Howlingowl

39233 pts · July 28, 2017


Don’t show me their abs. Show me they can do an unassisted fireman’s lift

1 day ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#16 I love hole in the wall Thai places. They will literally set my ass on fire with spice if I tell them to and are open every major holiday no exceptions.

1 day ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Art reveal selfie -1

1 day ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There was a mistake during Frank’s adoption. Please return your chimney brush and we will get you your cat straight away. Sorry for the inconvenience.

1 day ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lego is always a green flag. It’s super expensive so Lego shows a woman you are financially stable. Plus it takes up a lot of shelf space which means you probably have a second bedroom with a bookcase display.

1 day ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

This is a huge red flag. He should dump her immediately.

1 day ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

#2 the Schrödinger thought experiment is not if the box contains a cat that is alive or dead. It’s if the box contains a big strong man or tiny potato boy.

1 day ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Damn, Dean Winchester. The ghost will still be there tomorrow…

1 day ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The book also says not to sodomize anyone. The book says a lot of contradictory things because it’s a collection of stories written over hundreds of years cobbled together, poorly translated to different languages, revised, then read from to idiots in order to swindle money and control how they vote.

1 day ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you can’t afford to live - 3 hots and a cot starts to sound like a good idea.

1 day ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It also taught the customer that they can live without corn chips. Even after the price is dropped some will never go back. This happened with me an eggs. The price inflated to over what I was willing to pay and I haven’t gone back. Same with milk.

2 days ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

There’s a reason they call them looney

2 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My wife was a medical coder and came across a chart of a homeless woman that was complaining about vaginal discomfort and itchiness. After an examination the chart documented that sprouts needed to be extracted from her vaginal canal: apparently she had used a potato as a masturbatory aid and a chunk with an eye broke off inside and sprouted.

2 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wasn’t he begging NATO for help a week ago to get the Strait of Hormuz open?

2 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My cat makes cute noises, your baby makes annoying noises. My cat shits in a box, your baby shits anywhere. A single can of baby formula: $30. A single can of friskies: $.80. Cat puke: mostly hair. Baby puke: gooey disgusting sludge. These things are not the same.

2 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My god is it so refreshing to hear an intelligent human in politics speak.

2 days ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Damn, that’s a crunchy beat

2 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Biscuits: “Why is there silverware in my nap box, human?”

2 days ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

See argument above: space isn’t real. Why wouldn’t she be drinking wallpaper paste?

2 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Space isn’t real because clouds look like clouds. Checkmate, atheists.

2 days ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How dangerous is it for a civilian aircraft to circle a nuclear submarine they happen upon?

2 days ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2 days ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Domestic rabbits are afraid of nothing. They will bite the hand of death himself.

2 days ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Perfectly designed planned obsolescence.

2 days ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Pork chops for lunch

2 days ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No. North Korea is the worst. Their government is deliberately starving its population, preventing any communication to the outside world and murders anyone who tries to leave.

2 days ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Know what your time is worth ahead of accepting a position and never give a corporation a single minute for free.

3 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Give your balls a tug, tit-fucker

3 days ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

3 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I never thought the world would come to this. An intern in a bunny suit appears to be smarter than the president of America

3 days ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0