HettWhen
483759
17034
383
My dad always whistled and sang after banging my mom.
Dec 17, 2016 9:46 PM
HettWhen
483759
17034
383
My dad always whistled and sang after banging my mom.
knobcopter
He probably had sex with your mom once.
Striker1945
Sounds you've become a good man OP =)
O0crow0O
Wait until you hear your son singing and whistle...
haltwenty13
Aw that's nice big guy keep that up.
evildadunit
Had sex, doesn't matter
ItsMattyNotDaddy
My man did you think your parents never bamged, not even once?
Eunoterp
Oh snap..just reminded me that my bedroom was in the basement below mom and dads. Early morning grunting, then silence every Saturday. Ewwww
MaggieSmithsSass
They kept you on a dungeon? so sweet of them
Idsertian
"We have done extensive tests, and I'm afraid we have confirmed that your parents have had sex at least once in the past."
Showmeyourotters
Bangers and mash? More like bangers and smash
OrionJC
"And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me He'd grown up just like me My boy was just like me"
SamArt53
Is that you Harry?
BartanicGarden
And it's stuck in my head
DarkWhiteWolf
My Dad would tell us to get out of the house so he could bend my mother over the table, and would usually point out it would be in my spot.
rom65536
Sounds like your parents were happy together. Some people aren't fortunate enough to have parents that want to rub naughty bits.
ISleptWithSomeoneFromImgurAndAllIGotWasThisStupidUsername
MaggieSmithsSass
Who did YOU slept with ?
ialwayswantedalongusername
When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.
HellaFoxyLady
It's the circle of life. And it moves us all!
shockerslights
YoloTomatoJuice
What's the song?
Selerox
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap - ACDC
SamArt53
Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin (1974)
Codedependent
Holy shit. I always thought that was Cat Stevens. Holy shit. My life is a lie.
SamArt53
"My life is a lie" +1. IDOH Easy mistake, we all love cats.
xmaneds
pretty sure it was this song: https://youtu.be/lQlIhraqL7o
UrsaUrsa
Nah, I'm sure it was this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
WhateverFloatsYourVote
Just calculated, one of my brothers was conceived around my moms bday and the other around Christmas. Nothing special about me though!
EmeraldEsq
Ah. I can't wait till "throw your ass in a circle" is an "Oldie but a Goodie"
AfroSamuraiRM
Isn't it, "throw that ass in a circle"?
burgerandy
You know, you know.
itsthevoiceman
Explain?
ItsAllZeroesAndOnes
Not sure, but maybe this?
GuyThatExplainsStuff
It's a song and he's saying he can't wait until it's an oldie, which would be ironic because it's so ridiculous
Snodig
I had no idea that was a song. Getting old, it seems. I thought it originated in text-pranks...
HerrKhan
ShutupMeg83
LetMePickMyTeethThenHaveMoreChips2
Saturday sexy time! Yes.
GrumpyoldBear
Son?
leastfourcharacters
Good mems
Proteus1985
You do realize your parents had to of had sex at least once, right?
TheTimper
I describe my divorced parents relationship as friends-with-benefits so
RoboticTurtle
Maybe. But thanks to medical science today's couples can have kids and remain abstinent! Truly we live in the future.
DrippySpaffMungeBimp
Science doing the Lord's work!
AroAce
Technically that wouldn't be necessary.
Nothing3lseMattaz
You filthy bastard!
DjNeHi
Nah. It was probably the milk man.
bowserbob
As the youngest of 10.....yeah......
upvotehypnotoad
My parents dont have sex bits. I was made in a test tube and incubation chamber. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
xmaneds
who are we to disagree with HYPNOTOAD?
thatpatguy
Just like your dad stuck it to your mom.
samsonguy920
That was the story
electricbugalooii
The time he walked in on them naked wrestling?
WentzofFoles
Ha! I was adopted!
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Even your parents
fpierce1997
Had to HAVE
weeebleswobble
Fucking thank you.
SneezinST
Thank you
SoMuchPooPooSon
You'd be right except for the capitalising of the word
SoMuchPooPooSon
Such downvotes for a silly joke. Sometimes Imgurians can't even take the harmless, unoffensive jokes
UrsaUrsa
If it doesn't seem like a joke, they won't take it as one, try the "/s" at the end of your future jokes to indicate sarcasm
SpecimenSpiff
Gee, wow.
CptJero
Have to have had
azmyth1
Had to've had.
TemporaryUzername
have have have have
Camelspotting
english pls
flowseeker
Yes he had had to have had, hadn't he?
raidleadergutts
James, while John had had "had", had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.
FuckingLoveImgur
Mind blown
radas86
ErectileFunction
I, too, sing and whistle after banging your mom.
SonicBoomYourFamily
His mom whistled after I banged her.
ayeseaturtles
User name checks out.
RunningInCirclesNeverFeltSoGood
Came here to say that
ForgivingCat
But do you make bacon?
Zipp4Real
http://replygif.net/i/1062.gif
RealFakeFactsEveryday
You really have no chill bro
FloppyPankake47
Acera
Your mom whistled after I banged her.
PyroDragon
Same
explodjunk
Wait, do you have a Xbox live gamer tag with same name?
PyroDragon
No
PuckeringButthole
MattChu777
You almost had me with your username.
PuckeringButthole
JetSetGo
+1, but COME ON! Use the one with a proper loop!
v
[deleted]
[deleted]
JetSetGo
??? First off, link? And second, not for me. The transition is smoother than an oiled-up Lando.
Mudgers
I clicked it
PuckeringButthole
nebworb
But do you bang the drum BEFORE?!
cryborg
You are not the only one
cbh3
Don't we all?
lilmookieesquire
Hahahaha this comment got around 50% of your total karma. Nice dog!
ProJunior
DiggerPlease
His mom makes a whistling sound when she walks after I bang her
FranticHalibut
You can always expect this comment on posts like these, yet they never fail to make me giggle
Crommric
SAVAGE
MonkeyAgainstTheUnkown
Salvaje
Crommric
eso si compa
CasualWaterboarding
Set and spike. It's just too damn easy out there, Cotton.
SteveMcCroskey
Boom
LostAmiga
Brodt
You truly do the lord's work.
WhippedMeme
Rip @op
SoMuchPooPooSon
I like to do it during the sex with OP's mum. Adds a bit of character to an otherwise sweaty and animalistic situation
SirMalloryofCoventry
Dad?
HouseUchihasBastard
parree
MrUpv0t3
This guy doesn't give a FOOK!
JupiterJedi
Haha! I low key hate Ops life. What you did this morning is what I dream for my future. I want your life.
FunnyMotherfucker
HAH! This comment has been enjoyed by me, +1!
KoteSilence
Wooooooo
lordomclordo
Savage
GnoHomo
Brutal
glah
Absolutely barbaric!
NiklasHald
Faitality
MACARLOS
Dad?
alovelypintofguinness
FOKKEN Legend
robertrobertwave6992718
iOS funny cancer
mooshartar
irrelevant username
THEBROTHERSCALLMEMASTER
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
RowRowFightThePowa
Got you to 666. I feel a special, Satanic connection with you now, @ErectileFunction.
ErectileFunction
Even though my power has grown far beyond the mighty 666, i won't forget your efforts.
RowRowFightThePowa
Whoa holy fuckin shit it's almost 10x that amount now.
CMcAwesomeville
8,046. I matter! Totally deserved first, top comment
KoteSilence
ThirdTreeontheLeft
User name checks out
Manbehindthemadness
Username sealed the deal
ReverseTransmission
Who doesn't?
upvotehypnotoad
whistle while you twerk
TicklerOfFancies
Same
AlwaysBeenWeird
Hahahaha!
kidswat
I whistle while banging. To each their own.
Zipp4Real
Bridge over the River Kwai?
worldstiniestviolin
This is why you can brag that you never banged the same woman twice
Cravanicus
And to everyone, OP's mom.
Maahes0
You gotta whistle while you work.
PoptartKitten
But do you work while you whistle?
SuperiorPosterior
Nah, she's workin' the whistle.
PoptartKitten
MY MAN. :^) the good ole' SUCCC
teddyboops
Werk?
AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle
I LOL'd
vitaminalgas
Wow...You're fast with your erectile functions
ErectileFunction
Gotta be or someone else will get in there first.
Cherray611
Welp...
soulman901
Is this why the Saviors whistle?
notme222
The neighborhood around OP's mom's house sounds like a goddamn wind tunnel.
robertrobertwave6992718
iOS funny cancer
HelpMyHairIsOnFire1
Or op's mom is generating the windtunnel :)
Darkspire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FK1DCWrW02s
rob0237
That was actually kinda cool. My God I'm boring
Darkspire
We all are. That's why we are here.
rob0237
Touchรจ
gaseousmemes
I started giggling +1
worxharder
I laughed to hard at this comment, freaking gold medalist commentator right there.
tothe9ines
It sounds like nonstop bombs are incoming with all the whistling.
UrsaUrsa
I can hear the Stukas now..
PangolinWranglin
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
BYERE
Where, there is a lot of bangs happening, it seems...
HowLongIsAChineseName
A phil-whore-monic orchestra if you will
BC2k2
Remember: Whores Get Paid. Sluts do it cuz they like it.
[deleted]
[deleted]
IGiveMrsPotatoHead
And bitches do everyone but you
SuperiorPosterior
Sure, I'm game.
Gink0
The rest of my life is now dedicated to finding the opportunity to use this joke irl. I have purpose again, thank you
cricketmozzarella
Try "fill-whore-momic"
AstralBeast808
I will.
MrMaRzZ
I will with you
BC2k2
As will I.
alicatzpjs
Hahaha. Those "oh shit" life moments are always funny.
lagomorpha
I realized one day that my morning farts right after I wake up & go to pee sound exactly like my mothers. She did not like this revelation.
RattleMeBonesRattleRattle
Yeah I've started lashing out and screaming at my loved ones when stressed like my dad would. Life is weird like that...
dootdootfloop
The amount of times ive called my mum to say sorry for things 15 years ago cos i undestand now.
nubblebun
Aw, that's nice of you. I bet she appreciates it.
EhIWonderHowLongAUsernameCanBeLetsFindOutShallWeAaandThereItIs
Like knowing your birthday is 9 months after Valentines
AreYouGonnaBuySomethingNoImJustDancingToTheHumOfYourFridge
All of my siblings are born with 3-4 years between them. I'm the youngest and born 1,5 year after my sister. I was probably not planned lol.
SilverLullabies
My parents are virgins so I don't know what that is like.
wieloryba
Jesus? Is that you?...
imguriaaaan
Denial ftw!
whatupmyknitters
i was born 3 weeks late. recently i realized my birthday is the exact amount of time my mom was pregnant with me after my dad's birthday.
Soulwindow
I did the math a few years ago, I was one day late from being born exactly 9 months from my dad's bday.
FranticHalibut
Same, except wedding anniversary
GoogleFucker
I accidentally did the math one day too. I was born 9 months after my mom moved to the states after marrying my dad.
Tideless
Had the same realization when I did the math and found out my dads birthday is exactly a month before me and my younger sister
Nikolaj
Am I being dense, or would your dads birthday a month before not mean your mom was pregnant for either 1 or 13 months? Explain it to me, pls
itsbre
My parents stayed with my grandparents one weekend so my grandparents could babysit my brothers. 9 months later, I was born.
DumbassLesbian
I'm a vacation baby
KaitlynTheSeaDragon
9 months from Easter, lol
IsDisassembled
I was born end of September. I think I was either a Christmas or YNE baby.
FirefighterCaboose
I'm a wedding night baby.
frodobaggin
I just did the math. Im exactly nine months from my mom's bday. I didnt ask for this knowledge ...
Izael
Damn... Me too
SardonicGrin
Yeah I was born 9 months after Christmas.
whatupmyknitters
heyo fellow virgo!
astronomygeek7
Or Libra. I was born Oct 1st. Either Christmas or New Year's.
LunarFlame
I was born in November. I'm a Valentine's day baby.
FlyingScotsmanYar
At least we know we were made passionately!
LordLittlepants
Me too.
GoogleFucker
Haha so is one of my best friends. We never let him forget it
CloakedGoliath
Like father like son.
chrisdafish
The cycle continues
BustyCrustacean
Not flesh nor fish nor bone
BustyCrustacean
https://youtu.be/TzL-up4ZKgI
ABonkeysManana
Monkey see monkey do.
Mrcuddlesofnorway
Like mother like wife
FlockOfSeagulls25
Like... aunt, like niece?
10tacles
Mrcuddlesofnorway
But do the nips come off?
10tacles
KookyPooBear
judgmentday206
It's almost as bad as when you realize your mom's birthday is just about 9 months before yours is.
Arokthis
Not as bad as when your birthday is the first week or so of October. That means you were a Christmas gift or New Year's party favor.
RandomGliscor
Mom's in September, I'm in May. Does that add up? I'm really bad at math. :/
radassamber
All 3 of my brothers were born 9 months after my moms birthday
KyloyRenkins
Holy shit it's true!
JesusMowsMyLawn
New Year's Eve here.
RevanTheJedi
Why....
ibbadgers
Mine is my dad's, my sisters is my mum's, and my brothers is valentines day. Never thought of it before now xD
drbloodbathmc
I was a pre-me and my b-day is just under 9 months from my dad's bday......fuck
Tallbbwgal
Oh my gosh, my birthday is 9 months after my dad's. I feel dumb.
NEClamChowderAVPD
I was born 9 months after my sister's birthday...I feel weird now.
LordDeSeis
Dad's birthday for me. To the day.
Kevincatalan
OH MY GOD
Schnackbar
You just shattered my whole reality.
f1photog
Oh dammit. My birthday is nine months from my mom's and my sister's birthday is nine months from my dad's. Craaaaaaaappp.
JustAnotherScientist
My mothers birthday is nine months before mine, to the day
Happypillsforeveryone
My son is in that situation!
GuessWho7197
I had a friend whose birthday was exactly 9 months after Valentine's Day. Once we discovered this we never stopped giving him shit about it.
figuringeights
I JUST realized this...
KGirl82
FFS, why did I just do the math on this? My birthday is just shy of 9 months from my Dad's birthday.
Dwinthy
Why did you do this to me?
darkoneko
...fuck. FUCK. god damnit you're right ! >_<
NoBeardTheIrate
We have cold winters where i live. All four of us kids have summer birthdays.
torsionspace
lol. I was 2 months premature... and it still works out.
chrislilley9
OH. MY. GOD.
EmilysMan
3/14... pie day?
TheInfernalContraption
Almost, but from the other side - My birthday is August, Dad's is November.
Sdream55
My brothers bday is 9 months after my moms! Hahaha!
RopeJokesAreKnotFunny
It makes sense now why I'm 6 years from my sister...
Forunth
I'm born 9 months after valentines day...
jevans88
Ha! My son was conceived a month after we got married. No where near our birthdays or Christmas or Valentine's Day and not a honeymoon baby
SurroundedByAPileOfCats
I have a cousin who quite likely conceived on her wedding night. The baby came almost exactly nine months later.
chrislilley9
OH. MY. GOD.
luxerae
My mom moved to the US a full year before my sister & dad followed from the Philippines. My birthday is nine months after they arrived lmao.
StarkRG
Well that was lucky!
Atomsk
Good thing my parents never had sex. So awkward!
Zahnradfee
My birthday is one day after my father's. I was a birthday present.
gljames24
Same here
NotActuallyaFag
I guess my mom just had a crazy summer full of regrets 9 months prior to my birth.
UltimateAlloy
NO
Iastfan112
Sister and I are both Christmas. On the plus side I have a bunch of friends with late Sept birthdays as well and ruined it for them too.
NotThatPoshWine
Oh my god, did the math, it adds up.
thatbaldguyswife
Omg me too!!!!! I've never realized it before :/
skipperpop2525
I was a christmas present. Sep 25. EXACTLY 9 months.
TheSpaceWizard
Shit, so was I. Sep 25. Never realized.
ImaginationJuice
Even better, how about your brothers birthday is 9 months before yours.
KayGriMi
My conception was August I guess since I was born in May... No relevance, no holidays, no birthdays, they were just fuckin. I'm not special
GwenShepard1
Same
bootitty
New year's bangalang baby
spodersnek
Or when your birthday is in November/December, and 9 months before is Valentines Day.
TheWorldsGreatestPlagueDoctor
My girlfriend was born on 14 November, exactly 9 months on valentines day valentines day.
Kraj71
I'm early August. Guess that makes me a Halloween baby.
StarkRG
I'm also a Valentines baby. My brother and sister are my dad's birthday and, according to our mum, were the result of taking MDMA.
BiteTheHandsThatThieve
Please tell me your sister is named Molly.
StarkRG
lol, no, that'd have been awesome.
misterflibbertyjibbet
I always thought September babies were Christmas presents and November babies were Valentines gifts
BiteTheHandsThatThieve
I'm a new years celebration i think.
LunaChic
My birthday is 09/30, one time my dad was drunk & told me I was his Christmas present...yeah
Mrperfle
I'm a September baby ????????????
darkoneko
in my case, both.
Freso
Your birthday is in both November and December?
darkoneko
My mom was born in february 14th.
TheDreadPirateRobinSparkles
Mid-December is 9 months after St Patrick's Day. I'm really hoping my son never figures that out.
StarkRG
It's closer to 9.5 months (280 days) but I'm pretty sure there's a fair amount of variability, so I'd say 9-10 months
TheDreadPirateRobinSparkles
Here's what I know: December 10 is at the due date end of the St Patrick's Day shenanigans.
StarkRG
268 days, seems like a reasonable margin for error. Although, did you just imply that you didn't have sex at any other time around then?
misterflibbertyjibbet
I was a valentines gift...
MarquisDeLard
Me too :-)
donteatme
I was born on Valentine's...
hajirah
Who else started counting 9 months after their mom's birthday to check?
AreThoseMyPants
My dad's cakeday was 3 months after mine.
HighSlayerRalton
He became an Imgur user 3 months after you?
AreThoseMyPants
Whoops, brainfart. Meant to say bday.
animatic
Let's see. Nearly 8 months, but I was a solid 2 months preemie.
MidLifeChrysler
My parent's anniversary is nine months to the day from my birthdate. Dad takin' care of business.
firesword14
Same here!
DeathtyOneDeathtyTwoDeathtyThree
I just realized I'm an anniversary baby, my bro is a Christmas baby, sister is a bday baby.
Lulumegan
Brother and I have birthdays about a week and a half apart (different years, of course)...about 9 months after parents' anniversary. Yeah.
MyCatsNameIsWaldo
Oh no. I just did the math..fuck. I'm in the same boat. ;_;
tangybreath
So is mine... but it's my mom and my step-dad's anniversary...
jantzie
Ditto. :)
jekath
Had my oldest waited 4 days, she would have been born exactly nine months after I married my ex.
dogsi
My wife got pregnant with our oldest on our honeymoon. She got pregnant the second time the first time we had sex after our oldest was born.
Surrenadee
I'm a 4th of July spark.
9point3x62
Same here. Born exactly one year and nine months after my parents got married.
BumblyWumbly
Or your birthday is nine months after one of the dates that one of your parents was deployed.
redshadow1000
I'm a valentines day baby *shudder*
DefinitelyNotSatan
Eyyy, same. November birthday.
ruarc
Fuck off... I'm a THANKSGIVING DAY baby.
ToasterHawk
I think i was new years baby. My dad was 20. Which is how old i am now.
redshadow1000
So what you're saying, is that your dad gave your mom a little extra stuffing with her turkey that year
IOnceOwnedMoonMoonButOnceHeTriedToLickMyBallsAndRanAwayIMissHim
LMAO I am guffawing here :D
srslydude
I'm an...August baby. What the hell were they thinking in Florida in August?
redshadow1000
End of summer sex?
zrhay
4th of July here. They always said it's why I'm spunky like a firework.
IOnceOwnedMoonMoonButOnceHeTriedToLickMyBallsAndRanAwayIMissHim
Hehe, spunk
Audi0Ghost
Drunken St. Patty's day baby
INeverThoughtIdMakeThisAccount
.......................................Oh...
Ohjeezwell
Or when you realise you're a September baby and you were a drunken Christmas party mistake. I'm good, I was late August
usernamenolongeravailable8
That's always the best secret Santa gift; the white Christmas
Ohjeezwell
Ivellius
What if you were born after only 8 months..?
Ohjeezwell
Xmas work party
AnaCadabra88
So Thanksgiving?
Ohjeezwell
I'm English, I don't understand
AnaCadabra88
.... Drat, nevermind.
HilariousPepperoni
Pregnant with my first. Doctor tells me that it's technically not 9 months. It's actually 10 months of pregnancy, aka 40 weeks. Mind blown!
StarkRG
Months are longer than 40 weeks. It's 280 days with some variation.
Ant4N
Which is how many months were originally in the calander. o.0
Webelos8
Because we usually never know the first four weeks
StarkRG
No, it's because 40 weeks is closer to 9.5 months
InstructionsIncluded
I feel bad for your offspring
LazyJones1
What? 40 weeks is 9 months. Not 10.
HilariousPepperoni
From what he explained, in the medical world it's typically 10 months. He also said it depends on each pregnancy though.
LazyJones1
They must be measuring by moon calendar.
HilariousPepperoni
Fuck if I know. I show up to make sure everything's good
ThelostWorldofAtlantis
Uh...4 weeks in a month. 40รท10=4.
pixelsnader
40 weeks is 9.2 months (on average) Not 10. http://m.imgur.com/YM8ork0
futuralon
52 divided by 12= 4 and one third, the average month.
Ivellius
But the only month that is actually 4 weeks is February. There are 13 weeks every 3-month period. Therefore, 40 weeks is just over 9 months.
LazyJones1
But not 10.
LazyJones1
Ignoring February every month has ~ 4.4 weeks on average. 4 weeks is only 28 days. What comes after december 28?
LordStarkillerHimself
Mardi Gras
Trumpcard814
On average, 0 months have 4.4 weeks. :p