit in the vagina.
ilovereubensandwiches
That was horrible! lol
AintNoCompanionLikeABlueEyedMerle
Source: https://youtu.be/AF_nfazQaek
AbyssinianRem
I appreciate the context.
mischiefcanon
BecauseJapan
There 2 kinds of people in this world
GendouLovesDucklings
What the hell? D: That's not funny, that's just awful. :(
TheFoxSlayer
It's funny. So is a guy getting hit in the balls. Inked it's you :(
TheFoxSlayer
Unless*
ShootingPANDAS
My son was vacuumed. Different meaning though. I wasn't able to push him on my own after three hours. O,o I had to have help. LOL
oheina
I got stuck. They put a plunger-looking thing on my head and had to help pull me out.
RickySpanishhhhh
Pulled me out with tongs.
ElCabaro
They used pliers on me. They used a suction cup on my friend
TitsMcGregor
They just cut me out.
oheina
My mom said my head was weird shaped for about a month after that. All three of her children gave her problems. Poor woman. I got stuck, 1/2
oheina
my little brother tried to be a breach baby and they had to turn him around inside her. And my older brother had the cord around his neck.
YellowHattedOwl
Lmao the snake one took me a sec
Zelkon527
I don't get it.. ;__;
Lizaderp
And you never will...
FrozenFoodGuy
What do people call a guys mini me sometimes?
Zelkon527
._.
FrozenFoodGuy
There you go!
BlueLola
It's daddy coming for a visit ;)
Locaha
I...I thought it was the umbilical cord. Oh God...
Zelkon527
Oh... oh god...