Sober and cigarette free for 90 days
16
8
667
jfc my blood is boiling
769
114
30702
How to sew a butthole closed
14
13
1256
Sweet. In 9 months it'll be my chance to lay the world's #22 best curler, cause you know those single mom's put out.
22
18
1210
I almost missed Tuesday
24
5
710
Heterosexual conversion therapy
654
124
21413
border patrol will never know the difference
5
0
468
Heroes in a half-shell
18
10
1001
Quitting is hard
795
102
28704
DOJ releases photo of Jeffrey Epstein
34
10
1252
doin the thing doin the thing. ᵇʳᵉᵃᵏᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᵃʷ ᵇʳᵉᵃᵏᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᵃʷ
541
80
21641
My favourite Jon Oliver moment
22
4
1046
Anyone wanna see my 9mm handgun?
12
1
699
Is this what we're doing now?
8
2
407
Doneski
33
4
752
This is the year
520
36
22810
It's just not entertaining or stimulating
-2
18
205
omg did Stephen Colbert (not Stephen Colbert) predict Heated Rivalry?
19
14
1137
If your friend's parents had one of these bad boys in the 90's, his birthday party was gonna be fucking lit.
21
15
872
It has started
49
18
1304
I just want to browse imgur without half-naked women ever 5 posts
-3
59
1328
Am I doing this right?
13
4
426
when your cat has too much Tylenol
36
3
1199
Gimme MBA now
16
24
949
When you win an Emmy for overlaying fart noises on a soundboard video
11
3
767
sssssssssssssssss
20
3
418
lfg Democracy
20
7
895
username ... uhh ... not .. relevant?
11
5
775
It's his favorite thing to do, and he thinks about it all the time
34
7
677
mmm. delightful.
21
8
1416
No Nut November mission failed
35
14
987
Fuck. Yes. The first half of the new season kicks. ass.
21
13
815
They still haven't fixed this huge pile of shit
22
10
923
Toolband dot com sent me out a a bunch of shirts for a bluegrass artist and wouldn't comp the $81 I paid on import fees
-4
6
326
1 BJ is better than 9 Yanks
12
8
684
1.1M views in < 2 hours
5
6
897
18M views in 24 hours. How's that for ratings, DT, you bitch?
383
63
22810
fired
38
10
1415
Also, programmer, I think.
427
80
25851
I'll also write a letter to tell them I'm going to boycott their products
959
31
30470
This is the year
429
54
17608
The Onion has zero chill
30
2
376
teeny tiny penis
20
14
958
I'm like ...
33
5
1419
The Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Ballroom
-4
6
101
The Onion roasting social conservatives
40
8
1226
These two things happened to me on Halloween. My only regret is not doing it 20 years ago.
36
28
1553
911, Ontario. 911.
38
7
544
Don't get me banned. Keep at least a little bit of plausible deniability.
25
39
1236
Nightmares I have
10
15
1004
I wonder what he's thinking about right now.
26
5
368
Another year and things are getting worse
876
69
27974
Trump loves ... uh ... wut
42
3
378
Five years ago and this is still relevant
575
28
25003