DickMercenary

116638 pts ยท June 15, 2013


The name has nothing to do with genitals. I am a jerk for hire. Too polite to insult someone to their face? I'll do it for you. Too meek to tell the office gossip to shut the hell up and mind their own business? I got you. Got a kid who is a bit too old to still be believing in the Easter bunny/Santa/tooth fairy? Piss off. I'm an asshole, not a monster.

Jumping jacks. You're doing jumping jacks.

1 month ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Aah shit.. he got Snoop? I kinda liked him since his whole "Old dude bros with Willie Nelson" phase

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

But some Youtuber told them it's literally the worst game ever made. It's.. not like.. a Youtuber would overreact, would they?

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It was during the very early days of COVID so people were desperate to feel connected and have a bit of levity.

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

3 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

Did it hop off the wall, murk him, then hop back on the wall? HOW DID THIS GO DOWN, STEPHEN? I NEED TO KNOW! 3/3

3 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

With a blood trail leading to.. A FUCKING CLOCK ON THE WALL! Like.. did the guy get eviscerated trying to set the thing? 2/

3 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

The one that always stuck with me is when the one guy is looking around the diner I think.. there's a corpse on the floor.. 1/

3 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

They do quite often. Unsinkable Sam, Sergeant Stubby, Cher Ami, and Corporal Wojtek are some great examples.

3 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Wojtek is great but hard to beat Cher Ami. They were one helluva badass in a very small package.

3 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Unsinkable Sam, Sergeant Stubby, Cher Ami, and of course Corporal Wojtek.

3 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

He'd chew through the Republicans easy. They have no substance.

3 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I mean the gif literally starts with her bra visible and a tiny bit of side boob. I've seen posts go full horny for less.

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Bet I could beat him at chess.. or maybe Chutes and Ladders.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You.. you do know you could just take the blank paper and put it back in the feed tray, yeah? It's not ruined just running through rollers.

3 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It makes the janitors work even harder and their job is already, in some cases literally, shitty. Fill the principals car with em, instead.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Identify the most likely to snitch. Find a way to get them out of class. Show it to the rest. Become legend.

3 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

Khuzdul. The Dwarf language is Khuzdal in Middle Earth.

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes. It's a tool to express yourself. Just like a paint brush is a tool. AI just has less of a learning curve to get the results you want.

3 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Comin in low out of the rising sun.

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Partial to Space Mutiny myself but Final Sacrifice is not far behind.

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I have no clue what the hell I just read but.. love the username. I wonder if there is beer on the sun.

3 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Why ya gotta sully Ed like that? The hyenas actually turned on Scar when they found out he hated them instead of doubling down like MAGAts.

3 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

To her simple brain she thinks America IS Earth.

3 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Shoulda been Stonewall Riots breaking out awhile ago but people are just relying on "Trans lives matter" posts and possum pictures nowadays.

3 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

If they don't chew their food properly they could literally get brain damage. 2/2

3 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

Nope. Kinda related fucked up natureness: Squid have a donut shaped brain that their esophagus runs through the hole of. 1/

3 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1