BOBNOBODY - rimgo

BOBNOBODY

442587 pts · March 17, 2015

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for your entertainment, Monty Python's the French taunter scene from the Holy Grail [clop clop] ARTHUR: Halt! Hallo! Hallo! GUARD: 'Allo! Who is zis? ARTHUR: It is King Arthur, and these are the Knights of the Round Table. Who's castle is this? GUARD: This is the castle of Our Master Ruiz' de lu la Ramper (sp?) ARTHUR: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. GUARD: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen... Uh, he's already got one, you see? ARTHUR: What? GALAHAD: He says they've already got one! ARTHUR: Are you sure he's got one? GUARD: Oh, yes, it's very nice-a [To Other Guards] I told him we already got one. OTHER GUARDS: [Laughing] ARTHUR: Well, um, can we come up and have a look? GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a! ARTHUR: Well, what are you then? GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king! GALAHAD: What are you doing in England? GUARD: Mind your own business! ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force! GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur-king, you and all your silly English kaniggets. Thppppt! GALAHAD: What a strange person. ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man! GUARD: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough whopper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of eldeberries. GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to? GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a! ARTHUR: Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable. GUARD: (Fetchez la vache.) wha? GUARD: (Fetchez la vache!) [moo] ARTHUR: If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall-- [twong] [mooooooo] Jesus Christ! Right! Charge! ALL: Charge! [mayhem] GUARD: Ah, this one is for your mother! [twong] ALL: Run away! GUARD: Thpppt! LAUNCELOT: Fiends! I'll tear them apart! ARTHUR: No no, no. BEDEMIR: Sir! I have a plan, sir. [later] [chop] [mrrrrrreeeeeeaaaaaaauuuuww] [rumble rumble squeak] MUTTERING GUARDS: ce labon a bunny do wha? un cadeau? a present! oh, un cadeau. oui oui hurry! wha-? let's go! [rumble rumble squeak] ARTHUR: What happens now? BEDEMIR: Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise -- not only by surprise, but totally unarmed! ARTHUR: Who leaps out? BEDEMIR: Uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I. Uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh and uh.... ARTHUR: Oh.... BEDEMIR: Oh.... Um, l-look, if we built this large wooden badger-- [twong] ALL: Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! [splat] GUARDS: Oh, haw haw haw.

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