nick2pick69
233405
5007
310
Sep 2, 2017 9:43 AM
nick2pick69
233405
5007
310
Cereaza
Hey. In Medieval times, the butt was the cleanest hole. Maybe it was just logical dick wetting.
Zixtank
So he is Renly Baratheon?
PileOfWalthers
This is nearly as retarded as the "Einstein was stupid" meme.
turbodog
I detect in comments a certain amount of butthurt. Perhaps so did good King James.
MillenialJesus
When not torturing suspected witches and persecuting Catholics, King James spent his time with his gay lover.
1YellowButterfly
Interestingly, in the Bible it talks about soul mates only once and it's the bond between David and Jonathan (king Soloman's son)
FunAlternativeFact
Would up vote for content, but had to down vote for fucking up the title. -1
mdzmdz
King James is the one Guy Fawkes tried to blow up
SirBrendan
King James only took offence with the word, 'up'.
rainbowblow
well.... he was known as John the beloved :P
VictarionsCrispyArm
komnenoi
He was king of Scotland first
Bennings
Edward II favored his boyfriend in court and as a result the gentry hunted him down and killed him.
Rakkndon
Love is love. Who am I to tell two people they cant love each other.
SammichBro
.
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
And James was packing: "I naturally so love your person, and adore all your other parts, which are more than ever one man had"
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
Wrote Buckingham in a letter. James called him wife.
Bangerangerang
This is why I love this site.
thediscoBiscuits
.
LetumComplexo
They prefer the term "hetero life partner".
987654321111
What's also hilarious is historians keep trying to deny this calling his relationship with his courtiers ambiguous when it's clearly sexual
GyroPunk
Which historians
987654321111
If you look at his wiki page it says things on the lines of 'king James and duke villers would kiss and tumble but this could be non sexual'
GyroPunk
Mate I'm gonna need a better source than wiki
Andalite
How do you fuck up the title? Please explain
shishaonthewindow
Easily
GetAssista
To fool @RepostStatistic title similarity check )
[deleted]
[deleted]
Allrighty
It's not. OP mixed up King James with George Villiers.
UncleMeaty
So you're saying my Bible has the wrong name too? It's actually the King George Version?
ProgeriaProstitutes
You mean... like the earl of Doncaster?
MKNIGHTMARE
Exactly like the Earl of Doncaster!
VulpineEmpress
That great radish? That steaming great left-footer? The Earl of Doncaster who has been riding side-saddle since he was seventeen?
Hoiloidl
All the +1s I can give for the Earl of Doncaster!
intaglioguy
Imagine if they had a lover's spat. King James would be, "I'm bestowing on you a new title: Baron Microdick."
simiaflem
"I'm King James, bitch!" -King James, probably.
PassionateIndifference
How did he change the Bible?
Aquilarden
Gentleman of the Bedchamber does not mean "male concubine." This is making vast assumptions based on modern contexts. Classic Tumblr.
Munchman347
Isn't that why he was given the title, to imply he was just a trusted attendant and not a bed mate?...
Aquilarden
Yeah, but these people are claiming it means "fuck buddy" which is absurd.
MomToldMeToOpenImgurSoIDid
"John, I the son of God command you to part your buttcheeks just like Moses parted the red sea " - Jesus according to King James
Lurkerdraegon
Hahahahahaha I felt my soul getting chained to hell for laughing at this... Thanks!
MomToldMeToOpenImgurSoIDid
Glad I made you laugh m8
GitRightStik
With a giant wooden staff?
MomToldMeToOpenImgurSoIDid
Yanov
Yeah, maybe don't just presume that when historical people talk about "love" they talking about the same thing we understand to be "love".
stygyan
They had a secret passage linking both bedrooms. Those guys were having sex, Steven.
Yanov
Oh, probably, but we should not presume that when he said to his privy council that he "loved" George that he meant our modern concept 1/2
Yanov
2/2 of romantic love. You need to understand this in the context of Plato's discourses on love, which were influential at the time.
Yanov
The fact he was referencing Christ, also, makes it far more likely he was claiming the relationship was what we'd call Platonic today.
ohdeepthought
Escapades of king George but everything is about king James...
raspberry
Pretty sure it was a joke name to combine the two.
JustCallMeBean
Obviously George was the king, because James was such a Queen.
StevenAlequin
Op made their point though.
Infospy
Autocowreck?
hansolongdingdongtralala
After getting hit in the head by his teacher, he went crawling to the principal
ThePerfectTemperatureForHeresy
Oh what the fuck
iamwang
difficultdifficultlemondifficult
ohdeepthought
MFuzzySmock
ProphetTenebrae
Maybe OP meant to say Queen George?
simplynacht
*queer George
ohdeepthought
bruudwin
Maybe OP meant to say Queen Boy George?
spattr
George Michael.
wienerpolice
Maybe OP meant to say Queen Boy George Michaels?
neil137
Ok, how much of it was true?
diobrandodidnothingwrong
Pretty much. He had both a wife and a gay lover though the marraige was arranged so I guess you could call him gay
APersonofSomeDescription
Maybe was gay romance, maybe was amazing bromance. Who knows?
DrippySpaffMungeBimp
King James being gay is absolutely not true. It is more likely he was bisexual, as he had seven children with his wife. And the word 1/2
SirBrendan
Dude, being gay doesn't stop us from having kids in the modern context. For a 17th century monarch, being an octopus wouldn't stop them.
JesusOnAPogoStick
Well if you're the king you aren't gonna not have heirs because you're gay, back then having kids has nothing to do with orientation.
Qualtagh
I guess 7 could be pushing it though? But maybe this was back when child mortality was high.
Overload96
right. but the kids plus the fact he loved his wife to the point of writing poems and sonnets for her, cherishing her deeply, is indicator.
Overload96
which is apparently unusual for kings, to show that deep of a love in public for their queen.
Ryugarika
true, but most of the things mentioned are normal things. Friends were often gentlemen of the bedroom, not a sexual thing at all (usually)
DrippySpaffMungeBimp
"love" back then was used very often in other contexts than a romantic one. A book written by James (Baskilion) condemns sodomy.
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
Probably for the plebs only. He was the fucking king so he could choose who the king be fucking and who be fucking the king.
flamingflamingo
He's not necessarily bisexual. If you're a king you NEED heirs. You cant make heirs with a dude. And back then, male lovers were considered>
flamingflamingo
auxiliary. You sleep with a man because you enjoy it. You get married (to a woman and only to a woman) because you must. And a gay man >
flamingflamingo
having sex with a woman is certainly possible, with multitudes of precedent.
ProphetTenebrae
I can never fathom why people aren't interested in history - so much glorious insanity. Also, a lot of needless brutality.
dengarsdingus
Start tearing down statues and a lot of people suddenly become interested in history.
dobbythehouseelf
It's because history was taught to me in a not so interesting way. Listening to a boring lecture is a lot different than a cool documentary.
Gurablashta
Revel, revel in the glorious, recurringly chaotic mess that is human history
IHaveAboringLifeYouThinkYoursIsMoreBoringButYoursCantBeatMine
Insanity and brutality, "i like it"
Metals4J
Genghis Khan, anyone? He was, um, "prolific." It's estimated that one out of every 200 men in the world are related to him.
DickMercenary
"There are trees that are descended from Genghis Khan" -Patton Oswalt
Metals4J
Source: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2010/08/1-in-200-men-direct-descendants-of-genghis-khan/
zamuy12479
for so long it was difficult and exhausting to learn about, now it's becoming easier and you're seeing a rise in interest. society changes.
Mechwarrior719
Violence is always the answer when the question is "what is history full of?"
Dontaskjeeves
Don't forget money. Precursor to violence.
rageishere71
Maybe because most schools leave out the good parts out of history...
Dontaskjeeves
I passed my AP History exam in highschool with the best score bc I crammed by reading a book about ' American untold history'. Might not be
Dontaskjeeves
The exact name of the book, but the interesting/scandalous facts helped me remember and relate to the mundane. ( Life=history=relatability)
Porecomesis
The history we're taught in schools turns us off the rest of history. We're shown only the twatting about that plagues media today.
FromTheHeartOfIgnoranceICommentAtThee
It's all by accident, I am sure.
nclu
I think the gossip is what's missing from history class. Early teens would be way more into who's fucking who and absurd petty jealousy.
Nikolai5
I did, WW1, WW2 with focus on rise of Hitler and him as a person. Vietnam war, Korean war, cold war. That was secondary school.
Nikolai5
Primary school was more old English kings, bonfire night, ancient Rome and Greece, stuff like that.
RNeao
I just remember we suddenly went from dope Mesopotamia and ancient Rome to boring-ass American history.
BarbraManatee
All I remember is every year we would start with Columbus and end at the Revolutionary War, then next year, we'd start over...
Tywinning
We did a section on Ovid in English class at some point, no one wanted to because "ew poetry". A couple weeks later and most were hooked lol
Tywinning
Granted this was New Zealand, maybe the states is different
RNeao
That's mythology, right? I actually really like ancient Greek mythology, never did it in school tho. DL'd story collections on my own.
Myniggathatwasdeep
Im very interested I just dont know where to start lol
SparrowBird5000
If you have a particular interest, start there! Egypt? Victorian England? China? Start at your specific interests (religion, as an example)
SparrowBird5000
and branch out. There's really no rules, and YouTube and Netflix really have some great documentaries, if you'd prefer to watch over read.
forobservation
Crash Course is an alright source. Not perfect or always entirely correct, but a good start for the basics of everything.
Myniggathatwasdeep
japan. Just start reading on wiki?
DamnYouMongorians
Pick a period that fascinates you, then start with the period just before it. The context shows you how the awesomeness of your chosen...
DamnYouMongorians
period came about and makes it shine brighter IMO.