Bad watermelon...

May 19, 2020 9:03 PM

tractorist

Views

100513

Likes

1493

Dislikes

37

That's how grandpa got his bruises

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I feel like old people shouldn't do that kind of shit. They are old enough to know better.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What? No, this is an amazing watermelon! It's the table that's bad.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Put. Down. The. Knife.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Table made in America.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Seems like a good sturdy melon to me, that table, on the other hand...

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Banzi!

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not enough rubber bands

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is what happens when you fix your table with ramen and super glue.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Must have been made in china!

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Grandma power!!!!

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I imagine a sawing motion would have been more effective.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is hilarious. Anyone know what she said after the shatter? Sounds like cursing haha

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

her face was all like "shit, i hope mom doesn't notice"

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is why we sharpen our knives. This is why we don't use sharp knives on surfaces like THAT. They can't stay sharp.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

...Aaand in the end, she continues slicing that melon over the shattered table

5 years ago | Likes 176 Dislikes 1

Commitment!

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

What else is she supposed to do? Not finishing cutting it.

5 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

When life gives you melons, DESTROY THE TABLE!

5 years ago | Likes 87 Dislikes 1

I cannot see any issues here...she got the knife out...

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

pinched the blade, need to release the pressure

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Grandma did not expect the weight of the watermelon. Forget that it is a glass top.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don’t mess with Granny.

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Life hack. Put 100’s of rubber bands around middle of melon to prevent this from happening.

5 years ago | Likes 83 Dislikes 1

Reference stood I that under.

5 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Dang that's fresh.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

5 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Need. Moar. Juan. Paunch!

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Table "made in China"

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Table was made in China

5 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 0

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But also:

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This comment too.

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Not Grandmas fault. In her day a table was actually a table.

5 years ago | Likes 816 Dislikes 3

i bet she hated that table and was looking for an excuse to replace it

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Men were real men women were real women and small furry creatures from alpha centauri were real small furry creatures from alpha centauri.

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Not in fuckin china

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

She shouldn’t have bought one made in China.

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Yeah, back her day she could get plowed by all the guys in the neighborhood and the table wouldn't even shake

5 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 5

5 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

Not talking about your mum here tho....

5 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Shots fired.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh, I was talking about my grandma. Hedonism runs in the family

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Black dude in uniform nodding.gif

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My Man!

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This. Materials are shit nowadays. We still have tables in my family that belonged to our great great grandfathers. Strong AF

5 years ago | Likes 119 Dislikes 1

Where are you buying furniture? My tables are wood

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's not always about making things poorly. If your table is made of glass, you can't smash a watermelon in it. But it looks nice (to some)

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Survivors bias. Only quality stuff lasted. So we don't see how much shitty stuff their used to be.

5 years ago | Likes 96 Dislikes 1

Correct! There's plenty of shit antiques.

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well, that is a good point indeed.

5 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 0

It's nice when someone reads a good point and doesn't fight back. I never would have thought of that either

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Makes you wonder how much will last made nowadays.

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

True but there wasn't any plastic in those days

5 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

plastic doesn't mean inferior quality. Plastic can be more durable than steel.

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Plastic has advanced so much in the last 20 years as far as durability is concerned. I was more referring to the cheap crap most 1/2

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Like that story of the army guy studying planes that came back from battle.

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

WW1 and helmets are an amusing one. When helmets got issues head injuries sky rocketed. Commanders thought they were unsafe and ordered them

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

To be removed. The reason for increased injuries was due to people surviving otherwise fatal injuries. Not because the helmets were bad

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Kind of, but also when things were made of hardwood and cast iron it was better than all the thin brittle plastic and OSB of today

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That was the good stuff. Not a lot of people could afford it. Thin copper was a lot more common and cheap soft woods

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We only recognize what's survived, like cast iron and hard wood. Because a lot of cheaper stuff wouldn't survive the abuse over the years

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0