draxom

3725 pts ยท October 24, 2013


I work at a certain restaurant chain known for soup and sandwiches. One day, I was putting away the truck delivery when the AGM walks up and says "These god damned ni**ers are destroying my oatmeal projections!". I drop a VERY heavy box and go "EXCUSE me?!?". He responds with "These old women sitting up front eating oatmeal and knitting." I say "Oh.... KniTTers... Enunciate, mother fucker".

"What is up, my Knitters?" Became a common greeting at work after this.

10 months ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Reminder to all secret service members and armed personnel around the president ... If it saves the country, it's not illegal.

1 year ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

1 year ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

1 year ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Ahhh... Now I remember you. The so called "Art Collector."

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

SedaGIVE?!?!?!

3 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

What if we covered the fingers in nice, smooth shark skin.

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They did...on January 6th...nothing happened

3 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

3 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Moar cat stories?

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I had to scroll so far down to find this post. I had the same reaction. Thank you random stranger.

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yes. The farther past bedtime I stay up the more he moves between me and the keyboard. It's quite endearing

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I wish, he sleeps very lightly until he curls up on the bed. The farther past bed time I go the more he moves between me and the keyboard.

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

you poor person. should I send an ambulance...or a pizza guy?

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I see he is also exhausted.

4 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

No kids so he's eligible for a Darwin Award

5 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

You watched them all and still have no idea where the fucking sound is coming from

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You can't trust a word he said

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They are just trying to spruce things up a bit

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Slower, you slut!

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

G.N.U. Terry Pratchett

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yeah. But if things start to fall apart...their covered.

6 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Now, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm sure it's bovine.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I AM THE NIGHT

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

But their skin is so smooth

6 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 3

Due to personal reasons I will be pretending that everything is normal.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Does he drool when you scratch his chin? I had a cat that looked just like him and acted more like a dog than a cat. Drooled a river too

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm coming home, Ace.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0