Ha ha, not all heroes wear capes

Feb 20, 2018 2:56 PM

jbrontey

Views

204824

Likes

4529

Dislikes

126

credit to @Ben_T_Johnson
source: https://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2018/2/19/17027448/winter-olympics-curling-beer-canada

Curling isn’t boring, I just LIKE to be drunk

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I’ll be honest. That’s not where I thought that title was going

8 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

It's no mystery how he got such a baddy for a wife.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

On the flip side, his wife is an absolutely incredible curler. Seriously, her team is awesome.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Awww...he's probably so nervous for her. I started having a beer or 2 right before my kid's big gymnastics meets. Takes the edge off.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Yeah but that is about 6pm (the day before) Canadian time which is way past happy hour.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

those aren't even full sized beers; let the man do as he pleases.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

The best part is that when he was walking in with those Japan forfeited , game over , now he has to pound them and go .

8 years ago | Likes 73 Dislikes 1

1s for this wife then.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Remember too that Canadian beer is brewed stronger.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

one of us!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You don't know that he doesn't wear a cape. You don't know his life.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ah I love my snowy cousins - an Australian

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

But what’s the time zone difference?

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Did somebody say double fisting?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

you don't have to be drunk to enjoy watching curling, but it helps.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Its not 9 am in china its beer o clock in canada

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Canadian breakfast.

8 years ago | Likes 201 Dislikes 1

Irish handcuffs.

8 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 0

Nice

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hahahah never heard that one. Good shit Ireland.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Rachel homan's husband I believe

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

And her team already had won when he showed up with his double.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hmm why my brains pictures different image, when reading "double-fisting"...

8 years ago | Likes 216 Dislikes 3

I imagined him with his fists inside of beer steins, wearing them like mittens.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ya, this would have been even funnier if he was the husband of one of the men's team.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 5

8 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Don't fist bump him, he's porn legend Johnny shit knuckles

8 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I guess you never played Edward 40 Hands in college.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Guess you never took 2 fists to the bum in college.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This dude can double fist me anytime...

8 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Calm down Kermit

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Ha, my sister found that double-fisting means something very different to Aussies than Canadians. She was drinking with Aussies, I think

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Exactly how did she find out?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

At a bar with her vacation group with an Aussie that came back with two drinks,his shocked expression led to a discussion of the differences

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well, 9:00am in Korea is not 9:00am in here in Canada

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

His shirt looks cool, anyone know where I can buy one?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Perhaps Hudson’s Bay Company? They design the athlete’s outfits. They’re on the web.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thank you, I appreciate the response and I'll look it up later

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You had me at double fisting.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Sure, he has four beers before 9AM and he's a hero, I do it and suddenly I'm not qualified to drive a school bus anymore.

8 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 1

Username checks out

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9am in Korea is somewhere between 3 and 8pm the day before in Canada (depending on the region)

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Idk why people think it's all proper and whatever. In Sochi they ran through 20,000+ condoms in the first week.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Is that considered doping? Cause I hear it is rampant in curling.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Isn't he the husband of a curler, and not a curler himself?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yup. Skip, Rachel Homans husband.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wasn't it last Olympics where Canada put beer machines everywhere and if you scanned a Canadian passport it gave you a beer?

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

It was a beer ad campaign, and it's too bad that our namesake beer is so terrible

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I have nothing against Canadian. Easily chugged.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

just as bad, 80% of what our microbreweries produce is hops blasted IPAs

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

True, I used to like IPAs but most are over the top, I just stick with Goose Island if I feel like an IPA now.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh, come on. Molson is alright for a macrobrew.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Hahaha I’m not drunk, I’m just Canadian. Sounds about right. As a Canadian i did that on Saturday. Then went for a swim

8 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 3

Did that and theb went for a skate yesterday!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Nice!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

He's on vacation. Drinking at 9:00 AM on vacation is allowed.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I count any day off as a vacation. Not gonna do that when I’m working hahaha

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Always have a couple at the ODR aswell

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 356 Dislikes 1

WOahman that's a HOEman

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ben's burn was savage

8 years ago | Likes 107 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 1

DamSon.jpg

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Just like bowling, you need to be at the same level of drunk as you were when practicing.

8 years ago | Likes 775 Dislikes 4

Me playing beerpong

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Jazz music also. There are musicians that can't play while sober

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

"Holy shit, THIS is what I sound like? Where's the fuckin' bottle?"

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I used "Sense memory, simulated perception, altered-consciousness memory retrieval" last time I lost my car

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just like in how high, study high, take the test high, get high scores...

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

He's not performing, just watching

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He is representing Canada in its glory

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And pool.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

So true.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lots of folks hitting the booze well before noon at the state level pool tournaments.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And darts

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

He wasn't performing, though. Right?

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Just like Randy Marsh.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No he's just married to an athlete.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

If his wife wins he will be

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

State-dependant memory is a thing.

8 years ago | Likes 122 Dislikes 0

That's why I'm always drunk when I study and take tests

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah so remember don't practice in Oregon if the competition is in Arizona.

8 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 0

I have to depend on Illinois for my memory? I'm fucked.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yup, drunk is the only time I can play certain games well!!!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

so i’m actually better at pool when i’m buzzed?

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Likely yes

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I'd even postulate that state dependant memory isn't the only reason. Lowered inhibition leads to bigger risks, which can lead to sucesses.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Obviously there's some swing in the opposite direction for poor risk calculation

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0