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FP edit: send reasons to buy condoms!
Aug 27, 2017 9:13 AM
210208
4745
125
FP edit: send reasons to buy condoms!
Brevbomb
This will be my nightmare tonight, I'm 27. Thx OP
user563235
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtmlRE4Iy5Y
ICantComeUpWithAPunnyName
as a teenage boy i litterally dont give a shit about people judging, imma protect myself
IamJustinSane
I like to break the ice and ask them 'if these come in men's sizes'. I smile, they shake their head like they know I'm an idiot. Good times.
DownvotesMakeMeMoist
Just order them on amazon... cheaper and the packaging is just generic.
billdozer86
Any idea where this commercial is from? Somewhere in Latin America?
bestdog
Thankfully when I was a teen they were in coin operated machines in gas station restrooms!
Dartt36
Always enjoyed saying "have fun" as the obvious first timer left. Made their face red as hell.
KaiFromCologne
One day I asked for 50 Condoms. Two girls behind me in the queu chuckled. I turned around staring at them and said loudly 52.
idkalan
If you're ashamed to buy condoms, then you shouldn't have sex at all.
ChiefMasterAirmanFirstClassSelectInCharge
"ᵃᶰᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᶰᵉʷ ˢᶦᶰᵍᶫᵉ ᵇʸ ᴶᵃˢᵒᶰ ᴰᵒᶰᵒᵛᵃᶰ"
Ulthirm
Which is why many colleges and pharmacy's allow you to walk in grab some, a candy bar, buy the bar and leave.
fadecomic
Wasn't this shamelessly stolen from Amazon Women on the Moon? Even the millionth customer part.
Madderrs
I came here to say the exact same thing. Now I'm gonna go watch Amazon Women on the Moon. "Good ol' H2O!"
CosmeChZ
Back when enchufeTV was actually good.
SVcross
IDK, the one about periods was great.
dudz752
As a father, I hope my daughter's boyfriend will choose to buy condoms instead of acting stupid
PinkProzac
I always kept my own stash...can't always count on the other person or account for spontaneity. Teach her that :)
WoefulWombat
I love this. Seen it a million times, still great.
Hiromagi
My girlfriend buys them when she gets groceries. One time I heard her say to the old lady at check out. "It's for my massive dick."
chickeninthebushbush
That's hilarious, sounds like a keeper
LucidAftermath
I remember buying them at a store my buddy worked at, he did a price check and everything to embarrass me. A smoking hot student aid from 1/
LucidAftermath
My school was there. She laughed... I was bright red. She told me I was being smart.
flamingflamingo
I work in retail and a lot of people are so scared of buying condoms that they steal them. I have mixed feelings about this.
Hendlton
I feel like that should be unofficially allowed as long as you don't take more than like three.
BitterSwedeLP
Try buying a pack of condoms and throw them away 10 years later becase they're too old
itislikeitis
Two bros patted me on the back in the pharmacy and said happens to the best of us when they saw plan b.
Skizzlesnap
"I've got these Magnum condoms for my massive dong!" - Frank Reynolds
Begotten
I got my magnum condoms, I got my wad of hundreds, I'm ready to plowwww
Skizzlesnap
bedframe
As someone who uses Magnum XLs, buying them never doesn't feel like "FUCK YEAH BITCHES, YOU'RE NOW THINKING ABOUT MY HUGE PENIS."
buttondick
I just recently started buying Magnums. I thought that they would be way bigger than they are. Only slightly larger than regular.
TheyCallMeDrFeelGood
"Send reasons to buy condoms".. @op 's inbox is now full of pictures of people's children.
SidneyHarbor
Uhhhhhhhhh.... http://getdefault.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Why-dont-you-have-a-seat-over-there.jpg
Leantath
Sauce: https://youtu.be/BtmlRE4Iy5Y
Aleshio98
.
niakaki
Lmao that ending. Did not expect.
ddashizzle
Laces, lol!
AgolfHiller
It's more awkward when the girl at the register is someone you have known since 7 years old
LN2S
That's why you would go to the self-checkout
bisqwit
They don’t do that kind of stuff at pharmacies/apothecaries around here. Markets, sure.
LN2S
Yeah I meant at markets
Hendlton
I don't think I've ever seen a self-checkout anywhere. Maybe I just haven't looked hard enough.
AgolfHiller
In my country it has only been introduced in supermarkets and a small number of cities at that
Hendlton
Probably the same around here. I live in a city of around 45 000 people and we only have a couple bigger supermarkets.
Biteymcbiteface
Trust me, it's as bad when you are a girl. Mixed with the "buying tampons for someone else"-feeling
[deleted]
[deleted]
Biteymcbiteface
Why?
[deleted]
[deleted]
Biteymcbiteface
I think you need to re-read what I wrote then, because you didn't understand it.
Hendlton
I don't get the "buying tampons for someone else" thing. I mean, I've never had to do it, but I don't get what's wrong with it.
Biteymcbiteface
Like, I won't use the condoms on me, I don't know what a guy would prefer. Bigger? Smaller? Etc
Biteymcbiteface
Nothing wrong with it, however there are many options and brands. Everyone have their favorite, and "the wrong one" will feel bad.
Hendlton
I don't mean that, I'm talking about the fact that it's apparently supposed to be embarrassing.
Biteymcbiteface
I'm sorry. When you said it as a response to my comment I assumed it was relating to it.
Hendlton
Oh, I didn't even notice you were the same person I replied to. I was saying it just as a general thing that was kind of relevant.
BarftheMawg
I've bought my wife and 2 daughters tampons and pads for 27 years! Part of the job! Not embarrassing at all.
Biteymcbiteface
And I'm happy your not embarrassed, alot of guys seem to be though.
MinorityRetort
It's the opposite of embarrassing, you're taking care of the women in your life that matter to you. How I've always viewed it anyway.
BarftheMawg
Yeah. I agree.
BarftheMawg
Have you found your future friend yet?
Biteymcbiteface
Yeah, that wasn't really my point though. My point was that it's a really intimate item, and hard to pick if you don't know exactly what 1/2
Biteymcbiteface
The other person wants 2/2
Biteymcbiteface
It's not embarrassing as much as "do I pick the heavy flow ones? What brand? Super slim? Extra long?" Etc.
donorkort
You ask her what she needs, and she tells you. It's literally that easy.
Itwasmyname
You'd think so. I've started asking for links to the required product on the shop's website.
Biteymcbiteface
I always love getting downvoted for mundane shit i have no clue I could be "wrong" about
drfarren
Nothing makes me feels better than when I come to imgur/reddit with a genuine question and get mocked and downvoted.
Biteymcbiteface
The mocking I can sorta live with, atleast then I know what people misunderstood.
BarftheMawg
I agree. I upvoted you for that reason. I don't understand wings or that stuff. I just ask very specifically before I go.
Biteymcbiteface
I'm a woman, so I understand it, I also understand the need for comfort during your period and panic
amoeba15
Wings are long adhesive flaps that fold under your panties to keep the pad in place and helps to prevent it from bunching.
pentagoninformation
Its even worse as a woman when your buying magnums
e45643
the ice cream or the condom?
0531lars
OuchYoureonmyhair
No its not. I parade those bad boys around for 20 minutes before I check out.
Wormbo2
Rry!? Ok. Buy magnums. Then buy standard condoms. Stretch one of each over your fucking fist. Then realize your bf dick is same as the rest.
Biteymcbiteface
As long as I Know what to buy, I'm OK. But like at 18, when you hadn't had sex yet? "Does he need magnum? Normal? Is ribbed good 1/2
Biteymcbiteface
For guys as well? How do I present the options without comming across as a whore? (And before... Yes, guys have shamed me for having 1,5/2
mihaiborcan
one and a half condoms? fun size, or...
BolenArrow
shamed you for having condoms? sounds like some shitty ass dudes.
Biteymcbiteface
Condoms at home). Do I just put them all in a draw? Have 2 in the side table? How do I fetch more?" Aaaah the angst 2/2
Yrmsteak
52 pack from Costco, leave it on top of the dresser.
KamSolastor
My thoughts are, if you both got to that point, and then he acts like a dick (heh), you dodged a bullet (okay I'm not doing this on purpose)
Cubtastic
See I just got a small little decorative box. Holds like 5-6 and its right there if you need it, but if you dont open it, its just a box.
Fivegoldentoques
It comes around again as a middle aged man buying hemorrhoid cream for the first time
TheBlackWindHowls
"It's, uh... for my... dog?"
VodkaReindeer
How about lube.
Upvoter2000x
THANK GOD FOR U-SCAN
Varimothras
Getting that lube from its aisle to the u-scan is the longest walk ever
Upvoter2000x
Hide it under the bread! Nobody will see your shame
theShitmyassholesays
Just shrug and say" my butthole hurts"
Juleva
Just use amazon
thisiswhyicanthaveanythingnice
Or self checkout at Target.
amyhadalittlepond
Anusol for your anus hole, and vagisil for when your vag is ill.
Streubenhouzen
No need for embarrassment. Hemorrhoids among the most common ailments on earth. High chance everyone here will be afflicted at some point.
insegrevious
You shut your mouth. I will not have whatever that is that you're talking about.
somethingaboutllamas
Essentially? Butthole balloons. The veins around the anus get pushed out and swell and stick out like little bubbles until they heal. Itchy.
PiGiSpi
It was the most painful week of pooping I'd ever had. The itch was a god send compared to their peaks
THEDICKMAKESITCUTER
gavin?
mandadadada
Eat fibers, there are a lot of options nowadays and also don't force the shit out too hard and allow ur butthole to pass it slower
mandadadada
You can buy fiber in pill form if you don't like to eat fiber rich foods and eating more fibers reduces risk of rectal cancer
GeneralBLUE88
Or the first time you had to buy feminine products for your gf / wife? And trying to pick from one of a thousand varieties #youowemeanal
Idonthavealottosay
I would never tell my man to do that. Heck, that's why I stock up
remycrane
I ask my boyfriend to do that often because he goes out more than me. There is absolutely no reason why anyone should be ashamed of it
remycrane
My boyfriend offers because he knows I'm bleeding and in pain and he loves me. #actualgoodman
cpizza12
I'm 20 and I bought hemorrhoid cream two weeks ago
rexthedino662
Looks like you're gonna die at 40 bro I'm so sorry
ActuallyAPirate
Bro... I know your pain
mommas
Same.
Arnlaugur
17 and had too, Not a fun problem
GurdenRabsyKittenKnightbears
I know your pain. Buttpain, mostly.
CheeseEatingMonkey
Oh you poor soul
iexist
Oh good someone else is with me
LindseyLohand
Quit being a pain in the ass
cookiesandmilf
19 hemmroid problems run in my family. Suppositories are the most embarrassing I think.
fathogwrestler
I take all my medication in suppository form. Including cough syrup.
SacreDoom
Too many dicks?
WaterblightGanon
if only
samthing
More likely sitting.
SacreDoom
Ye probs.
iamprobablyhigh
On dicks?
PiGiSpi
I'm 22 and had to do the same. Was sick for two weeks cuz of them
flamingflamingo
I was working in the intimacy aisle, and there was a couple nearby trying to pick out a vibrating cockring made by Trojan (it's there with>
flamingflamingo
> the condoms. And they kept glancing at me like they were embarrassed. Sweetheart, at home I have a dozen lengths of rope, a vibrator with>
flamingflamingo
5 settings, several harnesses, two ballgags, a posture collar, two sets of wrist/ankle cuffs, a straight jacket, a bridle, an O-ring, a >
BC2k2
Wow you have an awesome collection. I have problems getting my wife to do anything BUT straight vanilla... can I send her your way? lol
bestdog
straight vanilla is a common problem- gets boring after awhile don't it!
BC2k2
*nods* Vanilla sex is like boneless skinless chicken. It'll sustain you, but it gets boring quickly if you don't spice it up.
flamingflamingo
Unfortunately, it's not for everyone. My last bf was also super vanilla. Getting him into it was kind of... not an option. For many reasons.
BC2k2
*Nods* Yeah, she'll roleplay or let me break out the restraints on 'special occassions.' I usually have to get some alcohol in her first.
flamingflamingo
paddle, nipple clamps, and leather "opera gloves" with buckles and restraints. I don't care about your little trojan toy.
BobbyBoucher420
Can I come over?
TolstoyTheFox
DiggyDark
GothKirby
Not bad, not bad.
TheDivineUsersub
So... are you single?
flamingflamingo
No, but I am in a relationship with pretty loose rules.
EthosxPathosxLogos
Game night at your house sounds fun
flamingflamingo
We'd be happy to invite more girls in the mix.
philoticparallax
Lacee???? That you girl?
flamingflamingo
Sorry no, unless you mean this kind of lace:
ike9899
Pleasureswell
Totallyscrewedinaustin
efhawthorne
Holy shit the original gif!
flamingflamingo
Add. I actually want to get more stuff but I'm running out of things I don't have.
SealandIsARealCountry
there's a comic called Oh Joy Sex Toy that covers a lot of stuff. It gets a little SJW sometimes but you gotta be looking for it.
chiefvsmario
So like, the basement? Do you have an honest to goodness sex dungeon? I can't imagine where else you would store that much stuff.
waterbucketsandsparetowels
My god. I aspire to be like you when I grow up
LincolnSiixEcho
What....what else?
v
UsernameNotTakenYet
ScorBun
Spreader bar, hog-tie and some hoods come to mind. Damn I wish my kit was that well stocked though. Respect.
OuchYoureonmyhair
Boyfriend maybe. JS
Repetitapup
Whenever I see people buying condoms I think 'good on your for being so responsible...hope you don't ignore them in the heat of the moment.'
Ishalldefenestrateyou
I knew a guy that had them in his nightstand, he forgot them. He said he didn't finish so they were fine.
Ishalldefenestrateyou
It took like 4 of us to convince this 23y/o med student that it is still possible for the girl to get pregnant....
bearhill2
I don't think anything when I see people buying condoms.. none of my business what people buy.
imgurianitarian
I have never actually seen anyone else buying condoms. Either no one does or I clearly don't notice.
myuncutcocksmellsnice
First time I bought condoms was at a 7-11 late at night. Cashier said " well at least one of us will enjoy being fucked over tonight. "
BirbsAreImportant
My ex did her best to make it 'the heat of the moment'. I didn't enjoy it and I didn't know how to reject her. I don't date or have sex now
ToksanAlpha
"What? No, I'm making balloon animals"
LillyVixen
First time I was with a guy he had brought some condoms, we both got drunk, used all of them, and made bad decisions. Scary few months...
Repostingjimmy
My third time buying condoms I was short a dollar and some old lady gave me one and just said I think this is more important for you to have
Repetitapup
That's actually adorable
lordwank
did you bang her
dangershell
Me and girlfriend are each other's first so we're both clean and she can't get pregnant so we just raw god that shit bruh
Repetitapup
You realise you can catch stds from stuff other than vaginal penetration,right? Also, I work with supposedly infertile people who have kids.
srs00
My ex and I raw dogged for 4 years. Two months with her new bf and she was pregnant. I think I'm shooting blanks.
dangershell
High five
srs00
High five, very nice!
siler7
That's about as "so responsible" as wearing a helmet when you ride a bike through traffic at 100 mph.
khalimwu
you must be a really fun person to have sex with....
jhawker27
Jesus what kind of violent sex are you having?
Choreopithecus
More like putting on a seatbelt as you drive to work, or take any precaution while doing any other totally normal human activity.
Arconyte
My first time buying condoms, I had also bought popcorn for myself as I had just run out. The cashier remarked, "The date package, huh?"
Ealadon
① My sister and adopted brother were at a store around 0100, my sister needed to pick up condoms, meanwhile my brother has a sweet tooth ...
Ealadon
② And he wanted whipped cream and strawberries. As they came up to the register the cashier took in their items and gave them the ...
Ealadon
③ "knowing nod". Right as he's ringing them up my brother turns, grabs a bag of little green army men from the "next to cashier stuff" ...
Ealadon
④ and excitedly says, "Oh, and these!". Cashier goes from "knowing nod" to
Good times.
kappuccinoo
Same but got "wild night tonight, huh?"
imdoingthisforattention
I buy condoms with coke and mentos so it seems like I'm doing science when I'm actually doing my girlfriend
thefunbatman
Is your girlfriend's name Science? Cuz that'd be convenient.
danidactyle
As someone who works a register and has to ring up condoms and lube I never make a comment hate feeling weird.
ApolloTheSpaceFox
Well Betty sure had a lot to say when I bought condoms lube and rope
danidactyle
"Have a nice day?"
danidactyle
"Would you like your receipt?"
Arconyte
Bless you.
sgv1
I don't use condoms if I can help it. I'm gay, so no pregnancy to worry about, but I'm always scared of stds. It's just a value proposition.
sgv1
I'm not dating anyone, just casual sex. I get tested and would definitely be honest with a partner about my sexual history and health.
sgv1
It's amazing to see so much hatred. You'd think I was anti-vax. I only bareback with people who also bareback, I don't force anyone
LincolnSiixEcho
Theyre free at the fucking health clinic, you gay dipshit.
Wormbo2
I like that this comment said "gay dipshit". Because if he wasnt gay, but acted same way, he'd still be a dipshit! Poetry.
eggmuffin
Be sure to tell your dates this. Be sure also to explain to them your reasoning. That will keep most of them from being attracted to you.
sgv1
I get tested all the time, but I'm probably going to catch something someday, and personally, I think it was worth it. Even if I die horibly
hungitalianohwaitthisisntgrindr
to all of you, and as a gay myself... some gays honestly get off on the danger and have a fetish for unsafe sex. they don't care about hiv.
hungitalianohwaitthisisntgrindr
it's fucking stupid but it's how people are. there are even some hiv positive clans that see getting infected as a right of passage.
hungitalianohwaitthisisntgrindr
it even extends to people actually wanting to be hiv positive. or people who purposefully infect others. this dude has a similar mindset.
siler7
Because if you get AIDS, it'll only be you who suffers. Right?
Knillis
Congratulations! You are now part of natural selection
hearthstoneaccount3
Natural selection doesn't really work if you're gay though...
lWulfl
Bro. It's a NECESSITY to wear a condom...
sgv1
No, it's not, no matter what you think.
lWulfl
I can't believe you think this bro. No one has taught you sex education
HarborLegend
Of course, don't bother protecting others from your inevitable disease. That would make too much sense you fucking solipstic tramp.
sgv1
Others would have to make a decision to have unprotected sex as well. Or do you think I force them to?
Repetitapup
Maybe a shame for the people who catch something from you before you find out. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hope that never happens to you.
sgv1
It could happen, unfortunately. It's a risk both my and any potential partners take when we engage in risky behavior like this.
criablelurst
Yeah that's just crazy irresponsible. Also the reason HIV is so prevelant in the gay community.
hungitalianohwaitthisisntgrindr
exactly. "can't get pregnant so what's the big deal." but also ass sex has a much higher risk for hiv transmission.
Afirebugg
I would be ashamed if I thought like this.. use a freaken condom bro
sgv1
My body, my choice
Afirebugg
It's not just your body when you decide to share it with someone. You put your self and them at risk.
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
I really want a dildo but as a guy I can't get it in real life and my parents like to openly packages to see what cool gadget I've bought
buddyfriendguy
Just shove any old thing up there haha
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
Yeah but then I mess up and hurt my poor butt
ChumpletonTheThird
Amazon have drop off lockers in a lot of cities, see if there's one close to you and order it to there.
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
pNone :(
ellei
Buy it directly in a sexshop?
asm80dfa8sdfj
But if you bought a dildo, they might stop opening your packages.
TheDashinGamer
just go buy a dildo, you're allowed to go buy a dildo, not like the stores gonna be, Lol that's gay we don't want your money. I Would lol
Pawnderlust
If you aren't weird about it you won't even be the oddest customer that day.
DancingMushroom
See if your local post office will hold the package instead of delivering it.
Idonthavealottosay
Cucumber
ellei
Oh god please no. It can break inside
PaulyParker
Never understood parents who open kids mail. Disrespectful. Amazon drop off boxes are the best for things like that.
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
Well, all I ever buy is tech stuff like computer parts and prephirals and so on, and most of the time I open it right then and there so I
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
can show them my shiny new bit of tech, but uh, I can't do it in that situation.
sarabearr
Of course you can get one irl even though you're a guy.
onetimeisawbobsagetnaked
Guys cant buy dildos? Go buy a fucking dildo.
ohyesman1111111
The people who work in a sex shop has seen a lot weirder shit than a guy buying a dildo, just go for it.
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
I know that, I tell myself that, but the rest of me is like, terrified >_<
UltraBooster
I buy stuff for my gf all the time. Like me holding a egg vibrator what am i gunna do shove it up my ass? I dont even have a clit
ABillionDucks
I mean...prostate is pretty close.
UltraBooster
Yeah but an egg vibrator isnt supposed to go up there. Like thats not even a secondary use
theFartySarlacc
>.> well...
UltraBooster
Dont put anything up there that doesnt have a basr
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
I think I could handle buying something like pads since they're obviously not for me, but I dunno...
UltraBooster
Well you can stress yourself out about it but you wont even be fazing the workers there. Fake worry
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
Online, so I'm fucked xc
amoebab
It's creepy and invasive that your parents open your mail. Mine won't even open obvious junk mail sent to their address by mistake.
buttondick
You wouldn't really be fucked because you have no dildo.
BananaAppleFunTime
Just go into a store and say you're getting one a a gift... Might still be a bit awkward, but generally the staff are super helpful...
UltraBooster
Or go find what you like, pay for it, and walk out. Not their business who its for or why you have it. To hell with anyone whos got a porblm
BabyfacedDucky
Well buying a dildo could possibly be the best way to have them stop doing that.
Wormbo2
MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT!!!
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
Noooooooooooooooooo
Itwasmyname
Make sure it's packed with a 'happy anniversary' card.
MariahEAM
My mom did that. She stopped after I bought 100 condoms, two bottles of lube, four butt plugs, and a vibrator. (They were for a party)
UltraBooster
Once i ordered butt plugs and vibrators. I came home saw the boxes scotch taped shut, and her saying she opened but didnt look. Hah.
MariahEAM
WAIT I forgot the word prizes! They were prizes for a party!! XD
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
what... what kind of party?
MariahEAM
They were prizes for dirty bingo! It was a hit.
CephalopodLodge4
Yo, can i come to your next party?!
MariahEAM
Sure! Whereabouts do you live?