RaisedByTurnips - rimgo

RaisedByTurnips

142698 pts · December 21, 2016

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People have asked about my turnip heritage, so I thought I'd enlighten you all: We're about to open quite the can of worms (or unbutton the mushroom, as we 'nips we say). As you may/may not have gathered although I've been raised by Turnips, I'm not actually genetically related to them. You see, I was adopted. Well, not so much adopted but more left in the cabbage patch by my utter fuck-ups of human parents, such fuck-ups were they that they couldn't even get that right and dumped me in a turnip field. Luckily the 'nips are sweet and well-round folks, they took me in, raised me as their own, showed me a kindness I've yet to discover in the strange human world. My childhood was difficult, I was so different to the others. There was only myself and Slim von OrangeTop (a carrot who accidentally grew in our village) who weren't turnip kind. This meant we were always lumped together. And it wasn't that I didn't like her, it's just that we had nothing in common really, but it was easier for us to both just go along with it. My 'nip parents (The Diggingbottoms) already had a couple of kids, one older than me; Gil, and a younger one; Sprouty. Sprouty and I got on fine, we'd often play, and he had no issues with introducing me to his friends, in fact most of my friends were obtained that way. However Gil... he never really got on board with having a person for a brother. He would make fun of my bodily functions and hair, called me Monkey Trumpet, and just laughed when I found the ground too cold to sleep in. Yeah, I had a lot of forgiving to do there once we grew up. There was this one time though, stuff really changed for me. Our school was entered into the Inter-village Spurts, a kind of sports tournament where the whole village got behind it's athletes, mostly teens, as they competed for a highly coveted Top Shelf Trophy. Well... guess who had quite the advantage in these sports? Being 2000% taller than the next contestant, I absolutely pummeled (we try not to use this term as it's super-insulting, but it's the most fitting in this case) all opposition, bringing home a whole array of first places AND get this... the Grand Cabbage Master himself presented me with the Top Shelf Trophy! It was the best day of my life. In an instant I was cool, popular and no-one could do enough for me. Even Gil gave me a pat on the back (of the leg). I was on cloud nine. I went straight back after the Spurts to tell Sprouty (he was too young to attend in person) but I couldn't find him anywhere. We looked for hours, he'd gone. It was a confusing time for my family, they wanted to be happy for me, but everyone was so worried about Sprouty, we just didn't have space for happiness. Days later we'd asked the whole village, all the other youngsters that couldn't make it, if anyone might have any clue what happened. Finally we discovered it... he'd wanted to join in, to come and cheer me on, he was such a good little 'nip, but he'd got stuck on the stuck on the way, we found only his leaves... It was clear what had happened, He'd been savagely picked! They don't come back from that. It tore our family apart. The accolade granted to me by my fellow school 'nips meant nothing if my family couldn't even look each other in the stems. I totally blame myself. I couldn't deal with it, I left... went to live life with the humans. And here I am... being all humany, with the humans, I'll never forget the day I crushed the Lettuces at rolling, the day I was adored by all the farm, the day my sweet little Sprouty was picked ---------------------------------------------------------- There's obviously much more to hear. Like the time I went to Glastonberry (the summer fruit festival), oh and of course I've not even got to talking about the leek overlords yet

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