2082 pts · July 11, 2014
I always want subtitles on anything and everything. I strongly dislike these because: They're way too jumpy. I want static subtitles. The "zipping away" and enlarging a word, moving a word up suddenly, etc. effects make it visually overwhelming. Give me longer blocks of text, the actual sentences, that hang around a bit longer, not the short three-word bits. There's so much more going on than just "text" and it costs my brain too much processing power.
Some kitties do not do well with other kitties, in which case the kitty would be happier solo. (As said by someone that was planning on getting 2 "fixed" kitties and ended up with 1 "intact" cat with heart issues)
An official diagnosis can assist in getting the correct kind of help/understanding. For instance, if there's support programs specifically for autistic people, or forcing an employer to allow you to wear your noisecancelling headset. *Mileage may vary depending on location. - That said, knowing you're autistic, even without "making it official" can already help you figure our how to improve your life in many ways.
Kids often misinterpret things in ways adults don't even think about. As an adult, we _know_ that giving blood is no big deal. So a kid thinking giving blood = giving his life for his sister doesn't come up as a possibility for any of the adults involved, including the parents. I know I've thought some weird/dumb stuff after hearing stuff that contextually made sense to the adults.. Still agree on hoping it isn't true though. Imagine thinking your parents are willing to let you die for your sis.
Meanwhile, I've never seen an ibuprofen that wasn't pink. I've also never seen the "hot dog" variant over here in the Netherlands. Regional differences?
Yeah, it devalues the discussion. Also, making peace with how you look is easier if you don't see people constantly pointing at a trait you have & calling it ugly or insinuating you might be less of a person for generally not being considered attracive. There is no added value in randomly and umpromptedly telling/reminding people they're unattractive. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Many can't help being ugly, but being unkind is a choice that some people don't even realize they're making.
Please attack him for the things he said and did, not his looks. Your comment hits innocent people that are already insecure about their looks that happen to share these physical traits.
2/2 yes, I am probably missing the importance you ascribe to it. But we are different people with different views. My autistic ass also often has trouble truly understanding others, but I do try to stay openminded and live a life where we don't decide that (non harmful) life choices/preferences make one person/relationship better than the other. Out of a genuine wish to understand: would you be willing to message me what the importance of marriage is to you?
I fully understand that for many people it is very important. For me, it was mostly out of practicality, and the fact that my partner is one of those people that finds it important. I think any consenting adults should be able to get married if they want it, and it's outrageous if they can't. I just wanted to say some people not desiring marriage in their lifelong relationship is okay. Just like it's okay that marriage is a must-have in someone else's relationship. Neither is "better". 1/2
As someone who is married to the right person... The actual marriage isn't important to me. Yeah, I like getting to call him "my husband", but our love is the same. I made the commitment, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. The piece of paper didn't change anything. Saying "you haven't met the right person at the right time" sounds like you're diminishing the love other people share with their non-married partners.
Hmm, I guess I see doing it for fun/to pass some time as kinda the same is doing it for the sake of doing it. But I can understand what you mean now. And it's fine to try and do it well, but if you just want to have some fun, focussing on wether or not it's good enough might make you not do it/take away the joy. And one of the best ways of getting better is by simply doing it again, and again, and again :)
Think about all the cave art that has been found. Oldest found cave painting is 51,200 years old. The oldest known musical instrument is a 60,000-year-old Neanderthal flute. Singing can be done during activities that do not require silence. IDK what "overly frivolous" would be, but humans have been doing art since before we were humans. Especially when life is hard, you need to find joy where you can. Why not do a little dance while you're waiting for your food to cook?
Yep, fully agree! But then I'm also the type of person to, if I do go to a party with people I like, ask the hosts if they have a quiet spot where I could retreat to when I feel the need. I always bring my noise-cancelling headset, possibly a book or something else to do. All things I've only learned, and started allowing myself, to do after my diagnosis :)
Yep, that's a way better way of phrasing the question, in my opinion! Of course, overthinkers can still go: "What kind of books? What kind of people?", but I do think it already takes away a lot of ambiguity. Especially since, even if both are the worst case scenario: being in a room with books you don't like = meh, they'll stay where they are. People that you don't like will be a lot more actively present.
As a diagnosed-in-adulthood autist, I completely understand. Looking back on things, I now realize I've answered some questions wrong and probably would've scored even "higher on the autism score" if I'd understood the questions, and myself, better. Also, in hindsight: If you have so many requirements of what the party should be for you to want to be there... the answer is probably that you'd rather stay home, on average ;)
You're right in that it's not her fault for being mentally ill. What IS her fault though, is failing to take responsibility for the way her mental illness hurts others and trying to do something about it. There are ways to deal with mental illness, and if she chooses not work on herself you are fully allowed to be upset about that. It's good that you've developed better boundaries! Always take care of yourself first.
Thanks! Reading through that brings back some vague memories that I think I repressed. Damn depressing.
Thanks for the clarification! The shit these assholes come up with and then tout as truth is mind boggling. I don't even live in the US and the goings-on terrify me.
Would you care to explain what you [they] mean with the "cat and litter box thing"? The only thing I can think of is toxoplasmosis, but in this context I suspect that's not what's referenced.
Do not underestimate how difficult it is to be a full-time caretaker to a parent. It can take a heavy toll on the caretaker. My mom knows, and agrees, we'll be looking for a home if she needs care. I grew up taking care of a handicapped father. Neither she nor I want to put me through that again. Of course I'd look for as nice a home as I can find, and visit regularly.
In the Netherlands, "kanker" (cancer) has been used as a swear for quite some time. Obviously, many people that have lost loved ones to cancer get upset at this use. When my MIL had cancer, she joked at her husband that he turned out to have married a "kankerwijf" after all. (translated to something like cancerous bitch) You bet we all laughed our asses off after the initial shock at hearing those words out of her mouth wore off.
When I first moved in with my partner, I demanded we set up our gaming desks next to each other in the living room. 10/10 would recommend. Just hang out, each doing your own thing, together.
I have been only really felt insulted once when someone didn't like the gift I bought. Guy I was dating at the time: liked to eat with chopsticks, and we played the Star Wars MMO together. I saw some lightsaber chopsticks and thought they were perfect. In my eyes, they were both meaningful and useful. He looked really let down and said he "already had chopsticks". Wish I'd just kept them myself. (Looking back, maybe he was just really fussy about the quality of his chopsticks?)
It can be, but(t) only one I speak with my partner. I also generally don't speak any love languages with strangers.
That's where you're wrong. By that time any physical copy will be at least $120!
Those are obviously scritches, not pats.
That sure sounds like heroic sacrifice to me!
In the wild, smaller animals such as birds or fish often clean up the larger ones, eating parasites, leftovers, etc. Here's a video that includes fish doing dental work on a hippo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTHtn6-Makg
Different bodies will respond differently to it, i figure. You did good, recognizing what the effects on you were and reacting to it properly. My comment was mostly a "I did not experience it as heaven, it is very difficult for me to properly understand that other people do so". The oxycodone made it impossible for me to properly think, which was horrible to me. I do not know if you also got that effect, if you enjoyed it if you did, or if you experienced something better than me.
Oh yeah, not getting the right pain meds when you are in that much pain is horrible. I should clarify that while I did not like taking the oxycodon and its mind-numbing effects on me, it was still preferable to the pain I had without it. I just did not want to do it any longer than I had to, once the pain lessened. I'm so sorry you're not getting the healthcare you need. I hope you can find (and afford) a doctor that will help you figure something out & that your infection clears up very soon.
I always want subtitles on anything and everything. I strongly dislike these because: They're way too jumpy. I want static subtitles. The "zipping away" and enlarging a word, moving a word up suddenly, etc. effects make it visually overwhelming. Give me longer blocks of text, the actual sentences, that hang around a bit longer, not the short three-word bits. There's so much more going on than just "text" and it costs my brain too much processing power.
Some kitties do not do well with other kitties, in which case the kitty would be happier solo. (As said by someone that was planning on getting 2 "fixed" kitties and ended up with 1 "intact" cat with heart issues)
An official diagnosis can assist in getting the correct kind of help/understanding. For instance, if there's support programs specifically for autistic people, or forcing an employer to allow you to wear your noisecancelling headset. *Mileage may vary depending on location. - That said, knowing you're autistic, even without "making it official" can already help you figure our how to improve your life in many ways.
Kids often misinterpret things in ways adults don't even think about. As an adult, we _know_ that giving blood is no big deal. So a kid thinking giving blood = giving his life for his sister doesn't come up as a possibility for any of the adults involved, including the parents. I know I've thought some weird/dumb stuff after hearing stuff that contextually made sense to the adults.. Still agree on hoping it isn't true though. Imagine thinking your parents are willing to let you die for your sis.
Meanwhile, I've never seen an ibuprofen that wasn't pink. I've also never seen the "hot dog" variant over here in the Netherlands. Regional differences?
Yeah, it devalues the discussion. Also, making peace with how you look is easier if you don't see people constantly pointing at a trait you have & calling it ugly or insinuating you might be less of a person for generally not being considered attracive. There is no added value in randomly and umpromptedly telling/reminding people they're unattractive. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Many can't help being ugly, but being unkind is a choice that some people don't even realize they're making.
Please attack him for the things he said and did, not his looks. Your comment hits innocent people that are already insecure about their looks that happen to share these physical traits.
2/2 yes, I am probably missing the importance you ascribe to it. But we are different people with different views. My autistic ass also often has trouble truly understanding others, but I do try to stay openminded and live a life where we don't decide that (non harmful) life choices/preferences make one person/relationship better than the other. Out of a genuine wish to understand: would you be willing to message me what the importance of marriage is to you?
I fully understand that for many people it is very important. For me, it was mostly out of practicality, and the fact that my partner is one of those people that finds it important. I think any consenting adults should be able to get married if they want it, and it's outrageous if they can't. I just wanted to say some people not desiring marriage in their lifelong relationship is okay. Just like it's okay that marriage is a must-have in someone else's relationship. Neither is "better". 1/2
As someone who is married to the right person... The actual marriage isn't important to me. Yeah, I like getting to call him "my husband", but our love is the same. I made the commitment, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. The piece of paper didn't change anything. Saying "you haven't met the right person at the right time" sounds like you're diminishing the love other people share with their non-married partners.
Hmm, I guess I see doing it for fun/to pass some time as kinda the same is doing it for the sake of doing it. But I can understand what you mean now. And it's fine to try and do it well, but if you just want to have some fun, focussing on wether or not it's good enough might make you not do it/take away the joy. And one of the best ways of getting better is by simply doing it again, and again, and again :)
Think about all the cave art that has been found. Oldest found cave painting is 51,200 years old. The oldest known musical instrument is a 60,000-year-old Neanderthal flute. Singing can be done during activities that do not require silence. IDK what "overly frivolous" would be, but humans have been doing art since before we were humans. Especially when life is hard, you need to find joy where you can. Why not do a little dance while you're waiting for your food to cook?
Yep, fully agree! But then I'm also the type of person to, if I do go to a party with people I like, ask the hosts if they have a quiet spot where I could retreat to when I feel the need. I always bring my noise-cancelling headset, possibly a book or something else to do. All things I've only learned, and started allowing myself, to do after my diagnosis :)
Yep, that's a way better way of phrasing the question, in my opinion! Of course, overthinkers can still go: "What kind of books? What kind of people?", but I do think it already takes away a lot of ambiguity. Especially since, even if both are the worst case scenario: being in a room with books you don't like = meh, they'll stay where they are. People that you don't like will be a lot more actively present.
As a diagnosed-in-adulthood autist, I completely understand. Looking back on things, I now realize I've answered some questions wrong and probably would've scored even "higher on the autism score" if I'd understood the questions, and myself, better. Also, in hindsight: If you have so many requirements of what the party should be for you to want to be there... the answer is probably that you'd rather stay home, on average ;)
You're right in that it's not her fault for being mentally ill. What IS her fault though, is failing to take responsibility for the way her mental illness hurts others and trying to do something about it. There are ways to deal with mental illness, and if she chooses not work on herself you are fully allowed to be upset about that. It's good that you've developed better boundaries! Always take care of yourself first.
Thanks! Reading through that brings back some vague memories that I think I repressed. Damn depressing.
Thanks for the clarification! The shit these assholes come up with and then tout as truth is mind boggling. I don't even live in the US and the goings-on terrify me.
Would you care to explain what you [they] mean with the "cat and litter box thing"? The only thing I can think of is toxoplasmosis, but in this context I suspect that's not what's referenced.
Do not underestimate how difficult it is to be a full-time caretaker to a parent. It can take a heavy toll on the caretaker. My mom knows, and agrees, we'll be looking for a home if she needs care. I grew up taking care of a handicapped father. Neither she nor I want to put me through that again. Of course I'd look for as nice a home as I can find, and visit regularly.
In the Netherlands, "kanker" (cancer) has been used as a swear for quite some time. Obviously, many people that have lost loved ones to cancer get upset at this use. When my MIL had cancer, she joked at her husband that he turned out to have married a "kankerwijf" after all. (translated to something like cancerous bitch) You bet we all laughed our asses off after the initial shock at hearing those words out of her mouth wore off.
When I first moved in with my partner, I demanded we set up our gaming desks next to each other in the living room. 10/10 would recommend. Just hang out, each doing your own thing, together.
I have been only really felt insulted once when someone didn't like the gift I bought. Guy I was dating at the time: liked to eat with chopsticks, and we played the Star Wars MMO together. I saw some lightsaber chopsticks and thought they were perfect. In my eyes, they were both meaningful and useful. He looked really let down and said he "already had chopsticks". Wish I'd just kept them myself. (Looking back, maybe he was just really fussy about the quality of his chopsticks?)
It can be, but(t) only one I speak with my partner. I also generally don't speak any love languages with strangers.
That's where you're wrong. By that time any physical copy will be at least $120!
Those are obviously scritches, not pats.
That sure sounds like heroic sacrifice to me!
In the wild, smaller animals such as birds or fish often clean up the larger ones, eating parasites, leftovers, etc. Here's a video that includes fish doing dental work on a hippo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTHtn6-Makg
Different bodies will respond differently to it, i figure. You did good, recognizing what the effects on you were and reacting to it properly. My comment was mostly a "I did not experience it as heaven, it is very difficult for me to properly understand that other people do so". The oxycodone made it impossible for me to properly think, which was horrible to me. I do not know if you also got that effect, if you enjoyed it if you did, or if you experienced something better than me.
Oh yeah, not getting the right pain meds when you are in that much pain is horrible. I should clarify that while I did not like taking the oxycodon and its mind-numbing effects on me, it was still preferable to the pain I had without it. I just did not want to do it any longer than I had to, once the pain lessened. I'm so sorry you're not getting the healthcare you need. I hope you can find (and afford) a doctor that will help you figure something out & that your infection clears up very soon.