theoxfordcomma
36912
1093
61
Apr 9, 2026 8:10 PM
theoxfordcomma
36912
1093
61
Elonth
Honestly #5 while coming off as a joke is actually a real sweet way to say "your work and contributions here were greatly appreciated. We will miss you when you are gone. And when the wheels fall off this cart and it bursts into flames as we go off the cliff we'll be thinking about how this wouldn't have happened if you were around."
Vercury
#5 this is actually a very kind gesture for a coworker whom you know is off to bigger and better things but without whom you also know your team is suffering an enormous loss
TempPlayer
#49 Stop lying. You're not sorry at all. And we are happy for it.
Toqom
#12 I can't stand numbers where the decimal and commande reversed, makes no sense since a period is the end of full numbers. Like $1.000,00 is a dollar, $1,000.00 if a thousand dollars
hendawg2020
#38 https://youtu.be/9JOyTf1q6gE
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
#37 hey serious question but why do people like these things? They are super creepy and don't do anything
theoxfordcomma
Blind box mentality and some celebrities liked them and would have them hanging off their purses or whatever in public
TinyOctopus
#27 1¢ per second is about $315k power year. Tiny octopus would take that.
theoxfordcomma
Yayyy!!! Tiny octopus was heeeere 😄
BlueDsc
#2 Dunno how Doordash would handle this, but for the place I deliver for, any time a customer comes up to me for a delivery but I did not see them actually exit the address I'm delivering to, I have to see the card that was used to pay for the order in order to verify.
rampartfranklin
theoxfordcomma
🤘
ZanaTheOldMan
#12 Portugal used to do it too in the past. 10$00 Pt. Esc
theoxfordcomma
Abhorrent!
Astral134
#28
dirque
"Point the flashlight where I am working." "Don't play with that." "Quit dancing around."
0xDEC0DE
#39 Ironically enough, the basil, cheese, and tomato sauce on a Pizza Margherita do represent the colours of the Italian flag
ahorseelbowdeepinme
#25 onetime my kid just sorta appeared in the darkness of the hallway outside my door and i screemed "who goes there?!"
Semphir
Why did i read the last part as laszlo cravensworth?
meganical
Three times I have thought my life might be in danger by a stranger trying to get in my house and each freaking time I have responded with, “Hey,” and that’s it. Likely, my last words before death
ahorseelbowdeepinme
Hey like a short bark like a drill sergeant would yell it or was it a "the cats gonna knock that cup down" hey
boobsalot
#1 Can confirm. I married one .
Mountaineer30680
Very funny dump!
theoxfordcomma
Thank you!!
jlist
Made me laugh, @op!
theoxfordcomma
Yay! 😄
tavinjer
#15 the game Maneater, in which you’re a great white shark that eats mans, is also this vibe, with accompanying shark facts narrated by Chris Parnell
tmphillips11
Great dump.
meme2zombie
eh #1 soured it for me
theoxfordcomma
Thank you!
gallumpinggaloof
It sends me that they remove the names and leave the @
pipatron
#12 An apology from electrical engineers but we do this sometimes too, for example you might see 3V3 which means 3.3 volts
Sfingks
First thing I thought of too
ShadyEsperanto
just looking at 20$00 gives me anxiety but it also kind of makes sense to me because it puts everything in the same order you say it (20 dollars and 15 cents becomes 20$15). it's kind of like US dates, to bring up another controversial topic around here (april 9, 2026 = 4/9/26, which makes sense to me)
RecurringNightmare
or 2k7Ω...
ardinmcallister
I imagine theres a reason for that. One that comes to mind is that decimals might (at one point in history, i dunno) might get warn away, so if its written 3.3v it would read as 33 v? Or they dont always show up in injection molding? I dunno, I'm just guessing.
Do they do that with odd voltages too like if something needs 12.5v, do they write 12V5?
MusterTheRohirrim
I was always taught it was because early printed schematics couldn't render the decimal point cleanly, and it was easy to miss or would get skipped entirely by the printer.
pipatron
It's also for brevity, 3V3 is shorter than 3.3V when old-style monospace vector fonts are used. I wouldn't be surprised to see 12V5 though 2V5 and 1V8 are more common voltages. It's also commonly used for resistors, such as 4K7 for 4.7 kOhm, and for example 1R5 for 1.5 ohm or 0R33 for 0.33 ohm. Some people don't like it, but it's pretty common and I like it.
FaeVikingPrincess
#27
MayMayz4DayzYo
#17
Jonson71
#1 some creepily sexist bullshit to start us off
hwatL4bloopy
I mean the same thing to be said about guys.
kaoticgirl
I kind of actually do feel this way about my boyfriend. I love him in his BC glasses but every time I see him without them, it's like seeing his face for the first time & I'm like oh! Cute! Neither of us wear makeup or take meds though, so it's just the 2 faces, not 10
hwatL4bloopy
Lol I'm thinking of drag make up though and different personas
highstream
#39 Other way around, actually. The pizza was supposedly designed after the colors of the Italian flag.
JackDawesLovesmybigwhat
Pretty sure that's the joke
pinkmilkyway
#4 Ok but what about you? Did you grow up — I mean score, in college?
theoxfordcomma
Uhh yeah... I did so many scores in college
copperdomebodhi
#39 Want to be a seriously pedantic pain in the ass? Tell people pizza isn't Italian.
It's from Naples. Neapolitan immigrants took it around the world, but it took a long time to spread in Italy. In the late 1800s, it was easier to get pizza in Buenos Aires than in Rome.
3Davideo
What country is Naples in again?
Tenugui
Depends on the year.
3Davideo
Good one! Let's say ever since 1880.
Tenugui
1880 is a problematic year. While the Kingdom of Italy was established and just under 20 years old, Naples was a few thousand years old, and the word Pizza almost 1000 years old. 1880 was around the onset of the great Italian migration period, mostly from now southern Italy (former Kingdom of Naples then Kingdom of Two Sicilies). However, given the cost of buying a transatlantic ticket, it's probably fair to say most of the immigrants weren't even born in "Italy" and identified more as Sicilian.
IceWeaselX
Another layer of fun to this is how confused some people will get when you tell them that things from Naples aren't Italian.
RufusPimperton
Also flat bread with an meat and cheese is not complicated and people have been doing some variation of it since time apes started baking bread. Giving Italian people credit for pizza is like giving Japanese people credit for eating cold salmon.
copperdomebodhi
If you're up for a read, this guy argues the pizza we know today isn't even Neapolitan - it's become American. https://eccentricculinary.substack.com/p/pizza-isnt-italian
RufusPimperton
Thanks for the fun read
TheSlouchOfBethlehem
#18 my grim thinking-meat goes directly to his final call where he finds out the cat died a couple years ago
OtherPlayers
Just an opportunity to meet more new cats along the way!
BeingABotIsRad
Ideally she'd tell him before that moment. If not... She might have a few cat pics saved up. I imagine the worst case scenario is that the cat's owner passes away, and thus cannot tell the guy what's going on.
henrypmahone
I mean, you *could* imagine that is the worst-case scenario.
ConsumerOfStories
#27 It's $864/day and would match $2.5M in ~7.9 yrs in case anyone was wondering
Meatpopsical
I like how the crossed out the names but then didn't cross it out when responding to each other.
emu314159127001
That would be better, unless you can get better returns from some investment that was still liquid or paid it as dividend etc.
SavageDrums
You had me at $864/day.
johnxbear
Well shit. I need to go to comments first. I already did the math but then came here to find this.
AgamemnonsMemes
315,400.00 a year
FaeVikingPrincess
2.5 million one lunp sum would end up being only $1.62 million unless you're claiming you're not paying taxes on this. and it may be even less depending on where you live.
CheesecakePi
Realistically a bit longer, assuming you invest it, because the $2.5 million has a higher starting principal balance to begin compounding. Personally, I'd probably take the $2.5 million, because even though it's less money over the long term, the practical logistics of converting hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of pennies into more usable currency each and every year would be a NIGHTMARE.
petpet3d
Yeah and you don't know if that source of pennies is going to dry up one day
ReverseSyzygy
I want the one-cent in physical metal.
MageEpic
Yeah, but imagine if you actually physically got 1 penny a second. You'd go to sleep and possibly get suffocated in a sea of pennies, or consider the time it would take to wrap them all and take them to the bank to be deposited. Gaining a penny a second is a curse!
AntaNce
I would build a house, or maybe a ship with them
SoGrosslyIncandescent
I had not even once considered that you would be receiving an actual physical penny once per second, but you are right that would be an absolutely nightmare curse. That is something that would be inflicted upon you by a witch or some kind of genie.
mbrauen
86,400 per day??
JahSureYouBetcha
86,400 pennies is $864 a day.
mbrauen
Ah yes, you are right.
GenXHippie
I opted for the full year. $315,360.00 per year. Pretty good deal.
CommunCreator
* $315,569.26. Can’t forget leap years
GenXHippie
WoodORama
Do I have to take it in pennies?
Astral134
Every second a penny appears in one of your pockets. Even while sleeping. Every morning you wake up with ~$5 in pennies in your pockets. When you shower you have to to be wearing something with pockets. Or else. 😳
DarthWaiterSE
Yeah, just have it in a bank account that ticks over like a clock. I ain't wrappin' shit except except my penis and Christmas presents.
If you're lucky, they won't be the same thing.
SidonisAntares
Either way there’s a stocking that needs hung with care
TheYoungerLance
Sounds like a merry Christmas to me!
Jackpot7777777
With the “Rule Of 72” and an average return of 7% a year on the S&P500, it would take around a decade of investing your $2.5 million to double it. So you would eventually make more with 1¢/sec than with compound investing. But it would take quite a while to beat receiving $2.5million because by the time you have $3,155,695.20 after a decade of pennies your $2.5 million (if payouts are quarterly as is the way usually with dividends) will already be $5,003,993.36.
Don’t make me do more math.
FaeVikingPrincess
you won't even have 2.5m to invest. You would have $1.62 million. and then you would either invest all of that or you would invest only some of it so you can live off the remainder. the 1c/second is always a better deal.
noWhiteHorseHereJustBatturuPrinsu
I mean... it really depends where you live. If you get 2.5 million all at once, that could be quite the tax bill in some places.
FaeVikingPrincess
Getting a cent every second would mean making over 300k a year. and doesn't stop and doesn't require risk. And what's to say you're not investing money you get from the pennies? It's just ridiculous to go "oh you can invest this" and ignore that you can invest the other one too. You can take Loans out too because you can show you have an income.
bobthefunny
Yes, but you forgot one thing - pennies are no longer being minted, so they'll soon be a collectable item and worth more than their base currency!
ChippinStrata
They might be worth more melting them down as copper. If these are pre-1982 US pennies, they are worth about 3.7 cents each
monkeyontherun4
Not if you keep flooding the market with pennies!!
Malak224
michiyl
Once I have the money - sure! /s
BARose
As a sapiosexual with dyscalculia, this was extremely sexy and frustrating at the same time. Ty for this odd experience lol
Mustahalla
Never met a "sapiosexual with dyscalculia". Does it mean that for you "Penny per hour for your deepest philosophical rant" is a titillating version of "Penny for your thoughts" and thus counts as flirting?
Willowofwisp
If you wish for a cent a second the genie is just going to bury you in pennies until you die.
pooFIinger
Did the same math with a more conservative 5% and yeah, after 10 years the pennies become more valuable.
Jackpot7777777
But did you keep compounding the $2.5 million into quarterly increases too?
pooFIinger
Of course
hwatL4bloopy
This is all assuming that the money being earned at one cent per minute is not also immediately being invested
FaeVikingPrincess
one sent PER SECOND not minute.