MoochoLotso
44360
1778
113
How to build the perfect burger
Feb 29, 2016 3:53 PM
MoochoLotso
44360
1778
113
madetheaccountjustforyou
Wrong, wrong, and wrong. Dabbing doesn't take 4.5 grams of oil off a slice, turkey sandwiches aren't burgers, and you fry wings after baking
Kidiri
TIL I have 0.447 slices of pizza per day.
Frazzledragon
These charts are so condescending. I don't appreciate being told how to eat.
tboing
This post made me more angry than a post about pizza, burgers and wings ever should!
usernaimunavailable
I blot my pizza.Not bc I care about calories,I just don't like greasy pizza
slidethisdickinyabumbum
You gotta toss the sauce in a frying pan for wings or they will be soggy and gross, never in a bowl.
bardock
who only eats 12 wings? thats a fucking appetizer
knickknacksnackery
The problem with that first one is that you assume I only eat 164 slices of pizza per year.
Ispentthelastfewyearsbuildingupanimmunitytoiocanepowder
I once had a friend's reach over and dab my pizza and tell me it would help me lose weight. We are no longer friends.
kiDDarknessssS
How much fucking pizza you think I eat? Fuckin A if I wanna lose weight I'll grab a fuckin carrot.
clearwall
Jalapenos on a burger...DV mode ACTIVATE!!!
hewlejd
If anyone was curious about the first one, i did the math. That's about 163.2395061728395 pieces of pizza per year. Seems legit.
thefanaticals
Pickled onions on a burger is so magically delicious. +1
dotes
you dabbing cocksuckers will ruin pizza with your bullshit agendas
ajsolaire
qaaaaa
http://imgur.com/N0cPlWn
depressedkidwithnofriendsandnolife
I tried to dab my pizza nothing happened
jsktrogdor
A slice of pizza is way more than 117 calories. Even just plain cheese is like 180. Add toppings and you're up into the 200's & 300's.
DogsEatDogfood
Cheese varies a lot in fat content, but 180 kcal in cheese is something like 40-60 g of cheese. You do not put 40 g of cheese on one slice.
moistocity
I always knew blotting was the way of the future
ninjanoel
Spinach, on a burger?!
LondonerBoy
Spinach leaves. So much tastier than soggy lettuce. Trust me on this.
ImNotSureBut
Turkey burgers are trash change my mind.
TakeItToTheHouse
I'd rather have an extra two inches on my waistline than be the kind of insufferable bitch ass who dabs.
TheFriendlyPineapple
Well, now I'm having turkey burgers tonight. Turkey burger, Gouda cheese, butter lettuce, red onion, avocado and lemon garlic aioli.
midnightpain
Whoever made the burger infographic is full of shit.
margaritaville
Right? No way half that crap is going to stay on the burger for a second.
midnightpain
Exactly!
bluedeanie
this infographic looks kind of nice, that way I know it's trustworthy and can believe it despite not sourcing any of its weird claims
bluedeanie
also, waist lines are measured in pounds, fascinating
madmattz
I had the same thoughts
RPGSilver
I was so confused with the dab pizza thing I thought it was a joke at first
redhatbluehatonehattwohat
Yeah, I don't believe it either. What about the 30% of napkin that dabbing leaves behind?
StonesOnTheHill
Fiber, m'boy. Delicious, nutritious fiber. Makes your shit pop out in perfectly formed pellets, hard as wood, every hour, on the hour.
sandwichmunchies
i was like okay...how does cannabis reduce fat? what else are they hiding from me!
smartslacks
I'm sorry but *NO,* that is not how you cook wings.
WhatAreYouHourly
If they aren't deep fried I don't wanna hear about it.
smartslacks
EXACTLY. Are we heathens to use such slow and unfattening cooking methods? 11min @ 350F hot peanut oil. Dunk in Frank's and butter after.
madmattz
The perfect burger contains both pizza and fried chicken.
LimeMime565
Hopefully boneless
MotherofMrFace
and an egg
LetMePickMyTeethThenHaveMoreChips2
Same goes for perfect pizza.
Lurd
It contains pizza?
LetMePickMyTeethThenHaveMoreChips2
Yes
whopper68
You're the hero we deserve
IFUCKEVERYTHING
Im so hard right now
MoochingSloth
Relevant
HeWentToJaredButNotJaredFromSubwayCuzHeDidBadStuffImJared
Bonus Fact: Blotting pizza not only reduces calories, but flavor as well.
JFOsho
I think you mean dab you commie.
Ispentthelastfewyearsbuildingupanimmunitytoiocanepowder
And your ability to make friends.
AxelSss
I'm already eating Turkey Pepperoni.
grogthecaveman
If I order pizza, it is not because I'm on a diet. It's because I want pizza
Ihavesomethingtosay
Only if you like the taste of eating straight oil and grease...
RationalDiscourse
Yes...?
CharlieBrookerAteMyShitpeasAndCunk
"Acceptable toppings"? I will put whatever the fuck I like on my burger, thank you very much.
midnightpain
You tell me Charlie Brooker! We want Shitpeas and Cunk on our burgers!
ShabbaLife
thought th
ShabbaLife
e exact same thing
DrGingeBeard
Is anybody else a "plain and dry" person with their burger?
RationalDiscourse
Just ketchup and cheese, man. Thought I'd grow out of it but personally, I hate the texture of vegetables, in general.
RationalDiscourse
Onions are disgusting to me, tomatoes are okay but too watery and weirdly crunchy, and lettuce tastes like nothing but I HATE the texture.
MaddMatter
Eat better quality food. Vegetables can be delicous if the farmer loves their craft.
RationalDiscourse
... nah. I just don’t like the flavor. Period. I’ve had vegetables from $100 a plate restaurants. Better. But still not enjoyable.
RationalDiscourse
Also... this was a comment I made three years ago. I have started AND finished a law degree since I made this comment. (2)
TaintToucher
I'm not counting calories when I'm eating pizza
princesstigerliciaface
i might now tho
Ihavesomethingtosay
I don't do it for the calories, I do it because drinking two tablespoons of oil is disgusting even if there is pizza underneath.
dmax12
Its ok, because the math of the infograph is total bull and doesn't add up at all.
damien309
I usually use the crust to dab up all the oil that came off it. Can't waste any of that goodness.
ferrants
I'd be more interested in the "By dabbing your pizza, you can have X more slices per pie" stat
neongloww
Also, the carbs are probably the same post-dab anyway. Fuck it. Eat the pizza. Accept it.
azazyel
Just counting slices left.
TheDrySideOfThePenny
Plus, only complete dick heads dab their pizza with a napkin.
Corrodias
I, too, enjoy hating when other people do things that I don't enjoy doing. We have so much in common!
TheDrySideOfThePenny
You better not dab that pizza!
thunderjolt
I mean if it's dripping with grease.......
TheDrySideOfThePenny
You're going to suck that grease off baby.
DelilahLyell
You're eating fucking pizza. It's not meant to be healthy.