Why guillotines when we could use catapults with no landing pads?
636
86
19213
I'm losing my boy
37
15
705
I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
29
1
285
Extra Medium Super Moderate Double Average Dump
962
72
52047
Even the gods make mistakes. And when they do, and they falter, we will destroy them. And then get icecream.
49
9
1691
The rains fall, but the fields go fallow. Businesses close, and empires fade from our memories. SHOP WALMART.
444
58
43125
How do I know that these bones inside me are not far more ancient than I; but a passing suit that it wears to stay warm and give it passage to other lands?
845
86
59702
Trust Fall Accident.
937
135
19254
Poe Tay Toe Force Five
944
144
20844
Do not tumble dry your bones. Air dry only. Hand washing encouraged.
52
8
1322
Life is hard, and the future is uncertain: Don't forget to charge your vibrators.
661
78
47738
While we wait for the vanquishment of capitalism, and the creation of justice, I bring you this relieving dump. And take no responsibility for any discomfort, rashes, financial hardships, elbow sprains, spontaneous allergies, or attractions to hair bands
84
8
2462
GATHER FOR THE HARVEST. Eat up...eat up...GATHER...HARVEST...EAT. Brought to you by Chevron with Techron (TM)
36
8
516
Daffodils with malicious intent. Grass with a history of larceny. A tree who dreams unfathomable horrors. Welcome to Nightvale.
47
6
871
Do not get out of bed. Do not go to work. Money is a lie, and is fact, not real. Capitalism is the nemesis, and this is how we shall fight. Or procrastinate, whatever, but you're late and its your own fault, for legal purposes. Your hair looks great
104
16
4700
At this years gender reveal party I shall be revealing new genders. They shall destroy currently existing genders. There will be no mercy. But there will be cake.
1318
107
69701
Inflatable elephants are seldom wrong in matters of fashion, finance, and fisticuffs.
45
2
1067
In the face of adversity, punch god right in the face.
83
14
2029
The hills are alive with the sound of the uuunndeeaaad...AHHHHHHHH!H!!#&!*@&!
97
12
2374
Your hair looks great today, and damn...those lungs...MAGNIFICENT!
1018
60
69286
Why is there a rat in the freezer? And other 'That's Not A Funny' stories!
48
9
420
With a high enough velocity, you too can escape capitalism.....SPACE!!!
1953
136
81259
Well, that's enough character development for the day, time for a nice soothing (depressing? who knows?!) dump.
1275
116
66896
The ripples calm, the water stands, and even the air holds its breath. Time pauses, to finally take its rest, eternal.
29
2
1005
When madness finally breaks, we hear the echoes of the void.
18
2
774
Put the gun down Mr Potato Head...you don't have to do this...
66
5
2758
The Wings Of A Crow...But Pink?
73
16
1923
Fixed it
15
3
1491
Abandon your regrets. Murder your shame. Manslaughter your embarassment. Destroy your hesitation. Give a funny haircut to your discomfort. Discard your pants, they are an illusion. Where was I going with this again?
42
5
1348
Awaken Musta Krakish, The Lake Troll. Bring unto us...memes
50
11
2703
God slept through his alarm, and did not come into work today. This is the consequence of his incompetence that we now all live through.
93
4
2645
The beauty of nature.
42
8
1492
The snows fall, the land quiets. The embers crackle and the crone rests.
76
6
1967
I walk into the prairie. I never return. They try to get me. I run. They chase. I leave traps. I get two of them. One remains. They fall, I feel compassion. They attack me. I remove their ear. Its Van Gough. I'm a time traveler.
18
3
793
Good night, Nightvale...Goodnight...
19
6
601
Post Thanksgiving Leftovers Dump
1557
106
74447
One brain cell for kicking. One brain cell for fuckery.
2146
196
110961
You deserve to be happy, to be loved, and to have a good life. Here's some stolen shit.
61
11
2608
If we were a civilized nation, good quality breakfast food would be available 24/7. But here we are.
50
8
1769
The stars scream at night, but you cannot hear them.
71
19
2548
Eat your loved ones and they'll be part of you forever.
47
10
1330
I hope you're all having a good day.
1391
124
86041
Terms and conditions apply. Just make sure to read the small print, and no matter what you do, for your safety, definitely make sure not to
15
4
479
Quit your job, inhabit a potato, dust the curtains, forgive the moon for its sins. Grow.
49
20
1704
It's not an apocalypse, it's just sparking end of the world.
87
15
2760
Write me a haiku and I will give you nearly nothing in return.
77
24
2370
I pulled out some detail to make it easier to see the most distant and faint galaxies, and thought you might want to see it too.
6
2
783