certainlynotaserialkiller
58156
2096
33
only difference i see is that stalin is a lot shorter and hitler is using a tub of fake bronzer every morning.
Mar 7, 2025 5:23 PM
certainlynotaserialkiller
58156
2096
33
only difference i see is that stalin is a lot shorter and hitler is using a tub of fake bronzer every morning.
PolitiCat
Germany already is permanently installing a whole tank brigade in Latvia in the corridor between Kaliningrad and Russia, of course under NATO command. Because what Russians really fear are German tanks.
cgt9803
1942 - German tanks to Ukraine: bad
2025 - German tanks to Ukraine: good
Feonir44
So long as you don't stay in Poland this time, yeah, send it.
ObviousPidgeon
Eddie Izzard had a good bit about this: “Hitler said ‘I’ve got a better idea….. Oh no! It’s the same idea! Run away!!’”
aPokal
MithridateEupator
Fighting the Russians was the part we hated the least about the last guy.
VibratingNipples
Poland will be the invading this time
isthisusernametakenquestionmark
It's just a matter of time until Putin will poke and test the article 5. Most likely in Poland. The thing with war is, things spiral quick. All good Tuesday eve and by Thursday you need to find shelter in a near basement.
Interesting times ahead
Mugendramon
Into the motherland the German army march
busterfixxitt
Not quite; the United States doesn't want you to fight Russia.
taez555
Russians AND Americans.
WolvesAreTheBestPeople
1stDrunkJoe
Waiting for the invitation is key.
UsernameMayBeSubjectToChange
Pretty sure striking first is not in the plans this time
PhailRaptor
Hot take -- Russia already did. In Ukraine. Retaliation is justified.
Spidey209
Yeah. I can understand the need to be crystal on this one.
SithElephant
Also embrace nuclear power.
WolvesAreTheBestPeople
What does that mean?
SithElephant
The rest of the world in WWII was strongly opposed to Germany having nuclear reactors, as they did not want them to have the bomb. Currently Germany has/is shutting down their nuclear civil power program, and at least many people wish they weren't as it helps a _lot_ with reducing greenhouse gas emissions.
SithElephant
I mean, the non axis powers were.
GrenithTheSkald
Just send in Liechtenstein. They'll win the war and return with more men than they left with.
Unfortunate500
Send in the Emus.
JustAPileOfCats
Just remember the cold winters and don't over-extend your lines this time.
onemorethanme
No.. we are asking you to stop supporting genocidal states.
LincLoud
The Polish can join too. Heck, every European who wants Russia to fuck off can.
BythepowerofPlank
i mean, they are good at it
CardeasIV
At least they know their way around
bearatrooper
They know a thing or two, because they've seen a thing or two.
Flareside
I still think comparing him to Hitler is inaccurate, he seems more of a Mussolini
Gruesslibaer
Yes. Hitler- misguided, hateful bigot that he was- at least was eloquent, considered kind of charming in person, served in the military, and tried to implement policies that benefitted Germany. Mussolini was a rambling blowhard who put his unqualified friends and family in positions of power so they could get rich, dodged the draft, and obsessively read the news and threw tantrums if the articles weren't flattering enough.
Flareside
Hey now, we are talking about Mussolini not trump
MissSiesta
For fuck sake, kill off Trump!!!
nemocares
Yes. Though that is assuming AfD aren’t in power, in that case we'd prefer absolute pacifism. For very obvious reasons.
Ermahgad
Putin is actually about an inch taller than Stalin was. Still an utter cunt though.
RibbleTPibits
No, not the whole world… the US admin. Probably just wants you to surrender.
juniavje
I, as a German, absolutely do not want this! AND I will not do it!
PutThePRNDLinD
As long as, this time, you watch the weather in Russia. You really don't want to get bogged down in a ground war there in the winter.
NOINITIATIVE
focus on real objectives like vodka factories, spike the supply and it'll work itself out.
Salpinus
The Germans weren't exactly prepared for scorched earth either. Anthony Beevor have some great books on ww2. If the Soviets hadn't burnt everything as they retreated I think the world would look a lot different today
DJOldguy
Nah, last time it was the Ukraine divisions that stopped the Nazis, I doubt they would even try this time..:)
yqpqfrdp625772
Not just that, but don’t act like your soldiers don’t need cold weather gear bc you were a runner and you wore shorts in the winter sometimes in the comparatively warm non-Russian winters where you were stationed.
bitemark
Or spring. A good early summer invasion is best.
MagicAndDuctTape
As a secondary thought, also make sure to never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line
cowgoesmoo1
...never try to fill an inside straight, never play pool against a man named Doc, and never eat at a restaurant named Moms, and never sleep with a woman who has troubles that are worse than yours.
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
Just send us and the Finns in when that time comes. 👌
dogfavoriter
The weather was a factor, but it is overrepresented as a cause of the German defeat at Stalingrad. Largely because the lack of information from the USSR allowed Germany to tell the story. But Soviet Lt. Gen Chuikov assembled a force of about one million and came upon the German flanks in the rear (which were mostly the less-well-equipped Romanian army) from both north and south, allowing the German 6th army to be encircled.
Lovethesmelloftoastedsourdoughbread
Especially a winter of Napoleonic proportions.
yourbassist
Lucky for us it's March
TalkingSnake
If there is anything they know, it's how to engineer past a known issue.
MarcoPoloOnPollo
The Germans engineered the best tanks on the market in WWII, outclassing Allied tanks in almost every way. They were too expensive and complex to produce as quickly, required more manpower to support and created their own challenges as a result. My point is, some things aren't solved by just throwing better tech at it. Just better to stomp them outside of their brutal winter months.
Kennleth
I mean there are other factors at play here; Germans needed to maintain their manpower whereas the Russians couldn't be bothered and the Americans didn't have to. Also the Americans were bringing in their tanks by boat and while a quick search doesn't support or move against my theory that they opted for a lighter tank to move them in greater numbers.
punnorific
You’re spot on - for some research support read into what James Holland says about the Sherman. A pithy summary is that the Germans built a few tanks to win duels, and the allies built a lot to win wars
IHaveGreatKittenRecipes
BF was a gunner for the Leopard 2 and he confirms, if a Panzer shows up, you're fucked. But the bloody thing has to *actually show up*, which was part of why it quit doing that after WW2. They were impossible to maintain without a huge crew and were beaten on every speed and agility metric before the suspension fell apart, but damn they could take a hit.
BluePaladin42
So superior they lost more tanks to getting stuck in the mud than enemy action. So superior they didn't bother to improve the drivetrain on heavier tanks, they just tossed in a second one. Protip: if your tanks are so prone to maintenance failure that you lose more to that than getting shot at, you're tanks aren't actually better. The Panzer IV was a good tank, but it's design was dated. The Panther was a good design that suffered engineering problems. The Tiger genuinely sucked.
MyRespectableAlterEgo
The obsession with overengineering their Wunderwaffen was what made the tanks so prone: instead of building reliable tanks at massive scale, they kept pushing out new "War Winners" with impressive stats but which required new training for new crews and new spare parts and new doctrine - they'd parade a Tiger, then 3 months later it'd be abandoned in Belgium because they blew a spark plug and couldn't wait 4 days for a new one. Ridiculous Nazi bullshit.
SonnyVabitch
Hitler never played Risk when he was a kid.
Lovethesmelloftoastedsourdoughbread
/gallery/yo79u
sadurdaynight
Putin's army is tapped out and using outdated equipment. He desperately wants a time out to rebuild both his army and economy. Basically, Europe and China could attack from different sides and divide Russia down the middle if they wanted to. Putin knows this, which is why he worked so hard to get the US under his control. Thing is, everything is mich better on the world stage with business alliances. Putin is still old school land grab politician. He's a relic from the past preventing progress.
shameofslate
Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
Lovethesmelloftoastedsourdoughbread
There is too much Risk.
DodgyMerchant
Out to the Urals it's Europe
TooCoolForZuul
But only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
amglasgow
A mistake both Russia and the US have made repeatedly in the last several decades.
Owl2017
Germany was buying 1/3 of its oil from Russia in like 2021, they paid for a lot of their weapons
gattharat
FkPtn. Waiting for all westerners to stand up to ruzzia. They don’t stand in most of Europe either sadly:/ but not dumb like Americans which makes it worse?
Futchm
Just for clarification
March through Poland without stopping
certainlynotaserialkiller
I would recommend stopping for some bigos. Its pretty good as long as it is made by some 300 year old grandma.
kathaSleepCat
“Poland: doormat of Europe. If it’s not the Russians, it’s the Germans” Mel Brooks in To Be or Not To Be
JulioSteinlager
more like marching from Poland
Legrooveth
Don't stop until you get to Kursk, completely different to last time.
Zixtank
Into the motherland the German army march!
Side by side with Ukraine's troops to stop lil Putin's charge!
tautaula
Hey, if they get people glad to see them, I hope at least one of them gets to stop and say "Thank you for letting us through."
TheLordFoxington
Also, with Polands support and approval
DubhIainn
Don't think they so much as stopped to have breakfast last time
hsalonen3000
..and you are not getting Danzig.
JohnTheBird
Like this you mean
/a/DpAYy5Q
FloodingWaters
That's pretty much what happened in 39, though, isn't it?
DerpMeister
The Nazis and the Soviet Union made a secret pact in 1939 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Molotov%E2%80%93Ribbentrop_Pact) and subsequently invaded Poland to carve it up between them. Soviets caused caused tens of thousands Polish casualties and hundreds of thousands POW. In 1940, one year before the Nazis invaded the Soviet Union, the Soviets murdered nearly 22,000 Polish army, police and border guard officers, along with a large portion of the intellectuals in the conquered parts of Poland, an
FloodingWaters
Yes and?
DerpMeister
operation that is known as the "Katyn Massacre", which the Soviets denied and tried to blame on the Nazis until in 1990, in the wake of the collapse of the Soviet Union, Boris Yeltsin handed over top secret documents to the Polish government that provided proof that the massacre was ordered by Stalin and executed by the Soviet secret police (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katyn_massacre).
Boatsntoes
lol
Badprenup
Yeah, specifically with their permission this time lol.
At least until they can fly directly over Poland to land in a piece of Russia that has been captured by the EU.
patta8388
We didn't last time
MaddMatter
That's a burn that'll last one thousand years.
RoutemasterFlash
Until you met up with your Soviet buddies at the agreed halfway line and shook hands.
FistfulOfAssholes
*squints at username*
certainlynotaserialkiller
I would not put much faith in usernames around here
FistfulOfAssholes
*squinting intensifies*
certainlynotaserialkiller
81licks
This is a very important point
lbargomancer
Maybe not "march" through Poland, but some materials and personnel will need to be transported through Poland for deployment in Ukraine
Firestart3r
Can we make a small detour while transporting through Poland?
Make Kaliningrad Königsberg again...
cookies87
And maybe ask them if they'd like to come along for the journey
SkinWalkermc
No no no they did that last time.
Kaleopolitus
ASK. EMPHASISE THE ASKING PART. IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT, HISTORICALLY SPEAKING!
corylusavellana
Poland is actually not keen for that at this point, despite being helpful in every other way.
Bloodwine
There won't be anyone to ask, Poland would already be in Moscow.
FluxSagrie
Maybe get lunch and some such.
iamdeathandthisismyvalley
Poland (or at least their government) hates us even more than directly after the war for some reason.
xxMiTuxx
I know for a fact it's not true, but I just wonder: what's your source of news? It's surely an opinion you repeat after someone, I just wonder if it's a mainstream approach in Germany?
filurilurl
Are you thinking of the previous PiS government that kept making insane demands of Germany just to fire up their conservative voter base? They lost power in late 2023.
iamdeathandthisismyvalley
Okay, I stand corrected, but I haven't been following the news for a while but since Poland is a pretty conservative nation, there was reason enough to believe that tuey still hate us... i'm pretty convinced that they still don't like us.
filurilurl
Conservative nation on certain social issues (in part due to historical dominance of the Catholic Church), but remember that Poland was also on the forefront of the democracy movement within the East Bloc (mainly in form of the Solidarity union), that contributed to the dissolution of the Soviet Republic.
They still have an appreciation for the fact that individual freedoms aren't pick and choose. Their current PM (Tusk) is a EU veteran -- he knows they need Germany to make it work.
Macadaynu
“Hey Poland we’re gonna go stomp some orcs, wanna come?”
BluePaladin42
"AND THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED."
GCRust
COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAINSIDE
beachbum273
*Happy Little Angry European Texas Noises*
Carl99
Sadly i'm pretty sure the UK counts as Europe's Texas.
justfiguredoutimc4azyanddumbb
I thought it was Russia
Penguinsandbroadswords
Is Poland the Texas of Europe? Can you explain?
beachbum273
It's a gag from Habitual Linecrosser