kchristine8824
94676
2504
35
Dec 3, 2019 1:22 AM
kchristine8824
94676
2504
35
Krasnopeev
No need to do these things because jesus died for literally all and any sins committed by humans wver.
WillemHellfire
I ate the rat. I was hungry.
tchrbrian
Heaven help us...
wtfiamfake
Satan is why. Thank you.
10tacles
mysticalflamingo
Well I murdered the other priests 24 hours after confessing to the previous ones murder sorry to stress you but u won't be busy long k bye!
cestmoi8
So much for active listening
calculatedcleric
The whole point of confession is admitting you sinned and asking forgiveness. sin has to be intentional to be sin. No excuses required.
TipOpen
https://imgur.com/WvrRLZI.jpg
JimmyKraktov
Confession. What a bunch of simple sheep. Besides it's none of their fucking business what you did wrong. A head game. Fuck that!
glitterwank
I've never got this. A Catholic want to explain it to me? Are your sins automatically absolved once you do this?
literallymike
And remember, if you're not sinning, Jesus died for nothing...allegedly.
IAmCooCooCaChoo
My secret belief is that these mega-church pastors who fleece their flock confess and forgive each other.
SenorMacaroni
Business is good
kchristine8824
Yup
slabaReactionSmuggler
There are old women who will go to confession twice a week, no matter what
catholiccolor117
Just to be sure.
Slewth87
I guarantee you there was a match on the priest wanted to get to.
obviouscoconut
Heathens
CorkRockingham
Confession w/ explanation seems like “I’m sorry, but....”
jalexj
This is deep!
ahorseelbowdeepinme
My g-ma in law is in her 80s and dating. She came home from church pissed one day. Apparently the priest left the confessional laughing.
ahorseelbowdeepinme
Dunno what mam said to make him laugh but it must've been good.
shortwarrior
"I'm in my 80s and dating." "HHHAAAAAAAA!"
Jusmar
Priest: "Weird flex but okay"
alexiselizabethxo
What a wild thing to take part in.
catholiccolor117
Yes it is
GoldenLarsen
Me: I Killed someone. Priest: Wait what, alright why? Me: I thought the sign said no need to explain why I did it, so you gonna forgive me?
Thelema
A catholic priest would more likely answer: “how many times, my son?”
calculatedcleric
But that’s actually how that works. Part of your penance might be to turn yourself in, but it’s just about forgiveness, not justification
catholiccolor117
Justice is tempered by mercy
yallmfsneedjesus
My husband works at a church and just told me the priest complains about this ALL the time. It's mostly women who do this.
ilovecosmetics
The priest must have a few pints waiting at 6:00.
catholiccolor117
It's possible
MarkPenrice
Or a different church to go give an evening mass at. A lot of smaller ones share priests around the diocese these days.
res20stupid
Yeah. My local diocese lost its resident priest to proven-false allegations and it's been a disaster ever since.
kchristine8824
Probably
Brokecattlefarmer
By pints you mean boys, right?
ilovecosmetics
ImOPsMom
No that would be half pints
PotatoThunder
Priest must be German
degenerator
"The Lord made the universe in six days. You can make your confession in 6 minutes."
TheCoachAdair
German? No. He’s Russian.
asm80dfa8sdfj
Eyyyyyyyyy
TheCoachAdair
DukeDarkwood
At 5:30, he'll be Finnish.
chrisclarins
Brilliant!
DOWNVOTEALLEMOJIS
Ha!
Chaapai
Janitor cleaning confessionals. Confused for priest. Woman confesses to having performed oral sex outside or marriage. Woman rambles on & on
Chaapai
Instead of making her feel bad Janitor listens patiently. Realizing he doesn’t know what to do next he quietly sneaks away.
Chaapai
He finds an alter boy and says: quick, I need your help... what does Father Smith give for a blow job?!
Chaapai
Alter boy replies: usually a coke and a candy bar.
axelfive
Nice.
HeroOfCanton1
It is courtesy to the people in line and if you need spiritual direction you can always talk at a different time
catholiccolor117
They do have offices for that usually (counsel) it helps I've been there.
DrunkBobRoss
"...again, while strange, not really a sin."
AggressiveChickenSandwich1
I poured brown gravy on top of All Dressed Chips.
mikeyMN
DatUncle
ShamelessSeamus
Last night I had sex with two Thai twins, a slip 'n slide, a diving helmet, and a ferret.
o4kill
Okay, I've got two sins, a weird, a please dont explain why, and did you want that additional sin on the side or on top?
ElevenMalevolentElephants
I poked a badger with a spoon
keenidiot
Well I've not heard that one before. Say 3 hail Marie's and four hello dollies.
Shinycapn
I did an original sin!
BarryTheCyborg
The priest
CompressedInfo
+1 for Eddie Izzard
UglyHorribleGrouchyOldMan
ElevenMalevolentElephants
That’ll be 3 Hail Marys and 5 hello dollys
somnif
As an Irish Catholic: There are things that aren't sin?
ekzeko
Leaving a Euro for the upkeep.
ProbablyNotTheDevil
I think that dying isn’t a sin. Maybe.
catholiccolor117
Probably still is.
LucentSable
Depends, did you die selfishly?
iNeverCouldGetTheHangOfThursdays
I'm the Imgur priest. You may confess by answering this comment. The great giraffe will forgive your filthy sins.
snailphotography
I once cut myself into pieces in a time-turner related accident without noticing while Emma Watson looked on in horror.
Alistairetheblu
iNeverCouldGetTheHangOfThursdays
Nelmathel
I've posted stolen memes in the form of a reply in Imgur.
iNeverCouldGetTheHangOfThursdays
I'm shocked but you shall be forgiven too
bufmoo
i once spread a streak of mayo down from my belly button so i could shave the hair strip there
dremth
That is a sin that cannot be forgiven.
Darkspire
This is way worse than that dude who killed his friend.
iNeverCouldGetTheHangOfThursdays
Mayo Forgivess come to you.
bufmoo
thank you father. i also have another confession. i wiped the same mayo off with my hand and then licked it off of my hand.
iNeverCouldGetTheHangOfThursdays
Frenchbreadpizza
I killed a friend when I was 15.
iNeverCouldGetTheHangOfThursdays
No Problemo!
Brokecattlefarmer
Did they deserve it?
Frenchbreadpizza
Tough to say, we were young and being stupid. I am 100% sure though if I hadn't been there hed probably still be alive.
CatEyebrows
What happened?
Frenchbreadpizza
Took a bet to far.