whatabunchofaholes
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I'm alright. Thanks bud.
This one is probably my favorite. He definitely knows what he wants, probably shouldn't lead with that message though, but I'm no expert!
spookyactionatadistance
Well reading this makes me the king of fucking online dating.
ficklampa
Been trying to date myself, but when I see stuff like this I just give up... and I'm male, looking for female.. :|
ballq
As the guys write these opening lines
tasan
DFW HOLLA!
ItsCrazyTim
Um I didn't realize it was this bad for women... o.o
SpannerInTheWorx
I've heard a ton of horror stories......these are tame
iamnotthrowingawaymyshot
I used to get some really bad messages from girls, if that makes you feel better.
whatabunchofaholes
Oh! You should totally share some examples if you have any :)
MentallyIllDolphin
I am six of these.
TheMoistBandit
So glad I'm not an attractive female. I'm just an awkward male who snacks to often.
FrodoTheDodo
Amen
foxyjetski
Okay most of these are fucked but the Katniss one was pretty funny
themusicman13
My thoughts exactly
thisisnottheusernameurlookingfor
And here I thought I was pretty cringey
TheRationalLion
I also loves the tight pussies.
TemplarAzrael
Holy shit #4 neckbeardy as fuck
HoldMyGlutenfreebeer
Arlington Texas guy here! I say we all meet up at El Arroyo and get margs!
whatabunchofaholes
When?!
HoldMyGlutenfreebeer
This week?? Ill DM you!
HighestHorse
That was a blast.
allthenamesaregone
Hah, few more and you could make your own cringe dump.
whatabunchofaholes
I'm sure I have plenty, these are the ones I've remembered to keep. I usually mass delete all he weird stuff.
Waaahmbulance
Which dating app is this?
SighAndUnZipsGuy
Part of me hopes the people on the other end of these messages are either drunk or a group of guys being jag-offs
sarabearr
"I like the tight pussies :)"
reanbean
Online dating has provided me with some of the funniest messages (and disturbing) I've ever read
SpannerInTheWorx
Ohhhh. Please share the comedy gold
OldAceMerrillUsesDynamite
The best one I've gotten was "I'd like to take you out for coffee and then rape you"
reanbean
Ahaha the worst. Usually I get a "hey" and then "wanna go to a hotel, I just paid for it"
SplashesinPuddles
Indeed, I had one fellow say he wanted to tie me down and fuck me and then have his horse fuck me. I wish I had saved that screenshot.
SaintTsunami
I second the sharing of the comedy gold. Let me live my married life through you
reanbean
Only if you share your married life bc at this rate marriage is a fantasy
SaintTsunami
Sounds fair.
SMHandSmiling
Ok, so i guess that makes me feel better about dying alone...thanks?
SpannerInTheWorx
Perfect gif is perfect
thesarahpowellexperience
CommentMalone
Soooo youre single?
whatabunchofaholes
Very much so
Knowwon
I'm not married or currently seeing anyone, but I still want a piece on the side if you know what I mean.
getyourowntots
Bacon
whatabunchofaholes
PeteHogwollop
I'm so glad I live in the metroplex...
Donnicton
What a coincidence, I live in Fortress Maximus!
SteveTrabajos
Annnnnd that's why I never venture to Fort Worth.
fredfofed
As odd as they sound, at least they got your attention. How many messages have you deleted that just said"Hi. How are you?"
CaseyCase
True. I've been seeing a girl I met on the same app, she said she just ignores those opening messages. First impressions ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Doitforthetshirt
The weirdest one I ever had was a guy who had a fat fetish who requested that I gain a large amount of weight for him...
DocVolt
Ewwwwww
SpannerInTheWorx
I have so many questions.....
Kiore
Feeder fetish, somewhat common.
Doitforthetshirt
The more I read these replies, I do too...
Pommygirl
Check out the Zayan episode of My 600 Pound Life, her husband is a fat fetishist
FrodoTheDodo
He is a feeder
Doitforthetshirt
So they have a term for that?
FrodoTheDodo
Yup, kinda chubby chasers but worse
FrodoTheDodo
Or umm, more extreme
mwppmarauders
Arguably, the Dom guy was just being frank and trying to see if your sexual interests are compatible right off the bat.
HedgehogsAreSoAwesome
I know I saw that I was like yes please. Also I love your username
krixander
Exactly.It's dating app why would you waste time with someone who does not share your sex preferences?
mwppmarauders
Exactly my thought. Whether you're looking for dating or a hookup, you still need to be sexually compatible.
nipplepanties
U WANT SUM FUK?
Kensidian
Your username both worries and intrigues me
SpannerInTheWorx
https://youtu.be/uID5weL61Us - No fuk?
SealOfThePump
I lol'd
Honeybadger2198
Oo wan sum Fec?
ditarantula
pls respond
shinyRK9
gah when
aRepost
tomorow in da scool :)
Kalthramis
Becky use to think my tail was big
jezabellga350
She still does and she wants you back.
SolidestCurve
Ayy bb ya wan sum fuk?
anonymuncle
Would you like some making fuck, BERSERKER!!
catsrn
please please please please please please please please please please please please please please
ParchedGiraffeTails
Ben is a hoe
nokittythatsabadgoddamnkitty
Ron, no.
TheRedBeerd
That's crazy I'm single and live in Ft.Worth :D
sweatyballs6389
Single and in Mansfield!! What what!?
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Cucumbawumba
As someone raised there... you shouldn't be lol!
mibango
I missed you so so bad!
lilgreenstuff
What a coincidence! Me too!
DiedAndHauntingImgur
Well, you've got the L down, but what about the A/S?
whackonmyfapflap
Single and in Addison. Wud up.
whitegirlxing
AYYYYYYY what's up fellow Addisonite?
whackonmyfapflap
Working my life away, never social enough for dating. Pretty sure it's everyone's problem.
lttllmntr
Way better opener than in the post...Well done!
BllackViper
You find her and date her!! She has Batman earrings!!!
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TheRedBeerd
SpannerInTheWorx
Plano! Glad to see I'm not a lone Imgurian around these parts. Who karaokes or otherwise would like to be social?
Deecepticonx
Im not single but need friends. :D
InnocentReever8
Same. Single DFW life FTW
SpannerInTheWorx
Am I the only one that likes the oddity of DFW dating?
InnocentReever8
You must be attractive
SpannerInTheWorx
Not necessarily. I'm the non-awkward weird as fuck. The level of weird in DFW is pleasantly challenging so far.
InnocentReever8
I have many questions. "Pleasantly challenging"?
SlowRoasted
Me too :D except I'm not single!
JobbyJabber
Me too! Except I'm not single or living in Forth Worth.
MyFavoritesAreNice
Austin boi here! Gotta keep that Texas spirit up!
InnocentReever8
Keep it weird
MyFavoritesAreNice
Proud Austinite is proud!
whatabunchofaholes
SplashesinPuddles
TheRedBeerd
Incidentally
I'm a straight guy but even now Matt Leblanc gets me with that.
SpannerInTheWorx
Next, we see the Archer turtleneck and how it can raise the stakes on your "How you doin?"
januskincaid
Tactlneck.
SerArthurDayne151
Now kiss.
RandomHB
BookNerdAlways
Dentonite here
SpannerInTheWorx
What's up Denton?!! What's your newest favorite author to share?
BookNerdAlways
Hugh Howey. The whole wool series is pretty awesome. You?
SpannerInTheWorx
Been trying to decide if I want to fully invest in Brandon Sanderson. He finished Wheel of Time wonderfully.