snarkybitch
17750
305
13
Saw this in a dump
I get a billion. I can buy 900m more debt. Still have 100 mil. Which is plenty for my lifetime
Edit. Sorry i cant reply to everyone. Y'all have some good ideas!
sadurdaynight
can finally finish buying all the characters in a gatcha game
MrAcurite
If you started spending $3M/day on AWS out of literally nowhere, they'd probably assume you were a scammer of some kind and kill your account
Rynestrm
You need to use Brewster Million’s rules. These are too open. I hire someone to high five for 100 million. I hired a person so it’s not giving it away, I didn’t gamble because it’s a job, not chance and didn’t throw it away because it was given for a service.
TheCrazyMick
Yeah to anyone who knows that stock exists this is an asinine scenario
TheDefective
I'd host a twisted metal, vehicular combat tournament. Providing all the insurance for the event will suck the money up like a sieve.
TheDefective
siphon I mean
wadatahmydamie
Find out which secret service agent could use a spare $100m
DarkAthena
Science would be funded, baby.
Xenarion
The trick here is that the genie knows you'll get audited by the authorities for that mysterious sudden large income.
BaddeJimme
Can you give the IRS 100 million towards the tax you will have to pay on the 1 billion?
SmoeAhsolse
"Brewster's Millions" (1985), anyone?
"A minor-league baseball player must spend $30 million in 30 days in order to inherit $300 million. However, he's not allowed to own any assets, destroy the money, gift it, give it to charity, or tell anyone about the deal."
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0088850
MyBigMouth
Buy a Senator
NM156
Buy them all and a Supreme Court justice, just not Thomas because he's spoken for!
loedout
This is super easy. You just buy appreciating assets (houses, businesses, gold). You wouldn't even need a month. You could do it in a day. It's exactly what the wealthy already do. Also, buying debt to forgive it would be gifting (rule #1).
MjrStryker
Purchase commercial real estate in a densely populated city or buy a mega yacht.
NostrilSnowboarder
Can I pay a hitman 100M for a job to be completed within 30 days?
DragoWhooves
wouldn't forgiving debt would count as gifting?
RayneOfSalt
you have to buy the debt, so I don't think so.
Jonson71
I've watched Brewster's Millions. All 73 versions of it. One of the rules is there's no giving away your money. Buying debt and forgiving it is just cheating the rule.
dasmetalrat
You could always buy debt "with the intent to collect on it". Then just... never pursue it.
tsiyeria
Pay off my debt. Pay off my family's debts. My in-laws'. Buy a couple new cars, good ones. Open a 529 for our newborn and max that out. Max out my IRA. Buy a house. Buy a couple houses, rent them at mortgage cost. Hire some people to help us get the house we're in Fixed (the foundation is sliding, the roof needs to be replaced, the wiring is going in a couple rooms, etc). Buy a couple senators and reps. Invest the rest in the theatre company I work for.
BohabRex
That's not a riddle, it's just how billionaire's avoid taxes. Convert the 100m to stock, gets loans using stock as collateral to pay for stuff but on paper you have no money and can avoid contributing to society
ViolentlyJaded
I'd fund engineering projects. I could use it all in minutes.
iklu
Like your style, like there is not any project in the world if there's a will.
xantous4201
I'd fund kickstarter things. Like find people who have little to know backing and just blow their fucking minds with a 100m kick
snarkybitch
Any disease research!
InvidiousSquid
snarkybitch
Ah shit
JaceArveduin
I could probably use that much to get the worlds largest museum started, and help fund the others.
wasiteverreal
I buy a plane from Quatar
snarkybitch
Thays a bri....i mean gift
IordNeko
Firstly; AWS is what?
Secondly; Wording is key, "100M in a month" Never said every month, just A month. 1 massive purchase and you win the rest.
Emjayen
Renting computer resources. Its target market is gullible rubes/techbro types who have no idea how anything works, let alone costs, and as such charges several orders of magnitude more in pricing.
Xenarion
lol what?
Unitedite
1/ Amazon Web Services. It's a joke, but the idea is that given Amazon's resources and scalability you could spend a lot of money in a short period of time if you wanted to/weren't careful. 2/ Yes, that's the deal. Just a single month.
IordNeko
Thanks
deidyomega
Someone else explained what aws is, but I've heard many a story where devs have accidently spent 100k+ on the wrong button click.
I could easily spend 100m+ in 3 hours in AWS if I felt so inclined.
Hell, I could do it in 1 hour. Request... 3,203,896 p3dn.24xlarge servers and one hour later, you've spent 100m dollars.
Unfortunate500
It said you can't throw it away. Forgiving a debt is throwing it away. (Physically, not morally here)
DonnyVanDerW
Didn't say anything about burning it.
InfocalypseRising
I mean you did get something in exchange for it. The terms of the deal don’t dictate what you’re allowed to do with your purchase.
snarkybitch
If i wait until the month is over tho..i still have the debt
Deonan
snarkybitch
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1YjlwOHd4NnpvNmdwbTVrYWFoeGF0Ymp2a2xrNml3ZHpwNm54eXJ4OSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/3WCNY2RhcmnwGbKbCi/200w.webp
TimbiquiDarkThirty
Psst . . . Hey General Motors, here's $100,000,000 to get the fusion power program started. You're already 5 years late. After that, I'm going to want a Marauder MAD-2R. More funding will be available after the first month.
Ultrashotpull
MeestowKitty
A Marauder? In this economy?! At this point in the timeline? You'll get a Mackie, and you will fucking like it, freebirth.
TimbiquiDarkThirty
Sebastopol140
This doesn't say that you must have nothing in the end (like in Brewster's millions"). So it's not hard at all to do.
snarkybitch
True. I keep thinking of Brewsters million. Id still buy debt
Delathi
Forgiving debt would likely be considered ‘gifting’ though, wouldn’t it?
snarkybitch
Yeah i said that in a another text. If i held onto it for a month tho?
cdlong
But then at the end of the month you would still have something of value.
snarkybitch
You're thinking of Brewster million movie. That caveat is not in this comic
wadatahmydamie
Only if you forgive the debt during the timeframe
ballsoutflyer
Brewster's millions.
Just rent a bunch of shit for a month.
JohnnyFiveAces
xizar
Also, buy a stamp, run a political campaign, and be prepared to hire a lawyer at the last minute.
ballsoutflyer
Won't work.
Can't own anything past 30 days, can't destroy anything after you bought it
n0n53n53
Those are literally plots from the movie. nothing was destroyed. The stamp is still intact but the value is gone because it has a postmark on it.
ballsoutflyer
Which is destroying the value of the thing that was purchased. Literally against the rules.
Pay the fuck attention, stupid.
n0n53n53
did you not watch the movie?
KR1570F
I'd buy a shit ton of houses and rent them at reasonable rates, below market, and contract with any rentors that want it to rent to own.
n0n53n53
You'd still own the real estate so you didn't "spend it" At least in the original 'Brewster's Millions' film story line
KR1570F
It's not exactly the original when you are talking about Brewster's Millions because the movie is based on a book and was the seventh adaptation
Sageypie
I was thinking just buying houses and giving them away to homeless folk and whatnot. The genie said I couldn't give the money away, but his monkey paw style talking ass never said anything about not giving away the stuff I bought. Oh shit, genie, looks like Kazaam over here should have been a little more specific.
CelestialSea
Yeah, REALLY not difficult to spend 100 million. I think the usual caveat is a Brewster's Millions thing, in which case, buy a 100 million dollar yacht, then sink it.
martineb72
But you would still be worth more than you started with.
stokessd
That’s not even a shit ton of houses. That’s like 100 of them where I live.
KR1570F
it's not a shit ton of houses where you are. It could buy 600 homes in Chester, PA 600 in West Virginia and over 1000 houses in Detroit. Though at any of those numbers it might be hard to buy them within the 30 days
throwaway12345432
Buy a large block of land and contract someone to build a heap of houses on it. Once the contract is made, the money is effectively spent.
Snooj
Transferring ownership of something for far below market value would count as gifting. So sayeth I, lawyer for genies. Just buy a bunch of crypto currency. You can drop 100million in a month. There's nothing in this clause that says you have to end up with nothing to show for it like in Brewster's Millions.
mrsparkle001
Can't have any assets at the end. Or can you?
KR1570F
the post also reminded me of this film but it doesn't say anything about assets in the post nor does it reference the film as way of suggesting those were its intended rules.
snarkybitch
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1ZmljamlzYWowa2NvZnY3ZXh0Zzd3ZTZ1bnUzcHB1b3AyaHM1MnoyciZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/OmGtCYLH9uSd2/200w.webp
ghsdkgb
In San Francisco, that'd get you about 20 houses
alcamar
Buy up property to de-gentrify entire areas sounds like a worthy goal
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Honestly the only reason "gentrification" is seen as bad is because it becomes a takeover - people with money come in and drive up prices so that the people who lived there before can't afford it anymore.
What we need is to bring everything up to the level of being a nice, safe, comfortable neighbourhood for people to live in. With parks and shops and transit and everything. We need to actively gentrify by funding those areas while ensuring the people living in them are still able to do so. /1
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Something like UBI plus extra funding for downtrodden areas would start us toward that goal. When there are no poor and no homeless, we won't have "ghettos". That should be the aim of our society. /2
ArcUlfr
That was certainly my first thought. Also maybe hire some private security, because that's going to make you a few enemies.
Fairemont
Id buy Eurotruck Simulator and all the DLCs.
Sageypie
Would also work with any game by Paradox Interactive and their dlc. You could probably get about half of the dlc for one of their games before the money ran out.
jeejeejerrycotton
Where can that be done in a month?
Selfawerewolf
The Genie said "spend the money" not "complete the project you spend the money on" in a month. Please listen carefully to the Genie.
foreverinchains
Literally everywhere. You're not dealing with a bank and a mortgage, you're paying cash.
Offer the sellers a bonus on their commission to expedite the paperwork, and you can burn through that $100 million in a week.
KR1570F
I closed on my house in under a month. I figure having the cash makes the process easier. What I do with my property after that as long as I don't break the rules shouldn't matter
snarkybitch
Applying for loans is arduous. Cash talks bullshit walks right lol
snarkybitch
If I have 100 million in cash theres not much red tape. Hell theres a wildlife preserve area near me thats for sale for 5 million. They'd take cash happily
ArcUlfr
You would probably want to buy the houses somewhere like San Francisco or New York, where you would only have to be closing on like 1-2 houses per day instead of several times as many. Though it might be more efficient to spend some of it on apartment buildings, so that one transaction will actually use up a more sizeable chunk of the money.
snarkybitch
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1NG5ncmpweWhhdzRveXd6dzZ0MzF1NDR0cXg2eHF2ZzlsNjR6Y3VjOSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/o3XuiZ4h81IPvVfyJZ/200w.webp
RevengeIsIceCream
Just hire a whole company of realtors with giant bonus if all is done in <20 days
TimbiquiDarkThirty
The old "I've been a bit too evil in Fable and now I feel bad" technique.
KR1570F
Can you buy and rent homes in Fable? That's awesome. I wish I could rent my homes in elder scrolls out. Feels weird having them sit there if I get all of them
TimbiquiDarkThirty
You can own the homes and business, and set rent and shop pricing. Set it all the way up and your moral alignment will turn to evil. Let people live in their homes for free and take no profit from the businesses and you turn your morality to very good.
snarkybitch
Idk what Fable is
KR1570F
videogame in the fantasy rpg genre kinda old at this point, no judgement for that mind you
Jonson71
This sounds smart but let's say you buy 100 houses in L.A., in a shitty neighborhood where it's just one million per house, and you rent them for under market value. Market value is $3500/month, so you're gonna rent them for what, $2000/month? $1,000/month?! Sounds great.
One month later when the genie shows up, ignoring how you magically closed on 100 transactions in less than 30 days, how do you explain the $100,000 that you're sitting on in rental income? Not to mention equity.
heyoo42
The question is why are you profiting from the genie, it’s free money, just give the houses away for free to people in need
Jonson71
Because the nature of the word "if." It's disingenuous to pretend he just means "get rid of the money." Anyone can set fire to literally any amount of money in a month. The implication is that you squandered it in traditional ways, not that you donated it or burned it or tossed it off a bridge. Can you BUY something while having NOTHING to show for your purchase. Like, throw a 1 million dollar party every day for 100 days.
KR1570F
it literally says nothing about having assets or value at the end of the month. It says I have to spend 100 million in a month and no using AWS
Jonson71
What do you think "spend" means in this case? Why not buy 100 million dollars worth of stocks or any other thing. There's no challenge in spending money. The challenge here is in spending money without accruing value. You can pretend all you want, if you just wanna have an argument on the internet (but jesus, please don't?) but this is a famous challenge, dating back over a century (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brewster%27s_Millions) and the standard clause is: spend the money. Not trade it.
KR1570F
ok, you win
jeejeejerrycotton
The difficulty comes from the fact that very very few things worth millions and millions are purchaseable in just one month.
Xenarion
Stocks.
cgt9803
I imagine you could buy used jets and boats fairly quickly if you didn't care about inspections
yallmfsneedjesus
Property?
ThingsThatDontJustifyGenocide
Counterpoint: Scammers love to take your money.
[deleted]
[deleted]
snarkybitch
Of course they are.
So i can buy an idea. Intellectual property.
cocainemonster
That’s just called a business my dude. $1 ingredients, $ labor, $2 rent, $1 insurance, $1 utilities, etc
Wolfy4226
Ah, I see you're not a warhammer player.....
ProppaGanda
Well, what if I buy something that isn't that expensive way above the market value? That isn't gifting, right?
But good luck explaining to the tax office where you got the money from.
ChiLLeCheeze
I was gifted it from Nigerian Prince Ali.
darthstormer
*walks into Pawn Shop* I'll give you $100 million for the collection of Nascar commemorative plates.
snarkybitch
No 😅
DrBlackJack
I'm pretty sure offering to pay more than the asking price would qualify as "giving it away." Then again, I'm not genie lawer, so give it a shot!
Solkanarmy
find something on craiglist or similar that's listed for 'offers over'
ProppaGanda
I see I need to first put up an ad that I'm searching for this one particular beanie baby from 1997...
snarkybitch
One stupid yacht can eat up millions. Ill feed them to the orcas
jeejeejerrycotton
Well granted I've never bought a yach. But I have witnessed the purchase of a new boat, and it took over a month. Anyway you need to spend 3 333 334 million per day.
Alurkerforcedtologin
Have you heard of Warhammer 40k miniatures? I could definitely clear 100M in a month with that hobby alone.
johnxbear
I think your numbers might be slightly skewed.
snarkybitch
I gave away a boat in 1 day. Have bought a car in less than a day
Idk why it would take over a month?
jeejeejerrycotton
Was it new? I put that word in there for a reason. One reason is that big REALLY expensive things like that aren't usually in stock. I actually don't know if there's a bunch of super luxury yacths on the second-hand market. As for real estate and such it's just all the bureaucracy. I guess if you count signing the deed as enough, you could do it pretty easily.
foreverinchains
It seems that you're treating delivery time as part of the purchase, and I don't think that's a reasonable position.
CrisprCAS
I can sign a contract and submit payment in a day for something that will take 3 years to deliver. Money is still gone.
foreverinchains
The delivery of the yacht can take months or even years.
The purchase of the yacht takes minutes.
snarkybitch
I can commission the tallest building in existence and never build it. Just the hours of all the people figuring it out for a month
foreverinchains
Sure, and all those hours cost money. You could burn through the entire $100 million before a shovel touches the ground by setting up a few of these projects concurrently.