therealhoward
93522
2118
104
Mar 28, 2019 12:55 PM
therealhoward
93522
2118
104
Eiladar
See, this is one of the easiest things in the world to deal with. No.
Willowknowsall
Who's putting cum on the counter again goddamnit!!!
CrizzyX
I think that's a good idea...? go vegans
grundig79
"Reproductive secretions"
ridureyu
Oh good, they practice nonviolence. It’s easier to eat them.
nabacular
Why not an entirely vegan store? The floor has been walked on by someone with leather shoes
maximilianfragglebottom
They exist, because shmucks like this one will pay double for it
Inserthilariousname
Sometimes I dont like the person touching my food, but that's why it comes packaged. Go somewhere with a selfcheckout!
cryptidofthewood
StanleyCameron
https://media.tenor.com/images/7c5bcd4a259c9cca10bcde08df950ab3/tenor.gif
Twisterfist
The snowflake society grows daily.
vorodar
I'm surprised nobody made a joke about the title yet.
YouUselessTwat
slyguysslut
Tom Mix wept!
MrParmesan
This made me laugh thank you
IWasRealEnoughForGeorgy
I lov..LIsten!..I love "tomb stone"!
Mikeythejoker
How they asked it is stupid but I get it. My wife is vegetarian and can’t eat anything that has touched meat. We don’t question every 1/2
Mikeythejoker
Restaurant we go to.Pretty much assume/pretend they cook their vegetarian dishes in separateor thoroughly cleaned spaces each time 2/2
wolf35982
nijlonkai
Go to a vegan grocery store then. Super simple.
WhatTheDormouseSaid
Yes, it's called "make your own Damn food at your own Damn house"
Aimanfire
what happens when you combine Vegans and Extreme Germaphobes
ILikeToFindTheAnswers
adam1mada
Yoink. Thanks for this!
LucidPariah
gatharen
I'm stealing this
sassypantselectra
*Yoink*
ambzbootch127001
Please rearrange your whole store and most of your customers so my minority life style can affect the most amount of haters of me
CongratsYouAreHereNow
this is the problem i have with people today. if you're going to do something you consider to be a noble sacrifice, then sacrifice. don't
CongratsYouAreHereNow
demand that others make sacrifices to make your "noble" sacrifice less of a sacrifice and more of a convenience
peachesforme
a lot of religious need to follow that too
txmount
https://imgur.com/YRe7XLx
txmount
also WHOO the downvote fairies have gotten SALTY up in this comment section.
InvasiveSpecious
"Attention Shoppers: The designated Vegan Checkout Aisle is behind the privacy screens, directly across from the Halo Polishing Station..."
Alkuam2
Be sure that behind the privacy screens is really the butcher's counter.
intothevoid1273
Its in the self righteous section, next to the entitled parent aisle.
Nightcaste
No register, just an employee with a hammer
strongseth
"These lasers are totally harmless. The magnetic field of our anti-theft system you have to walk through to leave though..."
nightrodrider
This one though seems extreme, people in Asian countries who practice vegetarianism prefer servers change flight, utensils knives and yes
nightrodrider
Even cooking surfaces.
peachesforme
similar with orthodox jewish keeping separate cooking spaces and utensils for meat/milk
Mindjolt
I want to believe this was written as a joke
ABoredLinguist
I'd say that most people want to believe that it isn't. We love a good excuse to be resentful.
Kbantar
Or a "lol, vegans are so insane" strawman that's so god damned common on the net and here.
MerToo
by*
NotABadLookingNarcissist
Probably is a joke. Definitely has that unbelievable vibe.
monkeybasketball
As someone who used to live in San Francisco, no it probably is not.
[deleted]
[deleted]
jimmyhowlett
I know a lot of people who laughed when it happened
Mindjolt
found the person who can't think about anything other than bashing Trump. Get off the internet you are done for the day.
Magicflutefreddie
We can only hope.
CherBearStare
Unfortunately, I know vegans who would do this. They crazy.
smorsdoeuvres
But you know that it wasn’t.
Mindjolt
there just doesn't seem to be enough vegan aggression in the hand writing.
smorsdoeuvres
multibeasthillsdale
insertclevernameshere
No way, it made it to the internet so it has to be true.
smorsdoeuvres
You don’t think anyone would really do that- do you? Just go on the internet and lie?
insertclevernameshere
Definitely not.
CumDumster
Honestly, this isn't that different from kosher cooking. Like people have two ovens for non kosher food.
CumDumster
For the record, I'm not vegan or Jewish
TheMarvinator
I'd cook meet, vegi, vegan separately. Different chopping board, pans etc...That's not the same as separate conveyor belt for wrapped items!
CumDumster
No I mean separate ovens. Like if you ever cooked non kosher food on that oven, it "ruins" the kosher food
SoManyWhales2
If by "joke" you mean "way to get fake internet points by exploiting the 'vegans are annoying' trope popular online" then sure
EndOfMeaning
The only thing more annoying than complaining vegans are people complaining about vegans.
Mindjolt
so you were the one who wrote it i take it?
SoManyWhales2
You see me with 492 points?
Mindjolt
lol nope, guess you should try harder. Maybe exploit the vegans more.
SoManyWhales2
Hey, if it works it works!
PUNKem733
Here I am thinking people would get smarter when eating supposedly so healthy.
ProcrastinatingWork
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201005/why-vegetarians-are-more-intelligent-meat-eaters
PUNKem733
https://www.livescience.com/24875-meat-human-brain.html Who knows who's right, but I do see stuff like this post. Vegans with stupid choices
ProcrastinatingWork
Did you read that article? It does still defend the veggie life style significaintly, except in the case of evolution...
PUNKem733
No, because it wouldn't connect, still won't. "Server not found"
PUNKem733
OK, I was able to read it now
Predicto
99 percent chance that this was not written by an actual vegan, but Imgur will absolutely pretend it is real. It's kind of tired.
MadHakon
Come on now. Work awhile in retail and then you can tell me this is implausible. This is absolutely believable.
dnd3edm1
I know vegans who are like this. On one hand, yes, the writer described animal agriculture pretty well. On the other hand a nasty note
dnd3edm1
won't bring about effective change.
Predicto
I know some grumpy vegans too. But when I see an unattributed picture like this it's very likely an internet troll, not an actual vegan.
turbodog
Y'all come down to South Carolina, we'll do a pig pickin, play some corn hole, you'll be aight.
LCDC
turbodog
it is a method of cooking an entire pig over coals (preferably hickory). Takes many hours, lots of friends, lots of beer,and a good Saturday
LCDC
So it’s a South Carolina luau. Got it
turbodog
Minus the Poi, spam, and big tree leaves, yes.
CommentsWithGandalf
And here I just assumed that's where you went out and pick which piggy we're having for breakfast bacon
CommentsWithGandalf
Is cornhole slang for ass fucking? Asking for a friend
Nykidemus
It absolutely is. It's also a word some people use for bag-toss games. Because they enjoy the horrified looks at kids parties I presume
turbodog
No, but we do have a word for that. We call it "ass fucking".
ambzbootch127001
No it is a bean bag toss game, it's ok fun, like horseshoes little brother
smorsdoeuvres
I had a client sell her jewelry who refused to be in the same room as my computer or any other electronic equipment due to EMF sickness
kakivara
Pretty sure that's shown to be bullshit. For some reason those "affected" people just can't determine when something is hidden.
crann
Just tell her you are harnessing the power of crystals. I mean, its is the truth after all.
FallingStar7669
Iron crystals when properly aligned produce an electromagnetic field, so... yeah.
allisonisrad
I just googled EMF sickness and this is fascinating! The article I read basically said it couldn't be replicated under lab conditions.
Threns
There's an account of a town getting all pissed about a cell tower nearby, citing EMF. Company shows records proving the tower wasn't +
Threns
even powered about 2 weeks before the town started whining and getting themselves riled up into a hypochondriac uproar.
Qualtagh
She was just a wizard who didn't want to break your stuff.
FlyYouFLCL
Dresden?
Qualtagh
smorsdoeuvres
Upvote for making me Really laugh.TY. That lady was certifiable & a total pain.. Incredible jewelry though.
DocTanner
It's a fascinating example of the nocebo effect. These people really DO get sick. They have measurable symptoms. But only when aware of EMF.
Threns
I'm betting they'd get similar effects if they were given 'information' that made them anxious about some other arcane effect. Like if a +
DocTanner
Yeah. That just happens to be the thing they think makes them sick. The crazy part is, due to the power of the mind, they really ARE sick.
Threns
Absolutely, when I was having major anxiety problems and was increasingly solitary I started developing symptoms for nothing
Threns
hardcore chemtrail believer was exhibiting symptoms, it wouldn't shock me. Anxiety alone can generate a lot of effects. Those people tend +
Threns
to be more solitary as well, and there's more than enough information describing how big a problem that is.
AdvocateForLucifer32
"Reproductive Secretions" - I'm assuming this is eggs, or milk, right?
CaffeineManic
Wondering the same thing.
clamdriver
Donkey sperm is a popular salad dressing
intothevoid1273
I read that and immediately thought of Kingpin- I woke up early and milked the cow. We don't have a cow, we have a bull.
Alkuam2
Gonna go brush my teeth.
OverMyDadBody
Surely not smegma
[deleted]
[deleted]
OverMyDadBody
Ok, Smegma.
Yupurineutah
kee-wrecked.
MrRobSteel
Bored checkout staff.
NuclearPalsy
What do they think they use to fertilize their vegetables?
breadedfishstrip
Where does dismemberment for milk come from tho
maximilianfragglebottom
I'm not vegan but commercial dairy production is pretty cruel. I'd rather have milk from small farms.
n0o0o0o
Depends on who you talk to, but some practices take the calf away and the males often turned into veal. Idk how common that practice is tho
Rulweylan
The legs make them harder to milk.
dthninja2
She might have been talking about Kroger's Jar-o-Jizz?
SniffsMcgee
jiynxed
in canada you buy it in a bag.
dthninja2
crann
The Kroger brand does has superior spreadability over the name brands.
dthninja2
And that distinctive tangy flavor...
picklesandmayonnaisesandwich
I read a post here about a woman at Whole Foods who asked her foods to be inputted manually because she didn't want "lasers" on her items.
msporkboy
I, too, fear the light.
MyReferencesAreOutOfControl
I work at WF. We have a lady that does this. I told her we scan them when they arrive to us in the truck, her jaw hit the floor. Hehehe.
badgelodger
she bought chicken.
nipplepanties
That is actually very common
eggmuffin
Not at all common. Be reasonable, how often have you seen it? I'm positive I could ask everyone I know, and they'd never have heard of it.
nipplepanties
Addendum: Common depending on area. I see it, you don't.
NoiceSmart
I had no idea this was a real thing. Wow.
Residentsmartass
beat me to it. that was the first thing I thought of
db22
If she's that retarded, just tell her it's an organic vegan laser.
BiologicallyHazardousMaterial
*chrk*manager to register 3 please.
Magicflutefreddie
Jezus
strongseth
"These lasers are totally harmless. The magnetic field of our anti-theft system you have to walk through to leave though..."
ajpimpsalll
also, ya know, THE SUN
DrunkSnowWhite
ajpimpsalll
i CRAVE star damage
GreatPhoenix
Only time you should avoid lasers is with fish, it actually damages live ones. Otherwise, they dumb
Floridamanmakeslightsaber
-Scans Hands- “Yes ma’am!”
Ratman72
PissedMahPants
Worked at Trader Joe’s. There were 2 customers who requested this.
confit732
Yup...gotta a few like that now. And the new trend is surgical masks and latex gloves
PissedMahPants
I like that. Maybe whatever lunacy they have is contagious ?
where2bee2
Unfortunately, I have seen that too.
Eldibs
"All right, but since it'll take so long, I need you to go to the back of the line so you don't inconvenience the other customers."
godfatherdontl
http://imgur.com/050PvGc
serenityfast
"I don't get paid to read" *beep*
Mumalot
but *beep* the *beep* cust- *beep* -omer *beep* is *beep* always *beep* right. --stupidperson (being interupted by THE BEEPS!)
tannenbanannen
oof
MerToo
but they're vegan lasers and they kill carnivorous bacteria!
Fenix12549
Yeah I used to have a woman who said she was allergic to barcodes scanned by lasers
rubyredxx
I fucking hate people who falsely claim to be allergic to things they are just annoyed by.
messiemillie
Had a girl in college tell me she was allergic to sugar. No, you’re not.
MadHakon
I wouldn't be surprised if there was some random medical condition where that could be technically true. I've lost a bet before because 1/2
MadHakon
believe it or not, a condition exists where one is allergic to water. Yes, we are made of water. Get internet to explain. 2/2
messiemillie
Yes, I’ve heard of that condition. There is no condition that I know of where you are allergic to table sugar.
pixeldust
Honest to glob, that sounds like something my mother-in-law would ask for.
neverborne
Don't things get scanned for inventory sometimes anyway?
LurkerOfDarkness
We didn't where I worked, sometimes one would be for other reasons though.
ThomasThundersword
you know 30-40 years ago that would almost be reasonable. new tech is always worth being skeptical of. but nowadays? come on, that shit>
ThomasThundersword
has likely been irradiated at some point. a little red light ain’t gonna hurt:
giantkel
Worked in a store like Whole Foods. This actually happens. A lot.
butdontcallmeshirley
medsal15
bixol
Wow, perfect use of gif is just perfect
BaxterTheMiniatureBuddha
gvair
The sausage king of Chicago!
ilhares
Abe Frohman?!
skidbladnir31
I've been that cashier. Just smile and remember you're paid by the hour
LurkerOfDarkness
And just let her waste everyone else in lines time...
dairios
Nothing else you can do, really. I've been this cashier. Not worth wasting more time trying to argue with them. Path of least resistance.
dairios
I used to have one customer, who refused to let anyone else handle his items. He scanned them himself - or it was war if you tried to do it.
jiynxed
and that your continued employment and potential pay increases are determined by how many customers you get through your lane efficiently.
Cal1te
There is only 2 companies I know of that do performance based pay for cashiers (and they pay really well, relatively).
wo1fie
Potential raises for cashiers? What magical land is this?
TheS4ndm4n
Cashiers are not judged on that. You get in trouble when you make too many mistakes or get customer complaints.
TrishTr4sh
This could vary based on a store/chain's policies.
TheS4ndm4n
Let's agree that anyone who has a policy like that is an incompetent idiot. I worked retail and I know there's plenty of idiot managers.
storytaletime
Yes they are judged on that. I worked at one that would write you up for even having a less then $11 customer ticket average.
LurkerOfDarkness
A what what?