Every morning and night I send my adult kids a handful of funny & uplifting memes, dad jokes, warnings about cats, advice, words of encouragement, a theme song of the day, and weird shit. Here’s 50 of the top of the sent pile. Enjoy.

Good morning, cherubs. Brace ourselves. It’s time for dad jokes.

#DadAdvice

I think this is why my wife left me, but that’s not what I told my kids when I sent them this meme.

#DadAdvice

Heeeyyyy!!! ?????

Dats a good boi.

I used my dog’s shampoo after she passed way. It smelled really good. Oatmeal and vanilla.

#Dad_Advice

#Dad_Advice

#Dad_Advice

Each night I end my texts with: I love you. I’m proud of you. I’m grateful you’re in my life. {some random advice; tonight’s was “learn to proceed without uncertainty.”}

Good morning, cherubs. I’m pretty sure this isn’t how any of you came into being.

#Dad_Advice

No, seriously. This works.

I love you. I’m proud of you. I’m grateful you’re in my life. Don’t forget to say thank you for Mothman. He’s watching you from the front porch right now. He’s the shadow standing near the light.

#gnomes

If it could, it would see the ravenous gnomes.

The gnomes wouldn’t be ravenous if you would have shared your Valentino’s pizza. Gnomes love Valentinos pizza.

In fact, everybody loves Valentino’s pizza.

I bet even Jon Stewart would love Valentinos pizza.

I had Valentino’s pizza today. I’m visiting my parents. Been a few years since I had Valentino’s pizza.

I love you. I’m proud of you. I’m grateful you’re in my life. Son #1 is a Virgo. Son #2 is an Aries. Now you’re thinking about your brother’s dick. Stop thinking about your brother’s dick. Weirdos.

Good morning, goofballs. Time to get up. Your pillow looks like this. No, you’re right. It doesn’t. But I made you look. And now that you have, you’re awake.

I always giggle at these jokes. Even in my 50’s.

Beware the cats.

Beware the cats